Ruined my proposal. Would love some advice

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
1492 posts
Bumble bee

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kokila06 :  its going to be special regardless so relax. You aren’t the one who ruined this suprise your family egged you on. They knew he came to them and asked for their permission so obviously they should have shut up and kept that to themselves instead of calling you and pushing for a relationship update that set you off. So your family ruined it. Everyone played a part here. Even If i was expecting it, i would still be just as excited and love it. So just enjoy it and relax. Nothing to do here. 

Post # 3
1614 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Nope. But put it this way… you were still surprised. Just surprised today instead of next week. Go with the flow and enjoy your life together.

Post # 4
1062 posts
Bumble bee

Knowing it’s coming doesn’t ruin it! Lots of people have clear timelines and plans and still enjoy the moment. Since you both know you will say yes (as every day who states a proposal should because couples should talk about these things) think of it as a celebration of your relationship that you have to look forward to!

Post # 5
5056 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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kokila06 :   you know what, you may have ruined the surprise but you reassured yourself that you got a good man who knows you and accepts and loves your quirks. The way he chose to react and reassure you says lots about him.

My proposal wasn’t a surprise but it was still special. Don’t stress and enjoy it. You will laugh about it in a little while and it will be your cute engagement story that you will chuckle about together in your future. I say it on here but my hubby got so nervous (even though I knew it was happening and he knew I’d say yes) he forgot all the words he’d planned and just gave me the ring and said ‘so are you going to put it on?’ I still tease him about it and will quote him every so often in everyday situations when he’s required to put something on!! 😄

If you want to add some surprise maybe think of some nice words and surprise him with a mangagement ring straight after he proposes to you. I think that’s a sweet way to surprise him.

Congrats on the upcoming  non surprise engagement! 😋

Post # 7
9939 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

You didn’t ruin anything. 

Your proposal will still be wonderful and maybe even more wonderful.  My husband told me (after proposing) that he was anxious and stressed about what my answer would be (however, he’d dropped several hints he would be proposing, so I wasn’t surprised but was still happy), he was worried I might say no.  I think a lot of men have that fear.  I’ve heard the same from some male friends.

You may have made it all the more relaxing and fun for your future husband because now he knows without a doubt how excited you are to marry him.  Relax and enjoy!

Post # 9
3385 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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kokila06 :  He could still surprise you. My hubby proposed and we went to get my ring together. He wanted to present it to me properly so took it as soon as we brought it. I didn’t think he would be able to do that as a surprise, but he did.

We got home after a very long drive and I was busting for the loo so into the downstairs I went. When I opened the door to come out, there he was on one knee with ring open and offered to me. Best surprise ever.

Post # 10
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I echo the idea of trying to get him a ring so you can give him a nice surprise in return 🙂

Post # 11
3102 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

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kokila06 :  um, you didn’t *know* it was only going to be another week,  you’ve been waiting for awhile. He knew you were anxious about it,  if he had gotten his butte in gear quicker, this wouldn’t have even happened. You’re impatient for sure,  but he has a little fault here too…. the timing of getting engaged is a joint decision, it’s not his unilateral decision. Let it go now. It will still be a special moment. 

Post # 12
1648 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

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mrstodd2bee :  omggg go away

Post # 13
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

Honestly to make up for it and make this day good you need a two told approach.

Forget everything and enjoy the day. if you keep this attitude of it being ruined then you will ruin it. Clean slate! 🙂 

part 2- work on yourself. You can’t carry on expecting him to always be patient and dealing with your flaws. Work  onnypur flaws so this sort of thing doesnt happens again and he doesn’t have to be patient with you. 


Also wtf to your family ?? He told them and they immediately ring you and interrogate you? >:/

Post # 15
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

View original reply
kokila06 :  Seriously don’t beat yourself up. It’s going to be special because you said yes. That’s all he needs. You’re way overthinking this. Also, you didn’t ruin it. Your family did by meddling. You were behaving naturally with the information you had. 

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