Ruined my SO’s proposal :(

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper

If it was the best planned proposal ever why not just go with it? Why does it have to be a surprise that two adults agree to spend their lives together? 

You didn’t ruin anything–you can now relax knowing that you are both headed in the same direction. 

Post # 3
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Another I ruined my proposal post….great. bottom line is he didn’t have to say anything to you and any man who blames his gf “for ruining his proposal” when he gave away the details himself is lame af. 

Post # 4
Member
28 posts
Newbee

I say let him still do it. Now you’ll be excited for every minute of these adventures. 

Post # 5
Member
2705 posts
Sugar bee

Sounds like he’s just making things up to get you to stop questioning and stay with him. It’s for next year anyway-not even this year!!!

Post # 6
Member
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Aww. Try not to feel bad! It sounds like he was going back in forth in conversation to throw you off, but obviously, that created an issue. (Have you ever watched Friends? Yes, it’s a tv show, but Monica and Chandler still had a romantic proposal after almost ruining things!) It will be okay! Just try to relax and enjoy the adventure. Let him propose how he wants, even if that means it’s no longer a big surprise. I know that might not be too helpful, just try not to worry too much. He didn’t have to spoil the whole plan, but now that you know, you can focus on the future you two will have together. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

it sounds like a bunch of crap TBH.

when i discovered that my fiance had the ring from the jeweler, i begged to just take a peek for 5 seconds and then he didn’t have to show it to me until the proposal, i was just so excited.

he planned to propose at sunset on the beach, he mentioned a few months previous.

when he saw me kicking my feet and so excited when he turned around to show me the ring, he just knelt down and proposed in his bedroom.

i “ruined” his plan, but he just couldn’t wait when he saw how happy i was in the moment.

he’ll do it when he feels like it, if he feels like it, and if he doesn’t its because he doesn’t want to. not because its ruined.

Post # 8
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

He ruined it by telling you. You didn’t ruin anything. Why would he wait another year and try to drop hints through gifts in the meantime? It’s been 6 years and he wants to wait another just to propose on holiday? It seems cruel to put you in that position, especially if it’s been a point of contention before.

Post # 9
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee

And here’s another one who decided to gaslight the crap out of you. 

He decided to ruin this proposal period. You didn’t, you simply asked for clarification of his commitment and if he has a timeline. He could have said I am committed I have a timeline, You can anticipate us taking the next stage in oru relationship barring an emergency by blank date at the lastest.

Post # 10
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

This sounds like an excuse by him. You gave him a hard time for not proposing so he made up some story about how a Christmas gift of a frame was linked to your proposal next holiday season?? This sounds like BS. 

Post # 12
Member
392 posts
Helper bee

lulubelle2017 :  Yeah how exactly does a picture frame link to a proposal? That could literally be linked to anything.

And if the guy’s so sure he wants to propose to you now then wtf doesn’t he just do it NOW? Why wait a year especially since you’ve been together for 6. Forget the big romantic gesture at this point.

Post # 13
Member
12127 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

He’s the one who “ruined” the surprise. It would have been just as easy to tell you that he’s 100% committed without giving anything away. 

When two people agree to be married, that makes them engaged. The rest is just window dressing. Being that you’ve been having these discussions he easily could have asked if a proposal sooner rather than later matters more than some grand gesture. 

Post # 14
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry your SO is such a big baby that the only way to deal with this confrontation was to ruin the surprise for you, rather than act like an adult. 

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