(Closed) Rules when it comes to timelines for invites and save the dates

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I send out my STD’s six months before the wedding and my invites a little less than 3 months.

Save the dates can be whatever you want, mine were just cards. Just make sure they are the right size for the envelope you get. Totally up to you.

Our wedding was October 6th and we asked for RSVP’s by September 15th. Gave us some time to contact people and get answers if we needed to.

Good luck!

Post # 4
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Sassafraskate:  When is your wedding?  Generally they recommend 6 months before for Save the dates.  They don’t have to be magnets.  We actually did paper fortune tellers for ours.  They can be whatever you want!  Size isn’t an issue either.

Invitations usually get sent out about 3 months before.  I’ve noticed people generally request invitations back anywhere from 2-4 weeks before the wedding.  I had an RSVP date a month before our wedding.  It was a little excessive, but I didn’t have  a whole lot of hussle and bussle when it came to needing to call people to get them back.

Post # 5
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Save the Dates are a recent invention, not a traditional requirement. (They’re a convenient profit-generator for the wedding industry.) If your wedding is on a holiday, or if it’s a destination wedding/will require a lot of travel, they make sense as a courtesy to your guests (so they can plan the trip, get plane tickets, know not go somewhere else on Memorial Day or Labor Day, etc.)

For the actual invitations, 6-8 weeks before the wedding is pretty standard, with an RSVP deadline of maybe 2-3 weeks out. That varies a bit in individual cases, of course, but you don’t want to make the RSVP deadline too early (your numbers won’t be accurate because people will forget, plans will change, etc.)

Post # 6
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999


We sent out Save-The-Date Cards 9 months before the weding

We sent out invitations 4 months before the wedding

Our RSVP date is 6 weeks before the wedding


I know this is a bit different than what is traditioanlly recommended but it’s what our wedding planner told us to do, so we did.

Post # 7
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I sent out Save-The-Date Cards 7 months before the wedding (but we’re only having an 8 month engagement, so it was as fast as I could get them out). I am sending the invitations 11 weeks in advance. I would have sent them more around the 8 – 9 week mark if it was a local wedding, but literally every guest has to travel in for the wedding so I wanted to send them a little bit further.

Our RSVP date is a month before the wedding, so they have 6+ weeks to make hotel arrangements and respond. The RSVP date is 4 days before the hotel blocks expire.

Post # 8
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’ll be sending invites out four months before because it fits my schedule better.  Our RSVP date will put us right around my last break from school so I can follow up with non-responders.

We sent our Save the Dates about 8 months before, our wedding is semi-destination so we wanted to give travelers enough notice.

Post # 9
3340 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

Saves the Dates can go out 12-9 months before the wedding.  The point is to make sure people know you’re engaged and “save the date” for your wedding.  Therefore, don’t send out Save the Dates to people that you don’t plan on inviting later.

Invitations should go out 2-3 months before the wedding.  Ask for RSVPs to be returned at least 30-40 days before the wedding so you can give guest count numbers to your caterer.

Save the Dates can be anything you want them to be: magnet, paper, big, small, postcard, photo, text only.

Post # 10
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

So if you’re hoping for a lot of Out of Town guests, would a year in advance be reasonable?

Post # 11
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I plan on sending out my Save-The-Date Cards a year in advance since my wedding will be out of state even for ME so a lot of my friends will be coming from out of state. The invites will be sent out 4-5 months later with an rsvp date of 3 weeks prior to the wedding.

Post # 12
13248 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We mailed our Save-The-Date Cards about 10 months before the wedding (involved travel for most of our guests, so we gave them a lot of notice) and invites about 10 weeks before (this past Monday!).  Our RSVP date is 2/16, exactly one month prior to the wedding.  My caterer needs the final numbers 2 weeks out, so it allows me two weeks to chase down RSVPs from non-responders.

Post # 13
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i did on-line save the dates to save money. i sent them 6 months before. and in my experience, they were kinda pointless. i wasn’t even going to send them, but i was constantly being asked, “when’s your wedding again?” and even after i sent them out everyone was still asking me when the wedding was. (actually, even after the invitations went out people were asking me for details. wtf?) some people even thought the save the date was the invitation.

i sent my invitations 2.5 months before.

my rsvp date was 4 weeks before. i had a lot of people who didn’t respond on time and they took their sweet time getting back to me, so i’m glad i gave myself plenty of time to harrass people, haha.

Post # 14
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Save-The-Date Cards are usually sent 5-6 months before. Invitations are usually sent 6-8 weeks before, with an RSVP date of 4-5 weeks before the wedding. If it’s a destination wedding or you have people coming from overseas you should do the STD 9-12 months in advance, and invitations about 3 months before. If you just have a couple really Out of Town (other side of the country) folks just call them in advance.

Post # 15
28 posts
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MrsWBS:  That’s what we at doing too! I so prefer having all that done ahead of time!

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