(Closed) Runners- can I be frustrated with him? (vent)

posted 8 years ago in Fitness
Post # 3
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

I think you have a right to be annoyed, but he has already made his choice and it doesn’t sound like that is going to change. I don’t think either of you is more right than the other, you just have different priorities for the race.

I would look at this as an opportunity to really challenge yourself. Make a fun, energized playlist to run along with. As far as carrying the phone, can you buy an armband for it so you don’t have to run with it in your pocket? Then you can also use the phone to listen to music.

Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You can be frustrated with him, but runners are a special breed and some people race to race, not just to run.  He might have just  been encouraging you to run because he likes it and thinks it’s healthy.   You both need to be honest about your expectations with each other and I think your last sentence says it all – you need to find a running partner with a similar pace and goals to yours.  I am like your man in that I find it hard to run with other people and prefer it as time for me.  I have friends who will only run with others.  Just talk to him about it and be honest. 

Can I suggest you use a different mantra too?? Your mantra is so negative that it might be doing more harm than good!  This is cheesy, but try “feet fast, legs strong, I can do this all day long!”  A mantra should help encourage and push you, not be a constant reminder that you are hurting and miserable!!  Just a (totally unsolicited) thought!

Post # 5
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

I feel ya and it’s a toughie – I work out with my hub and he’s faster than me and it’s frustrating.  I understand in races wanting to go as fast as he can, though for you I can see why perhaps he could have chosen a better run to do it on.  But maybe he can run with you that distance before the race to make sure you can do it. 

My frustration is more that even when we’re working out he’ll have to go ahead of me, which is fine, he’s faster, I told him to go on sprints as long as he comes back for me – but sometimes I wonder why he’s so insistant that he likes me as his workout buddy as most of the workout he’s not even with me or he just seems like he’s itching to go faster, it makes me want to kick him or if he’s not within kicking distance then throw something at him, especially when he stays just a little ahead of me and he could easily just slow down a step or two.  (I love him and wouldn’t actually kick him but I do imagine it when he’s sprinting around and I’m gagging for air going no where near as fast)

Post # 6
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Yeah you’re allowed!!
I’m doing my first 10k and Darling Husband was supposed to do it with me. He has ran half marathons before, but it was supposed to be a thing we do together to get me through my first race.. Well he couldn’t resist a challenge and decided to run the half marathon instead.
So now I run my race alone, and he runs only the next day so the whole weekend is about races that we’re not doing together…

aarrrrgghh!
I feel your pain! Good for you for registering for all the other races for training though, I’m sure you’ll be awesome!

Post # 8
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

I think since it is a race, everyone should do their best. So I don’t think it is odd that he wants to beat his previous PR.

You can always make a friend or two at the starting line or randomly during the race. Runners are mostly friendly, and I’m sure there will be others there like you. But running by yourself is good. At the end you’ll know that you ran 4 miles because of you, not because your bf dragged you along.

Also, I don’t bring a phone, even to big races. Just set a designated meeting spot for after the race.  I have never had a problem finding my people after a race. And since he will finish before you, he can look for you and cheer you into the finish line.

Post # 9
Member
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I’m training for a half marathon right now and the farthest I’ve run before was a 10K last year. I’m like you– I was not a runner till 2008 when I decided to join my BF(now husband). He’s the runner. When we first started running together I would try to keep up with him… to the point where I would almost throw up on the crazy hills he ran. Now that I’ve run more on my own, I have my own dang pace and he can just do what he wants.

In my case though, he’s “done” with his running days, so he’s my coach and runs slow with me these days, but I had to run the 10K all by myself. The friend I was running with had a faster pace than me, so i feel ya. I looked at scenery a lot!

Mantra help– I keep track of miles as much as possible. Like, yeah go me, 2 miles down! yeah look! I’m halfway done! OMG I only have x miles left– I can totally do it. etc. I have a rockin playlist and i keep it fresh with my fave upbeat and dance tracks. Glee is a current front runner. 🙂 Running for me is not about how fast I can run, its about running farther than I thought i could. 

Also, think about getting an arm band for your phone like others have said. 🙂

GOOD LUCK girl!

 

Post # 10
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

i agree w/ jacqi – you can set a spot to meet and you’ll have a designated cheering squad at the end!

Post # 11
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery

aww I am sorry I know how hard it can be to stay motivated on your own…I am thinking that you will fdo better than you expect because you will have other runners beside you pushing you to keep going….I can’t say I’ve run too much, but when I did my first 5K I set my eyes on a couple people at my pace and made it a goal to keep with them or even pass them…it really pushed me through to the end. 

Post # 13
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yay!  Congratulations!  There is nothing like finishing a race!  Well done!

Post # 14
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Congrats!  Thanks for coming back and posting how you did!

Post # 15
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Congratulations on finishing your race!  That is awesome.  Good luck in your half marathon relay 

Post # 16
Member
2820 posts
Sugar bee

Congrats!  Sounds like you had a really good day!

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