(Closed) Running out of patience with FMIL

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly- You can’t! The person has to want to change for it to work. She will figure it out eventually- or will just have to buy a dress without losing weight.

Post # 5
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

Are you asking about the dress because you want to go shopping with her? Honestly she can go out the night before the wedding and buy a dress so I would just drop this.

Post # 6
Member
46613 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You already know that this is her problem not yours. No one can motivate someone else to get healthy. They have to reach a point at which they motivate themselves.

When she talks about losing weight or exercising, just tell her that you love her and will be happy to have her at the wedding and as your Mother-In-Law whether she is a size 2 or a 22.

Post # 8
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@runninginpink: Ugh, that would annoy me. I’d just say “No, you look great now” in the most unconvincing tone ever haha.

Post # 9
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would respond with “You know we are always here to support you, so if there is anything you need let us know.” As far as the dress goes, does your mom have her dress? I would go with your mom to get her dress and then when Future Mother-In-Law asks say yes, she didn’t want to be stressed trying to find one so close to the wedding, maybe that would light a fire under her to either loose the weight or buy a dress.

Post # 10
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, I mean moms can typically buy their dresses pretty much right off the rack, so you’re definitely not in crunch time.  Her comments are annoying, but soon enough she’ll realize that she can’t have nothing to wear to the wedding, and she’ll just buy something.  Don’t stress yourself.

Post # 11
Member
662 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@runninginpink: that would be really annoying. I work with a guy who always says he needs to loose weight- but then goes and gets McDonalds for lunch. I bascially just do what you said you’re doing- I just reply with an Ok or something similar.

Post # 12
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

Why should you try and motivate her? It doesn’t sound like she’s asking you to help her lose weight, so why worry about it? She won’t go naked and has plenty of time.

This is her problem to deal with- or not. It makes someone feel worse if the well intentioned helpers keep pushing.

If you think it might help, the next time she mentions losing weight tell her you know of a pretty easy way to do it. Don’t eat anything white, as in (bread,pasta,potatoes,rice). Pretty easy to do and it works. She just might surprise you.

Post # 13
Member
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

You need to let your Future Mother-In-Law manage her own weight and dress herself. I mean, really. What she wears to your wedding and how she feels on that day is entirely her choice. I’m not sure if you’re bringing up the dress or if she is, but if you are, stop. Immediately.

sorry, read closer. Sounds like she’s putting this on you. When she makes comments like that just smile and say she will find a beautiful dress no matter what. Or just change the subject? 

Post # 14
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@runninginpink: OMG do we have the same FMIL????  I hear the EXACT same thing from my Future Mother-In-Law. LOL

Honestly, I don’t even pay attention when she starts on that.  She can wear whatever she wants quite frankly, she’s not going to be in all the pictures, and I think she looks fine as she is.  I trust her taste so I’m sure she’ll look nice too.  She’ll break down eventually and just get a dress.  I’m thinking your Future Mother-In-Law will do the same.

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