Post # 16
Do what you feel is right! I am 21, FH is 22 and we have been dating since my junior year in HS. A lot of people think we are too young to be getting married (I graduate April 30, wedding Nov 19). And then I tell them what I think– “We are luckier than a lot of people that we found each other in life when we did. It just means we have longer time to spend together.” Half the time people find a problem with something just for the sake of making an issue, and the other time it’s because they are jerks. Seriously, do what YOU want and is right for YOUR children. People will adapt. GL!
Post # 17
We certainly haven’t set a date or anything. THAT, would be rushing, IMO. He just brought it up and I was tossing it around in my head and thought I’d ask.
I’m not really too used to the “rules” of dating/engagement/marriage. I got pregnant young, engaged young and knew I couldn’t handle both at age 17 so I broke off the engagement (good thing too). The second engagement was to my second son’s father and he was really great. Our relationship was text book (besides the baby before marriage part). It was his family that tore us apart (think, wayyyy overbearing siblings that didn’t want to believe he was an adult).
My mom and step dad have been together for 8 years and engaged for 7 of those.
My two older brothers have been married and divorced (both were less than ideal circumstances). Neither of them work now, and have done nothing with their lives.
Then there’s me…I have been living on my own since age 18 raising my kids pretty much alone. I am mature far beyond my years. I’m just one of those people who likes to have advice on every big move I make. I like to think things through long before they happen. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for spontaneity but I like my “safe” life lol. And well, the boyfriend gets that. He understands me more than anyone else ever could and a lot of that is because we have known each other for quite a while. It just feels so different with him. I know it’s early but he has my heart.
Thanks everyone for the input!!
Post # 18
Does your Boyfriend or Best Friend live with you and your children? If so, I don’t think it would be rushing to get married a little over a year from now.
If not, do you plan on moving in together before the wedding or after?
Post # 19
Do what’s right for your kids, then what’s right for you 🙂 Do THEY know this man very well or do they only have about 3 months of experience with him? If your kids need some time to get to know their future step-dad, do it for them. If this truly is the man you want to be with forever, and it sounds like it is, then there’s plenty of time. I know that you want forever to start ASAP, but you have your kids to think about too.
Make sure that he also gets used to the kids, because that’s a huge adjustment for anyone, regardless of age/current kids/anything else. Give everyone some more time to adjust, get to know each other, become friends, hang out, you name it, THEN consider tying the knot. Good luck to you!!!!!
Post # 20
Right now we do not live together. He spends the day here every Wednesday and stays from Friday til Sunday night every week. We are looking for a place big enough right now. I’d like to have a place together by July or August.
The kids absolutely adore him! My oldest has known him for as long as I have. My youngest came along after he moved away but those two are very close already. If it weren’t for the kids, I’d marry him tomorrow! Honestly! But I always put them first….They need time to adjust to having a man around all the time (I’ve been a single mom for a very long time).
He is adjusting well to them. He has offered to watch them while I work (we work different shifts) but I feel it’s too soon to throw that on him. He treats them great and relates to them very well, I’m just hesitant because they are very busy so it’s a lot to take in lol.
Once we have our place together, that will be the true test, I believe. By that, I don’t mean financially or anything, I mean emotionally and mentally. This is my life, I’m used to getting up in the middle of the night to a sick/crying kid or cancelling plans because a sitter feel through or what have you. He isn’t entirely used to that, yet. We will get there though :-).
Post # 21
You two seem to know each other well, and of course you plan on actually marrying at the 1.5 year mark so that gives you time to make sure, although I think you should be 100% sure before you say yes rather than say yes to getting engaged and seeing how things play out.
My brother and his wife got engaged after only 3 months and married at 5 months. She was from Laos and had been divorced from a huge jerk within the past year and had it in her head she was going to move back to Laos, but their coworkers set my brother up with her and so he knew she wanted to settle down and get married and not have to date for a long time – he had just gotten out of a close relationship with a girlfriend who had a baby from a previous boyfriend – so they both had family making on the mind and didn’t want to waste time. They were married in March and had their baby October of the same year! When you know what you want and are honest about communicating it to each other, I think it can work out great, even if it does seem rushed. Just make sure it is what you want! 🙂