Post # 17
TPHoliday, both those ideas are brilliant.
Cheerful, great idea as well and a really easy conversation to set-up.
I am so bad at keeping a poker face that he typically can read me like a book so I was stressing about how to not spill the beans.
Post # 18
I’m sure the photographers are all really professional; I just don’t think I would feel comfortable with a male photog for a boudoir shoot. And I also don’t think that my Fiance would feel comfortable with it either. I think it would ruin the coolness of the pictures for him.
Post # 19
I was suprised by all the responses that you should see if your Fiance will care. Quite frankly, I don’t think he will think of who took the pictures when he sees them. It’s not like you found an random guy in a bar to do them. My Fiance would be happy to have such photos (he’s requested them already) and I can’t see him resenting a man for taking them.
I agree with EJS, you wear a bikini on the beach which is not so different. It’s not like you are going to have a relationship with the photographer and I assume men have seen you in your underwear before, at least a doctor or ex-boyfriend.
Post # 20
I know my guy would not feel good if I had a male photographer. I probably wouldn’t mind (a professional is a professional) but if the situation was reversed, I’m not sure I would be comfortable with Fiance having a female photographer, so I can understand that.
Some people honestly don’t care, though. So I’d either check with him or go with a female photog to be safe. Just me.
Post # 21
Oh, one other thing… I could see a difference in a male wedding photographer and a boudoir session. Yes, a boudoir photographer should be completely professional, and any well-established professional will not cross the boundary lines. But a boudoir session is often you, the photog, and a hotel room. I can see how that’s way different from a wedding photographer, the bride, and a roomful of other people.
Post # 22
I haven’t read what the others said yet but I’m gonna be doing them for a wedding present. I personally didn’t feel comfortable with having a male but if you don’t get embarrassed like I do you’ll be fine, as long as he does good work. And the only question I asked was, “these aren’t going to end up anywhere else… right?” Like I didn’t want them on her website or some other publication! She said unless I signed a consent form she wouldn’t put them anywhere.
Post # 23
I did mine with a male photographer, and it was a great experience. Not awkward at all. I did bring along a friend, mostly to help with outfits and calm my nerves. My husband didn’t even ask once he saw the photos. Then again, I don’t think he would mind either way.
Post # 24
I know this thread is old-ish, but I thought I’d add my 2 cents anyway!
Personally, I wouldn’t even be able to do the session if it were with a male photog. As-is, I’m going with a friend who is a budding photog, and looking for someone to be her first boudoir model. I don’t mind being a guinea pig here, since I know she takes great photos, and I value the comfort factor so much!
Post # 25
I wouldn’t mind as long as the photog’s a pro of course. However, if I caught wind that Fiance would mind, I’d go with a woman.
Post # 26
I’m sure the photog would be professional but I’d feel more inhibited and therefore the photos would come out less good. For my B-pics I felt so comfortable with my female photog that I ended up doing some semi-nudes and Fiance enjoyed those the most. No way I’d have done that with a male photog. I also would be too embarrassed to do sexy faces and poses, I’d feel like I was trying to seduce him. With another woman it was just “play model for a day” with a lot of laughs.
Post # 27
I think a lot also has to do with how “established” the male photog is. Booking off CL? Hell No I wouldn’t strip in-front of him to any form of my undergarments! “Great deal” or “budget photog” I honestly wouldn’t trust. There are a LOT of creepy dudes out there with cameras… some are not very “professional” even though they are in “business.” I know a few in my area that there is no way I would put myself in that situation with.
Post # 28
I didn’t vote because I don’t plan to take boudoir pics, but my Fiance was very against it when I brought it up. I was actually pretty surprised he had that reaction and we’ve ben together for 5 years. I really thought he would like it. Definitely use some of the great ideas you got above to find out what your Fiance thinks.
Post # 29
Hi everyone. I know this is a rather old post, but I just wanted to jump in and offer an opinion, from a male photographer.
First, yes you must be comfortable with the photographer. In my case, my wife (of 25 years) is my assistant so that might be a little different from a client’s perspective.
As far as images being used by photographers. Each state is a little different, and I am no lawyer, so be sure to check with one if you have questions. In most places, photographers own the copyright to any image taken. However, there is also something called a right to publication. This does not allow the photographer (again in most states) to publish photos of anyone who can be recognized without permission. We provide our clients with a shoot agreement. In it, it lays out the basics of the shoot, time etc, and also states in it that we can not and will not publish in anyway the images of our clients, unless they specifically give us the permission to do so. The images we use for publicity were specifically shot for that reason and the ladies in the images provided realeses to us to use the images and knew before the shoot took place that we would want to use them. If your photographer does not have a shoot agreement and something that is signed by both of you that the images will not be used anywhere else, I would look for another phtographer.
I can tell you that after doing this for years, honestly, we are focused very hard on making really good images. We are focusing on lighting, angles, what is showing up in the background behind you. A true professional photographer cares only that you are relaxed and comfortable. Nervousness shows up in images. We often encourage our clients to bring a friend to help with her posing (we guide, friend can help make adjustments) or wardrobe. We like to have our client’s favorite music playing in the background. We encourage all of our clients to hire a professional make up artist. Be papmered that day. It is all part of the process of relaxing and creating beautiful images.
I am not going to attempt to equate photographers and doctors, but you can think of this in a similar fashion. To a real professional, the shoot is much like you going to the doctor. This is what we do and there really is no shock factor, no gawking, no comments. If that happens at a shoot you have booked, simply end the shoot. Our goal is to make your FI’s jaw drop when he receives the book or prints.
Hope this gives you all a little perspective from a photographer.
Post # 30
Something to keep in mind: a professional is a professional. They will not be ogling your semi-nude body; they’ll be looking for the most flattering lighting and angles. HTH! 🙂
Post # 31
I totally respect your point of view and I have 100% confidence that from your perspective it would be no big thing. But I think a lot of guys would disagree. Men are not always rational when it comes to jealousy. From my FI’s perspective he would be unhappy about me getting all dolled up and half nekkid in front of another man. Rational or not. 🙂