(Closed) SABOTAGE the wedding?? WHAT!!!!!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

honestly I can’t really follow what’s going on, but I think it’s ridiculous you’d make someone sit in the car.  What’s the big deal? My sister’s nanny is coming to the  wedding to care for my nephew, and sitting at the table with the rest of the bridal party – what’s the big deal? It’s one person that will allow the day to run much smoother for everyone.

Post # 6
Member
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

She only has ten people coming to the wedding. They’ve had to cut most of their family and friends in order to keep it that small. So now her Future Sister-In-Law is insisting that her nanny be included in this small gathering? That’s ridiculous. Either the mom can take care of her own kids for one day, or the kids can stay with the nanny and not come to the wedding. I would be irate if my friends couldn’t come to my wedding, but a nanny absolutely had to be there.

Post # 8
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Cantstartafire1:  

 

After reading this post and your other post

 

I think that crazy person has just earned the right to be uninvited.

 

No one should EVER say or threaten anything even similar to sabatoge. As for your other decisions, I agree wholeheartedly. I would not want this random person invited to our very intimate ceremony where as a ton of other people would not be invited whom I am very close too.

 

 

Though staying in the car does seem a bit odd. Is there a way, they can have a private room of some sort?

Post # 9
Member
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@MrsWBS:  I thought the same thing til I read the last thread. 10 people is a very small wedding. I would not want a total stranger there either!

Post # 10
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@cmbr:  +1, exactly!! The other bees that posted “what’s the big deal etc” obviously didn’t read the other post.

@Cantstartafire1: Geez she sounds like a nightmare. I would just tell her to leave if she pulls any shit.

Post # 11
Member
652 posts
Busy bee

@MrsWBS:  

@Cantstartafire1:  I think correct me if I’m wrong, but I think what the OP meant to say is because they both have to cut so many people out of the wedding, if the people found out this nanny who is not close to the couple shows up at this wedding, other people might get upset and ask why aren’t they invited when they see this stranger show up to the wedding?

Post # 12
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@cmbr:  Ok, glad you cleared up this post – for anyone who didn’t read the previous one, it does sound like the OP is being unreasonable. But she’s actually not. I agree that it’s weird to have the nanny sit in the car, though. I would have just said to let the nanny stay at home or in a hotel room nearby, not in the car. That’s a little inhumane. 

OP, it sounds like you need to talk to her and suggest she not bring the kids, and have the nanny watch them during the wedding. Which is kind of her job, ya know. I’m sure the mom needs a night away from her kids – if you put it like that, she might come around. 

If she’s still being unreasonable, cut her from the list, and invite someone who you actually want there. I doubt she’s going to sabotage your wedding. People say crazy $hit when they get worked up. If you’re that concerned, you might have to look into having someone at the door to keep an eye out. 

Post # 13
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I get she sounds like at total nightmare, but sometimes we have to just be the bigger person and give in to something to make it less stressful for ourselves!  I just don’t think the stress and drama is worth it.  I’ve had to make many many concessions I did not want to make throughtout my planning process. I understand it sucks having to give in to someone you don’t like, but sometimes that’s jsut what you have to do. 

Post # 16
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I agree that the car thing seems insane. 

BUT, you aren’t the one putting her in that position. You and your FH are not responsible for how the Nanny spends the day. I’m assuming that your Future Sister-In-Law and her husband were given ample time to make arrangements. So, whether she stays at the hotel, sits in the car, or stays at freaking home is your Future Sister-In-Law and her husband’s decision. It’s on their heads and their hands. Not yours and your FH’s.

Not to mention, at this point, no matter how this plays out, it is going to be a bit stressful. Either you’ll have to deal with a grumpy Future Sister-In-Law, or you’ll have someone there who you understandably don’t want (thus, you’ll end up being a grumpy bride!).

Neither option is ideal, but it’s pretty much unavoidable. So, I say, let your Future Sister-In-Law be a petulant child about it. You and your FH just concentrate on enjoying your day the way YOU envisioned it!

 

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