Post # 1
I’m in such a funk lately and I just need to talk it out. I’m 99% certain I will be getting proposed to on this upcoming Saturday. My boyfriend has made it so obvious without even realizing it and i’m so exited to be getting engaged to the man I love but the closer we get to Saturday the more upset I become. My grandmother was my absolute best friend and we used to talk about my future wedding together all the time, she passed away a little over a year ago at such a young age after fighting a really really agressive cancer for only 8 months. It was so hard on me being that she was one of my best friends. We did everything together and I spent more time with her and talking to her than I did my girlfriends. Everytime a big event comes up in my life it hits me hard because she’s not here to celebrate with me. Once I realized her prognosis wasn’t getting any better we went and bought a wedding planner and a guest book for her to sign and help start the process of planning with me which is a memory I hold so dear to my heart. This alone is a lot for me to handle but then last week I get a call from my mother informing me that she’s been dealing with a serious on going health concern for the last couple months that’s not getting better so the doctors have decided she needs surgery which has been scheduled for this upcoming Friday. My boyfriend told me that both of our parents would be there to celebrate with us after the proposal and with my mom recovering from surgery there’s no way she’ll be joining us on Saturday. Because of this I feel like i’ve been making excuses to not want to go out on Saturday and it’s just put me in such a funk.
We have an activity planned for Saturday about an hour and a half from where we live that we’ve already purchased tickets for..I feel like such a brat but i’m already having a hard time with my grandmother not being here for this next big step in my life, and now my mother will be recovering from a surgery I just don’t want to be that far away from my family when the proposal happens, and to top it all off it’s supposed to rain Saturday and our activity is an outdoor activity…
I just needed to vent this out since i’ve been crying about it all day.
Any kind words would be much appreciated..
Post # 2
Oh bee. I’m sorry about your loss of your grandmother 🙁 and my mom had surgery recently and it was very emotional and nerve-wracking for me, so I understand your feelings.
Could you perhaps stay with your mom on Friday night after her surgery? And cancel your plans for the weekend since you’re worried about your mom? I really don’t blame you at all for being upset
Maybe you could speak with your bf about your feelings- I’m sure he would understand.
No matter how and when he proposes, I’m sure it will be special. And if he sees how concerned you are, maybe he will take your feelings into account and do it another time?
If it’s important to you that your parents are all there to celebrate, I would think he will reschedule. He probably doesn’t realize your mom won’t be ready the next day for that. Or if it doesn’t matter and you just want to be engaged, he could ask you really whenever and it will be special, you know?
I know you’re in a funk, but try to remember: amidst the darkness now, a good thing is about to happen: your love is going to ask you to be with him forever! And I’m sure it will help your mom with recovery having something to look forward to! Cherish those memories with your grandma and try to make the best of this time ❤️
Post # 3
I think if it means a lot to you, then you should subtly tell your boyfriend that it’s important to you for your mom to be there when he proposes. However, you have to accept that you might be ruining some of his existing plans by telling him, and gauge if you’re okay with disappointing him. Did he know that having them there for the proposal was important to you before now? Just talk to him!
Post # 4
lynnnie : He does know it’s important to me and he confirmed that they will be there. The surgery is really personal to my mom so I havent told him the extent of it so I don’t think he understands that she wont be up for it the next day. I know her surgery would be on a friday so I told him before we knew it was this friday that If her surgery happens to be the day before we get engaged I’d like to make sure she can still be part of it..i’m hoping he reschedules it but i’m walking the fine line between telling him I know it’s coming up and not being in a good mood when it happens.
Post # 5
introester : I’m so sorry for your loss and that you’re having to deal with these difficult emotions that big life events can bring up. I lost my grandma and grandpa over 10 years ago when I was 14, and like you I was very close with them growing up. I’m getting married in two months and I am devastated that she and my grandpa won’t be able to be here with me physically. But I do know that they will be watching over me as they always are. Please know that your grandma is, too. There are things you can do to honor her along the way that should help you to enjoy those happy times- I am reserving two front row seats at my wedding in my grandparents’ honor and having a memory table for them as well. For your mom, she will be happy for you no matter when you get engaged! I would maybe talk with your fiance about not proposing until she’s better, but otherwise please try to enjoy the happy moments as they come. It can actually be theraputic.
Post # 6
I remember hoping my fiancé wouldn’t propose to me in front of his family when we went out of state to visit, because I felt bad my family wouldn’t be there too. I was relived when he didn’t. After the proposal I told him my silly thought, and he told me there was no way he would include only his family members, which is why he proposed alone. Perhaps your fiancé is taking your mom’s recovery into consideration, and is postponing his proposal. He probably can’t refund his tickets, which is why you’re still attending the event. If your mom was supposed to attend, mention to him how sad you are she won’t be there too. I imagine he’s already taken your mom into consideration, especially since your grandmother won’t be there.
Post # 7
neverbeenstungbee : lynnnie : missmollybee : bearinabeecostume : Just a quick update for you ladies! My mother’s surgery has been postponed so she will not be having it on Friday which means if the engagement happens this weekend she can still be there!
Thanks for your kind words.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2017 - Orange County, CA
introester : I’m glad to hear that your mum will be able to celebrate with you! I just wanted to drop in and add that you shouldn’t beat yourself up (you’re not being a brat) for feeling overwhelmed!