(Closed) Sacrifices to be together?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

Well, I don’t know if you could call it a sacrifice, but the town/state I live in is NOT where I want to live for any long period of time. However, the man is planning to do graduate school (probably 5+ years) here, so we will be staying. The reason I’m not calling this a sacrifice is that it never crossed my mind NOT to stay. I’m happy being here, with him. We’re comfortable and have a nice home together.

Post # 4
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well, it isn’t exactly a huge sacrifice, but definitely one that involved more of a compromise on my part…  when I moved in with him, it meant an hour-long commute to work, plus I’m a little out of place in the small town we live in.  (I posted about it here just a couple days ago, coincidentally!)  It’s all worth it, though– like marquisemiss, I don’t see it as a real sacrifice since I get what I want: him.

If it had been anyone else, there’s no way I would’ve moved.  My view out my former front door was this:

 

[attachment=130663,4696]

Post # 5
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

oops, sorry it’s so huge!

Post # 6
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes!  The first four years of our relationship was a sacrifice for both of us!  We were long distance for four years and took turns driving the 3 hours to be with each other.  It was a drain but worth it in the end.  I eventually moved to Boston to be with him.  This wasn’t exactly a sacrifice since I am from the area and have plenty of friends here.

He made a sacrifice for me last year when he was applying for medical residencies.  One of the programs that he loved was in St. Louis and I really did not want to move there (no family, friends, harder place to find a job).  I didn’t ask him to give up that dream, but he decided it would be best for me to stay in Boston.  I was prepared to make the sacrifice of moving with him, though, if necessary.

Post # 7
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I will most likely raise children, & die in another country.  I’ll be 6000 miles away from my sisters.  It’s really rough some days- like today. 

Post # 8
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I did move in order to be with him, but I don’t really consider it a sacrifice.  I moved back to the town where I grew up, so my parents are here, and a lot of friends too.  I do miss where I lived before, but that’s okay.  I never considered taking a lesser job in order to move back here – it just seems like doing anything that compromises your financial position, especially in times like these, is not the best idea.  It took me a little while to find a job, so our relationship was long distance for a while, but in the end things lined up so that I had all my moving expenses (including realtor’s fees) paid, plus make significantly more money.  And Darling Husband always said that the distance didn’t matter, we would make it work.  Which was smart of him – because I would never be with anyone who thought it was a great idea for me to seriously compromise my career for our relationship.  Although I never considered doing the long-distance thing long-term, I also believe that if your relationship is meant to last, a temporary separation is not going to end it.

I do actually (and often) think about taking on his kids as a sacrifice.  Not that they aren’t great kids, but they weren’t raised anything like I was, and it’s often hard for me to understand them.  Plus, for the next three years, a huge chunk of his salary goes towards paying their college tuition – which means that the expenses of actually supporting all of us are primarily mine.  Luckily we both make enough money that our lifestyle is perfectly acceptable, but it’s not anywhere near what it would be without that expense. It’s an interesting way to start a marriage, to say the least. 

Post # 9
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’m sort of making a sacrifice, tho I don’t really think of it that way. I’m from Nashville, never lived anywhere but TN, AL, and GA, never even been west of Arkansas till vacation last month, etc. And I’m now moving to Denver becasue that’s where the job offer he got is. And we’ll be moving every year to three years from here on out. Which could be good (we’re angling for Hawaii!), or really bad (no Canada! Too cold!). I’m also very very very close to my mom, so moving so far is a big deal.

But I don’t think of it as a sacrifice for our love, tho some might see it that way. I wanted him to take the job. It’s an incredible opportunity, *great* money, etc. So I’m happy about it. And maybe we’ll get moved somewhere cool! 🙂

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