(Closed) Sad about changing last name :o(

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I was sad too.  I think in hindsight waiting would have been a good option, but we had bought a new car, and I needed to get license plates, so I got it done about 6 weeks after the wedding.  I am still a little sad.  I have four names (no hyphen), and you might want to consider that- then your maiden would still be a part of your name in a way and it can be used or not as you decide.  The big drawback is most people don’t respect that your name is what you choose.  I go by my maiden name at work (no problem whatsoever), but in the rest of my life, I go by Myfirst MyMaiden MyLast, but people almost always leave out my maiden name.  If you’re having a hard time, waiting is an option.  It’s much easier to wait and change it later than change it and change it back.

Post # 33
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m sad about it,too. We are compromising and adding his last name to mine with a hyphen but honestly I did not want to! I’m still going ot use my last name only on my business cards!

Post # 34
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@starry, I had the same issues.  I’m Italian, have a very unique last name, and no one to carry the name on.  I decided to be hyphenated.  My Darling Husband was not too thrilled with that, but I wanted to take his name while still keeping my super awesome last name that I love so much.  I just couldn’t give it up, but I really wanted to take his.  My only option was to be hyphenated. 

Post # 36
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I was sad to give it up…that’s for sure, but my new one is growing on me.  Plus, all the guys at work still refer to me by my maiden name, so I still get to here it alot!

Post # 37
Member
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I just recently started to feel a little sad about it as well. It is very bittersweet.

Post # 38
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’ve legally changed my name. I also was sad about it, my maiden name was VERY Greek and 15 letters long, my new name doesn’t sound as ethnic and its only 5 letters. Its very important to me though to share the same last name as my husband, and since I already have a middle name, I didn’t want a 2nd middle name. So yes, it is bittersweet! I am getting more used to it though, and I love my new initials:)

Post # 39
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m always so confused when I see posts like this, because you don’t HAVE to change your name. If it makes you sad…don’t do it! You won’t be less of a family. You will not have problems picking your kids up from school. You will still be married.

Post # 40
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I feel sad about losing my name as well!  At first, I was excited because my name is really common, but the more I think about it, the weirder I feel losing it.  I had told Fiance that since we’ll be married before I get a Dr. before my name, I’d definitely change it…but I’m seriously considering at least keeping it as my professional name.  I’d change it to my middle name but I actually like my middle name and don’t want to lose it either.

This may stem from the fact that FI’s last name is often mispronounced as a part of male anatomy haha.

Post # 41
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I feel the same way.  I have a great Irish name and FI’s last name is so generic.  My sister and I am also the end of the name so I feel bad about that too.  My dad and I were teasing Fiance that he should take my last name instead.  The only good part is my last name has an ‘ in it and to be honest it is a pain in the @ss, as atleast I get to get rid of this stupid ‘ !  It gets mixed up in computers all the time, sometimes they include it, sometimes they drop it, I have even had it where they have drop the the letter in front of the ‘ and the ‘.  I am looking forward to not having to deal with that anymore.

Post # 42
Member
379 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My name is very long and pretty sounding I think, it is also very norweigan so I always get asked that.  I love my last name but I am looking forward to changing my name and starting a family with my husband.  His last name is also very ethnic and it is an ethnicity that I am obviously not, so it will be fun to confuse people.

Post # 43
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

@Jillbean:

I totally agree!  I don’t get it – why would you embrace something that made you feel a sense of loss and a sense of sadness?  The tradition is there because it was a transfer of property and so the bride now was stamped with the last name of the man that kind of owned her, at least legally.  It’s not like its a sweet tradition steeped in love or something, lol.

I don’t know, it’s confusing for me.  If you look forward to doing it and want to do it than more power to you!  I took his last name when I married my ex.  But if it were to make me feel sad or there were no boys to carry on my family name I would just not change it.  It isn’t legally required and the tradition isn’t a terribly flattering one for women so I don’t think not partaking in it makes you less of a family or less of a loving wife – I say if you have doubts or it makes you sad then don’t do it or hold off!  The bottom line is it’s your choice!  Do what makes you feel good!

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