(Closed) Sad about leaving home and a little worried about newlywed life

posted 11 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@blondebride83: Although I’m not in your position, I am having the exact same feelings…just in different ways. I’m sad about not having my old last name for instance–which is so dumb, I never even thought about it until 2 months before my wedding day.

You will definitely bump heads with anyone you live with but living with your SO is easier since you love them so much going into it. My Fiance can leave a towel on the ground and it won’t bother me as much as if a room mate were to do the same. I am much more calm and paitent with him than anyone else.

I do think its normal to feel this whether you have lived with your parents or have lived by yourself. I lived with my fiance for about 6 months but then we had to end up moving into my parents guest house so we could pay for our wedding…but when we get married we will have to get our own place again. I’m nervous about leaving the comfort of a NICE house, and moving into a dump (okay maybe not a dump but not as nice as my parents home), I’m nervous about being in a small home vs. where we are living now because I can actually have my alone time while we’ve been living here (since its spacious)…and I’ve really grown respect and appreciation for my parents since I’ve moved back. I’ve become so close with them so it will be hard moving out instantly…

I get what you are feeling, I’m sure so many other brides do too!

 

 

Post # 18
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh and I agree with KristaBayBay I definitely would put make-up on all the time when I first started living with my Fiance…or I would brush my teeth four times a day, it was so ridiculous. I out grew that fast 🙂

Post # 19
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@blondebride83:

So long as you’re prepared for there to be difficult times, then you’ll be fine! I’ve lived with my SO for 5 years now and, looking back, it took 2 years for us to really work out how to live with each other. I doubt it takes most couples this long 🙂

Post # 20
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

@blondebride83: I started feeling the same way!  I will be moving in with my Fiance in a few months and it seems scary, but I talked with him and he helped me feel better.  He gave me my space and some time to think about it.  I moved away for college and came back when I was student teaching.  I feel it helps you move away, but it doesn’t prepare you to live with your life partner.  It helps me a lot that I get to spend weekends with him a lot where it is just the two of us.  Good luck with this and I hope you feel better!

Post # 21
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As much as it’ll help to find time away from the apartment, find a way to make yourself a part of it. It sounds like a small apartment, so I know space is an issue, but if you can make certain areas yours, it’ll help you feel more like you belong there. Find a way to decorate together that will make you enjoy the space cohesively.

Post # 22
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I moved out with my Fiance last june. We weren’t engaged yet or anything, and I had already lived on my own in residence away at school for four years, but I STILL felt homesick when I left my parents again.

It did take some getting used to and a lot of compromise before we felt comfortable living with one another. I think that’s the same for every couple though, since a lot of men and women are so completely different.

Just keep in mind that your feelings are normal! I am definitely a homebody, and am very close to my family. I go home to hang out with my parents at least a couple of times a week and usually talk to them on the phone for a few minutes almost every day. My Fiance knows me very well and respects the way I am.

Also, everything turned out okay! I love living with him now, and I get the best of both worlds; I get to sleep with him every night but still maintain a great relationshop with my family.

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