(Closed) Sad about the engagement… That's coming next week!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
485 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like you guys have a great relationship, but all the hype about a proposal may have both of you stressed (you by waiting, him by the pressure of making it a surprise).  I know my Fiance was really worried about it not being “special” enough.  I told him multiple times that any proposal will be special because it’ll mean I get to marry the love of my life.  Ultimately, he proposed at home on a random Saturday night without any flair, and it was still perfect (and I was actually surprised!).

My recommendation for now would be to take your mind off of it in some way, maybe come up with a new hobby, New Year’s resolution, or plan a trip or something that you can consume your thoughts for a while.

Post # 17
2989 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Even though DH made me wait 5 years, he proposed the day the ring arrived in the mail! The only thing was that he lied to me and told me he was signing for an Outer Limits DVD set intstead, so I didn’t realize he had it. 😛

He says he doesn’t get why so many men do what yours is doing, where they think you’ll forget about this huge life-altering thing if it’s hidden in a sock drawer for six months. He blames movies on men overthinking proposals, though DH kept it simple and spontaneous, which I appreciated! 

Hopefully, this will all be behind you soon and you’ll both laugh about how silly he was in a couple of years. 

Post # 18
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Poor guy. It’s his proposal too, and he probably had a plan he was excited about. He’s told you when it’s happening and you’re still soul-destroyingly sad? He probably thinks, “We bought the ring together. You know I’m proposing. Be patient and let me do this the way I want to.” Especially now that he’s even told you when it’s happening. If I were him, I imagine after a few conversations I’d want to just hand you the ring and say, “Are you happy now?” It sounds like waiting has been unpleasant for both of you and he wants to propose in a special way so it doesn’t feel like the fighting about proposing forced his hand. 

Post # 19
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

View original reply
silkybutterbee:  I agree.

It wasn’t until I got engaged and joined this site that I realized SO many women pick out their own rings and then, often sadly or angrily, sit back and wait for a proposal. In my opinion, it can’t truly be both ways. It can’t be some crazy romantic surprise proposal when you already know about the ring. It’s completely fine if both people want to pick out the ring together and discuss an engagement, but it seems like people are trying to have the best of both worlds and that never seems to work well.

He already has the ring. To me, that means you’re basically already engaged. Just wait. 

If you feel like your soul is crushed and you’re as upset as you’ve described, I worry whether a ring will fix that. 

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