Post # 1
Is it normal to get super depressed right before your wedding?
I have about a week and a half to go and I’ve suddenly lost all interest and motivation. I have a million little things to do, but it’s been such a challenge to get myself to do anything. I don’t feel excited or even stressed. All I want to do is watch TV 🙁
The one thing that has me feeling actually sad is my honeymoon. I’m still in school. When we got engaged we were hoping I would be done with my degree by the time of the wedding, but I had to transfer schools when my fiance’s job moved and some clerical errors put me pretty far behind. So I’m taking half a week off for the wedding, but any more isn’t really do-able. We decided early on that we would postpone the honeymoon until next year, then, so we could do it during a break and have a chance to save up a little extra money after the wedding and make it extra nice.
Last night, my fiance noticed I was a little out of it so he tried to cheer me up by bringing up where I might want to go on our honeymoon. After a bit of talking, it became clear that when my fiance said “next year” he meant December 2017. I had been under the impression next year meant January or March 2017. Apparently, January is out of the question because his brother and sister in law are expecting and we need to be ready to fly out to meet the baby. And, to him, a honeymoon is a big thing that shouldn’t be limited to my one-week spring break in March and he wants to wait until he gets his bonus in August next year so we can do something nice.
Bees, I know that this is such a silly thing to be sad over. But I feel like I’ve been planning this whole wedding for other people, the honeymoon was supposed to be the part where I actually got what I wanted. My father (who I’m not close to) even gifted us a large amount of money specifically to be used on the honeymoon, which I thought meant we’d get to go sooner than planned.
Is it even a honeymoon if you go a year+ after? Bees who had late honeymoons, tell me about your experience. Did it still feel special?
Post # 2
Aw, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. It sounds like you have a LOT going on, and it’s definitely a bummer to realize your big trip might be postponed.
I really really think you should plan something small for much sooner. A two or three day getaway or even a carefully planned staycation in March. It will give you something to look forward to, and give you a much needed breather.
As for honeymoon timing, my parents had a weekend away after their wedding, I went on a honeymoon right away, but other good friends waited a year to have the trip of their dreams and said it felt like they were newly married on that trip and they loved it that way. So honeymoon can be all in the eyes of the beholder 🙂
Post # 3
Yeah, we didn’t have our honeymoon until 9 months after our wedding. It was great. You have something to look forward to! It was still really special for us. You’ll still be a newlywed on your honeymoon! People still congratulated us, and all of our hotels still sent up little desserts and cakes to congratulate us on our wedding! It will be what you make it out to be!
Post # 4
a mini vacation is a good idea, thank you! The only trips we’ve been on in the past two and a half years has been to NY to visit his brother, so they’ve been pretty stressful (for me, at least) and not really vacations. I think I just need a real break…
I was really hoping someone would come and post something like you said. Thanks so much for that. Maybe having something to look forward to after the wedding will keep me excited and less prone to those “post wedding blues” I keep hearing about.
Post # 5
I dont know if we will even have a “proper” honeymoon. And if we will it will be 1+ after wedding. We just cant afford it plus I am completely out of paid vacation days at work till May 2017 becuase of the wedding. We decided we will go away for a weekend somewhere nice and quiet and then try to go on big vacation for 1 year anniversary.
Post # 6
Plan a mini moon somewhere just to get away for a few days together. You’re close enough to the wedding that you should get some great last minute deals, be open to where you can go and just give yourself a budget beforehand.
As for not feeling excited, I was not excited the week before our wedding. Like you, I’d mainly planned it for others. I wouldn’t worry too much, I think it makes it easier for you to switch off when you haven’t got everything done before the wedding and allows you to just accept it however the day turns out. Don’t worry you’re nearly there and then you get to be married.
Post # 7
We had a mini-moon (3-4 days) right after our wedding, and I got so sick that I spent most of it in the hotel room, so we’re definitely planning a re-do in the future. We wanted to have a longer honeymoon eventually anyway, and we’re also delaying it until after I’m done with grad school. It will probably end up being 3.5 years after the wedding.
So we’re not putting everything on hold for that trip; we’re still going to be taking a regular one-week beach vacation during spring break. Just because you’re saving money or vacation time for the big trip doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any sort of romantic getaways in the meantime.
So, will any of our trips ever count as a honeymoon? I don’t know, but we have plenty of travel to look forward to, and that’s ultimately what really matters.
Post # 8
we’re doing our honeymoon 6ish months after the wedding for all sorts of logistical reasons. but the days right after the wedding, we’re going on a mini-moon to be able to de-stress and have that special post-wedding vacay. maybe something like that could help cheer you up? then you can plan the big fancy honeymoon for after?
Post # 9
My fiances job is a demanding one where he couldn’t take off 2 weeks vacation or whatever. Our wedding is the Saturday before Christmas. He’s a pilot who just started on with this company and time off and holidays are all centered around seniority. So we knew he’d be working Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. That left us with wedding day (12/17) through the 23rd.
I really wanted to do something big for our honeymoon (I wanted to go to South Africa for 10-12 days) but he didn’t have the time available. We had originally planned to wait until the summer or sometime later (>6 months) after wedding but I thought about it and just didn’t feel good about waiting. I knew that though it’d be special and all, it just wouldn’t feel the same had we went right after getting married. So we ended up planning a trip to Cabo for just 4 nights in an all inclusive resort and we are sooooooo excited! Its a lot cheaper than South Africa too! We will have the rest of our life to do long vacations but we will only have that special time after wedding one time.
I would go somewhere, anywhere even if just for 3 days!
Post # 10
We stayed in a hotel for our wedding night. I had to go back to my job on Monday morning. We took our “honeymoon” a one week trip to Niagra Falls after we had 2 kids; our youngest was a year old.
Post # 11
Aw, sorry you’re feeling down! I had similar circumstances to yours and felt super bummed/burned out the week before the wedding. Like, was actually crying on DH about this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. We had a 1-day “mini-moon” in Morro Bay, CA, which was literally on our way home from SoCal, where we had it to accommodate the majority of our guests even though we lived near SF, after the wedding.
But we got to go on a proper honeymoon to Hawaii six months later and it was still amazing! I promise you, you will have a great time, even if you have been married awhile! Long, romantic vacations are rare, at least in my circle.
Post # 12
Well, I’m not married yet. However, we are doing our honeymoon next year due to not much time off left at work (and money). So, I am super excited even though I have no idea when next year it will happen. Yes it still is a honeymoon!!! 😀
Depending on our budget, we might spend a night or two somewhere else for what others are calling a mini moon! I only have 4 days of vacation to take by the time my wedding is here. So I too am a bit bummed that I can’t take a bunch of time off (I had planned on 2 weeks but I can’t now). See if you can go October next year?? It’s earlier and less busy than December I think!!
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek
We haven’t gotten married yet, but we will be having our honeymoon about a year after the wedding. That will give us time to save up more money; our parents are helping a little bit, but we’re using most of our savings for the wedding and won’t have the money for the honeymoon we’ve imagined right away. We will be taking a mini-vacation (“mini-moon”) for a few days right after we get married.
Post # 14
Hey girl! I hope your cheer up, I am sure you are just mentally exhausted plus being in school and planning a wedding is not easy for anyone.
We are getting married Sept 2017 but are doing our honeymoon the following summer as we want to do a 3 week trip to Europe and don’t want to experience Europe in the fall when we rather be there in the summer. Also it won’t be a cheap honeymoon by any means so want the extra time to save up.
But neither of us want to just go back to normal life right after wedding so we are doing a mini-moon, we are from Toronto Canada (wedding is Niagara on the Lake) we are thinking of going to Miami for a few days to get away and just be us two
Maybe that is something you two can do? Even a small resort town or rent a small cottage?
Post # 15
Sorry to hear you’re down, Bee! Enlist help from friends and family to help take care of those little tasks for your wedding. I had a lot of married friends reach out and offered help, I took a few up on their offer.
I second what other Bees have suggested, go for a 3-4 day mini-moon after your wedding to soak up all the bliss and to relax!