(Closed) Sad and disappointed…..

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5280 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

((HUGS)) Maybe he’s trying to throw you off because he knows that’s what you want?  Or maybe he’s saving for something better than you imagine?  I would of course like an engagement ring as well for christmas, but i seriously doubt that’s going to happen and I am taking it as EEEE it’s christmas time!! i get to look at the tree lol!!! i love christmas.  seriously, it will happen. if you truly believe that he is the person that’s meant for you, just chillax!! enjoy what may be your last christmas as a single woman without the stresses of planning a wedding or anticipating an engagement.  that’s what i plan on doing.

Post # 4
Member
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

He’ll do it when the time is right. There is always a reason why he hasn’t done it yet! And, IMO, the guy usually has a good reason for holding out and making us all go crazy! Maybe he wants to keep your future engagement separate from Christmas! Don’t let it ruin Christmas

Post # 5
Member
410 posts
Helper bee

Lolaj just relax! I was the same way with BF. Every time he would ask what I wanted for Christmas I would say you know what I want or just look at him sad with a smile…and he would tell me to stop because it wasn’t happening until later on. But if you read my post from yesterday you would have learned that I pretty much ruined it. He WAS planning on proposing before Christmas! He was just doing it to throw me off. Just sit back and relax and find something you do want for Christmas besides a ring…I asked for a rain jacket.

Post # 7
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with Crebre! He may be trying to throw you off! No you are not wasting time, you are just going through the “waiting blues” and we all have been there! TRUST ME! But it will all work out and he will propose!

Post # 8
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

When we were dating, my Fiance told me just before every. single. big. event. not to get my hopes up.  He told me before my birthday, before our anniversary trip, before a trip to the beach … I know he was just trying to save me from hurt feelings and diappointment by being honest, but it still sucked hard.  So I totally know what you’re going through. 

Take a deep breath, be thankful for the great person you have in your life and try not to let it ruin your birthday or the holiday.  Come here to vent, don’t take it out on him as he’s probably saving and trying his hardest to make you happy. 

Post # 9
Member
5280 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

OHHHH i think that’s awesome, or make him a beautiful chicken dinner ;)….. i definitely say go to the gym get insanely svelte then make him a great chicken dinner in an apron…. and heels… a la samantha from Sex in the City…

Post # 10
Member
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

The gym is an excellent place to let out frustrations and recenter! The moments before a proposal are *so* hard.

Post # 11
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Hey sweetie, a few things…

I understand wanting it so much that you feel downright devestated every time it doesn’t happen, but I learned it is really important not to be so focused on the ring that you lose track of the here and now. Someday you are going to look back on the days and weeks leading up to the proposal and you have the opportunity right now to make sure that when you look back on these days they are happy ones!

It’s possible he’s trying to throw you off the scent of a proposal so you don’t see it coming, and it’s possible that he just wants your proposal to be special in and of itself– not overshaddowed by a birthday or holiday celebration. This is as much HIS moment as yours! Let him have it.

You have the man you love… the rest will fall into place!

((hugs))

Post # 12
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

Aww.  I totally understand where you are coming from.  I want my engagement to happen so badly, that sometimes I almost feel like crying and start doubting it ever will.

The thing is, if he has talked about marriage and your future freely… you’re fine.  We’re all scared of things, and marriage is definitely a huge step.  Guys are weird.  A lot of them, surprisingly, hold out either because they feel they can’t “provide” for us or have some sort of self-doubt like that.  It’s usually not the girlfriend’s fault.

But with that being said, I absolutely know if I cry TO my BF about not being engaged, he is 1.) going to feel pressured or 2.) I may be on to him, so he’s going to reschedule for some unknown period of time.  They want it to be a surprise, and it’s retarded but that’s HIS thing.  It is absolutely a constant challenge for me to take each day as it is… but you know, I’ve really begun to see how he’s a great support.  And a great friend.

So relax.  You have a wonderful man, and if he knows how important it is to you… which they DO remember, it will happen.  Enjoy this, because like with most things, you’ll kick yourself for stressing during this time for no reason. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I think even if he is getting you an e-ring for christmas/your birthday, he wouldn’t tell you so just remember, he’s probably trying to get you confused and catch you off guard! You’ll get through this and it will all be worth it when he finally does propose, I promise!! I did the same thing, it was horrible but man, am I glad he tricked me bc the surprise is half the fun!

Post # 15
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

Aww!!  Girl, I feel ya!  I remember we drove to a wedding a few months ago and I just started sobbing in the car for no reason… just thinking how sad it was!  My poor BF.

I still get this way now from time to time because he used to talk about engagement and marriage all.the.time. and now it’s referred to every couple of weeks.  I do not mention anything.  I don’t want to get my hopes up. 

Post # 16
Member
2316 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

OMG taco! I’ve totally done something like that before, the crying in the car thing. I’ll get irrationally mad at him for NO discernable reason.

I don’t want you to get your hopes up, so I’m not going to tell you “Oh he’ll do it anyway!” but think of it this way, if he doesn’t do it at Christmas, it’s okay. You know why? Because SO many people get engaged at Christmas! I’m sure many of your friends will, and you won’t have to share the spotlight with them! You’ll get attention all of your own when he proposes later!

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