(Closed) Sad and disappointed…..

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
436 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

hugs!  i KNOW how disappointing that can be, as I’ve totally been there.   BIG HUGS!

I have a question, and I mean no offense to ANYONE on this board.  But for you waiting bees… does it really help when people say “maybe he’s trying to throw you off” or “maybe he already has something planned” etc. etc?  I mean, yeah, maybe that’s true, but it just seems like that kind of thinking is setting us up for an even bigger disappointment.  I dont’ know.  And again, I mean no offense.

Post # 33
Member
243 posts
Helper bee

@ teaadntoast – I completely agree with you when you point out

“Even worse, he may be getting the impression that you care a lot more about the ring, the wedding and keeping up with your friends than you do about him or your relationship.”

If I were a guy and my fiance was bugging me and bugging for a ring I would just feel like all she wanted was a nice piece of jewelery to show off…and that the ring was taking precedence over what a proposal actually means in the long term (a marriage forever)

I also really believe that it is just a bad way to start off an engagement and preparation for marriage if the proposal happened because the guy was bombarded with negativity, pressure, ultimatums, etc. I’m sure you don’t want him to propose to you because you made him feel like he had to at a particular time.

I’m not attacking you or anything – I completely respect that you are excited to get married – I just think that you should think about how you’re making him feel and how the way you’re handling this situation could potentially (negatively) affect your relationship down the road.

Good luck! I really hope everything works out in its own time.

Post # 34
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee

Get your butt to the gym!  I want it to happen at Christmas too.  I have EVERYONE asking me if I am getting something shiny for Christmas.  I don’t want to think about it at all so I packed the next 2 months with things to do and I am working out twice a day.  It’s really helping!  Otherwise I would be going crazy! 

Post # 35
Member
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

To be honest i wouldnt want to be engaged on Christmas day. Christmas day is about the family and i would want to have my own special day.. our engagement day. Cheer up i think he wants to make it special.

Post # 36
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

I too would never want to get engaged on Christmas day.  A proposal is such a big deal, that it should be it’s own day and it’s own celebration, not lumped in with one that everyone else is celebrating too. Plus, a lawyer friend of mine once told me that if a man proposes on Christmas or a birthday, and the couple ever gets divorced, the man can legally ask for the ring back, OR the amount of $ the ring cost…not that any of us are thinking like that…but isn’t that crazy?   So there are many reasons your guy might be telling you it’s not happening. So think of something else you’d like as a gift!

Post # 37
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Wait and see if he was just trying to throw you off with the surprise at your birthday or Christmas and if not…get another boyfriend!  In My Humble Opinion too many women being perpetual girlfriends these days.   No offense to anyone…just old fashioned mom here. 🙂 

Post # 38
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

If you really feel like he’s not sensitive to how you are feeling, talk to him about a timeline, something along the lines of “honey, I’m not telling you when to do anything, but I’d like to be married by _____ and I know I’ll need at least ______ to plan any sort of wedding. I love you and want you to know how I feel” and see how he responds.

Post # 39
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

My boyfriend loves to try and throw me off because I usually guess right on presents and things like that. So maybe he is trying to do that and actually give you a surprise. Also, Don’t pressure the guy!! The more pressure he feels the less he’s going to want to propose and feel good about it. Let things flow naturally. Believe me I was like you asking and when is my ring coming etc., but later in a heated argument I found out that he wanted to save more than I thought so he could afford the ring of my dreams even though I’ve told him that I would love any ring no matter what shape, size color, real or fake ha SO BREATHE and Relax and HUGGS. Hope that helps a bit.

Post # 40
Member
17 posts
Newbee

Talking about crying when opening presents????  For my 30th Bday in July I got a locket… It was square and HUGE…What am i like 5 years old???…  I swear I wanted to DIE…  I LOOKED LIKE FLAVOR FLAV..LOL.  I can laugh about how ugly it is now because it has been 5 months… oh and i only wore it on my birthday for him… i will never wear that thing ever again.

 Ohhh and literally  5 minutes after I got that disgusting locket my best friend called me to tell me she got engaged… At that moment I cried.

Then in october… my b/f asked what I wanted for our FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY…. he suggested a shopping spree — which he always does as he sucks at picking out gifts– as u can see.  I told him that idea is just not going to work for me at this point anymore… hinting at a RING.   I got a bracelet– it was actually very nice… the jewlery is getting closer to the hand ..but still no ring!!!

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