Post # 1
So, for MONTHS I have been inlove with a very specific style of dress….based on my obsession with allure 9058…..but yesterday….i got a call that a bridal shop up the road had a dress that was similiar to the base of the allure 9058….a tulle ballgown and they had a lace bolero to give it that feel…..so i went to give it the old college try…..and
I HATED how i looked….i have muscular shoulders and the full capsleeve made me look like a freaking line backer….im about 5’3″ tall and a size 22 in bridal…..and the tulle ballgown….made me look bigger, shorter, and kind of swallowed me whole….i just didnt like it at all…..
so the pulled some of the tulle back….and yep still hated it….took off the bolero….and it was a little better….but since that was the ONLY plus size dress they had for me to try on….since theyd brought that in for a couple other girls to try too who just wanted tulle ballgowns they called me per my request….i couldnt try on anything else so i left near tears at how awful i felt in that dress, realizing my dream dress just isnt for me….
now im stuck….i dont know where to go from here….everything i thought i wanted looks horrible on me….and granted im in the proccess of loosing weight….(down 8lbs! YAY ME!)….i dont think its going to change how i feel in that dress….
it was too much dress….I just figured it was work because it was a big dress and im a big girl…so it should balance and look ok…..well that was a negative….I’m TERRIFIED beyond belieft to try on more fitted dresses…..i dont want to look horrible on my wedding day….my FI has said hell love me no matter what and thinks ill look gorgeous even if its a burlap sack….he just dosent want me to look like a cake topper or have a “stupidly poofy” dress…..
SO since i have awhile before my wedding its back to the drawing boards i guesse….can any of my lovely bees help me find some new inspiration or show me what worked on you????
for instance….Im 5’3″, i wear a bridal size 22 in almost every designer that ive looked at size charts for, i carry most of my weight in my tummy but its pretty well distributed, I have NO butt(like a pancake), and i wear a 38F bra….
ladies i need some pics of inspiration…….or suggestions….all my hubby to be says is he wants me to look elegant and not like a cake topper……
Post # 3
uggghhh ive tried 4 times to fix the spacing….so im leaving it as is…..because i cant fix it…..
Post # 4
@kansas_nurse: We all come in different shapes and sizes, and I’ve noticed in my travels, that we tend to be harder on ourselves that reality every could be….that being said, I totally understand how you can love the look of something, get there, try it on and hate it intensely….its just part of the shopping process, bridal or not.
The good news is, some of the savviest, most knowledgable and fashion forward people I’ve ever met were bridal consultants…because we’re not all a 00 and because we all have some feature that we think is awful and things we hate about ourselves….these women work in the business of putting brides in THEIR dress….
If you can find one that you like, who makes you feel comfortable and is a good listener…avail yourself to her suggestions…something you hate on a hanger, might be solid gold when you put it on….and another trick to trying on when sample sizes leave you wanting…wear a white or neutral colored dress and let them clip and pin the gown on the front…you can get a good idea that way too.
Either way, don’t give up and keep looking, YOUR dress is out there!
Post # 5
I knew I absolutely did not want a satin ballgown style dress. It was even the first thing I said the first time I walked into a bridal shop…”Do not show me anything ballgown or in satin!” I wanted something lacy and vintage.
I ended up falling head over heels in love with a satin ballgown lol
I think its hard to decide what you will lvoe until you go try on different styles. I am also plus sized (18W)but was able to try on 12 and 14s… they didnt zip but the consultant made it look like they did 🙂
You have a ton of time so don’t be discouraged! You will find your dream dress 🙂
Post # 6
Even if you don’t want a David’s Bridal dress, that might be a good place to get an appointment, since they will have your size available to try in a LOT of different shapes and styles. That’ll help you narrow down the silhouette that looks best on you, which should help you narrow your search if you don’t want a David’s dress :-). I’m sure it’s just this one dress that’s the problem – not all shapes look good on everyone! I’m large chested and had that problem a lot, too!
Post # 7
@kansas_nurse: First of all I highly doubt you looked as horrible as you perceived yourself to look, afterall we are our worse critics. However. Sometimes when your shorter ball gowns can swallow you up and make you look bigger than you really are. Here are some styles I think would look great on you. They are from DB. Make sure you read the reviews because it shows pics of “plus size” brides in the dresses. (never understood that word I feel we are all beautiful) Good luck and keep your head up. 🙂
Post # 8
We are opposite, but we had the same problem!
I am also short, but very little, and I was certain that a tulle ballgown would make me look poofy and like a cake toppper, exactly like you said.
I found out a couple valuable things:
1. Not all tulle skirts are poofy! Some have a more a-line flow, especially if there is a dropped waist.
2. You most likely WILL try on a dress that is exactly what you thought you were in love with and find out it doesn’t work.
I was in love with the keyhole back lace gowns that you see in all the magazines. Welp. I found out that without broader shoulders and boobs, I was going to look swallowed in a dress with so much going on around my neck.
The dress I ended up choosing last weekend is taffeta (what!) with an empire skirt and a single layer of tulle on top. Completely different from my visions of lace a-line flow, but perfect, all the same.
Don’t give up, because you might find it when you least expect it!
Post # 9
go to david’s bridal to narrow down what looks best on you. don’t give them any real actual info (they will sell your name, phone number, email, and address), but the appointment will be a good place to start. or try alfred angelo (they won’t sell your info)- they offer all kinds of sizes as well (:
Post # 10
Have you thought of getting one custom made instead of purchasing? You have oodles of time to think of what you want, consult with some makers, and pick out fabrics. That way, you know the dress will fit you correctly.
Post # 11
You are being too hard on youself… Even the most petit of us have body issues and insecurities about clothing and the way it fits (especially something as special as a bridal gown!) and many of us have gone in to the bridal store with one idea and come out with something we never imagined we would like / wear!
First, ask you FI and your closest friends what regular outfit or dress of yours is their favorite (and why). Chances are, they will all select the pieces of clothing that really accentuate your best features (they all may even say the same outfit). These are the features you will want your wedding dress to acccentuate! Next, as crayfish said, go to large retailer like David’s Bridal or Alfred Angelo that carry a million different styles and tell your consultant about what you want to feature and what clothing works best for you!
Post # 12
Agree with Crayfish, DB isn’t for everyone but it can really help you narrow down what style you love and looks best on you. I’m a fellow big girl and I had a tough time deciding what style I wanted. I ‘ll post a few pics of my try on process for ya and my actual dress.
^this one is a mori lee julietta, loved the lace but didn’t love the defining of my gut and how difficult it was to walk in.
^Another Mori Lee Julietta, liked the mermaid style but this was too much fabric. I felt like a swaddled baby. lol I was about a street size 20/22 in these pics. I ended up going down to a 16/18 by my wedding date.
^DB dress. Not thrilled with the material or the fit.
DB again. same issues as other one.
^Allure. We’re getting closer. Loved the shape but not quite right.
^And here she is, my Allure 8850. After much trial and error I found one I loved. I’ll share one of the back as well.
Sorry I got carried away with wedding day pics. 😀 Not trying to take over your thread, just wanted to share my trial and error dress search and where I ended up.
I was a bridal consultant and helped many plus sized brides find their perfect most flattering dress shape. If you share a pic of yourself on here or in a pm I will gladly give you some direction. 😀 I’m a 40G btw. It’s not condusive to trying on dresses off the rack. Also, you might try to find a bridal salon near you that specializes in full figure brides. I did and it was amazing to be able to try on any dress in the store.
Post # 13
@crayfish: i wiah there was a davids bridal near me….the closest ones are 3-4 hours away….
thanks everyone for the support….its just hard to find out what you thought you wanted isnt what works….part of it, was that i felt smothered with all that going on near my neck…and it was just too much dress for me i think….but i guesse thats what i get for never even browsing dresses in person, just online and thinking i knew what would work based on prom dresses ive worn….because woah boy prom and bridal are 2 different deals….
Post # 14
@kansas_nurse: your dress and you are very beautiful! i guesse i just need to buck up and get back out there..
Post # 15
@kansas_nurse: I was so nervous the first time I tried them on I started sweating profusely and got really light headed. Lol. I’d been a bridal consultant for a year at that point but never ever tried any on because I was so afraid I would look awful.
It can be very discouraging to not look like you thought you would in your head in your dream dress. Don’t give up! You’ll find IT and everything else will fall into place.
Post # 16
What about Alfred Angelo? I think they carry a similar size selection and have lots and lots of gowns.