(Closed) Sad at the mid way point – long post

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
374 posts
Helper bee

Don’t worry.  They are either married and done w/wedding stuff and want to get on with life; or, they are single and don’t like when the topic of conversation is always ‘about the wedding.’  It can get pretty boring.  That’s why this site is so great.  We can talk w/each other and go on and on about ribbon, bows, this/that, colors, and people hear listen.  As for the distance, if they are single, they probably wanted to prowl around the city and you would have  held them down.  it’s all about the catch, you know.

Find one or two friends who really are happy for you; and share with them.

Don’t take it seriously.

Post # 4
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Ms. Valentin:

It really stinks to feel so let down by your friend. I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, but it seems like they were there to experience the excitement of NYC instead of the original purpose of the trip. It’s tough not to feel bad when something doesn’t live up to the expectation. Hope you feel better and keep sharing here. There are a lot of us who have found bride friends to share in wedding excitement 🙂 * hugs *

Post # 5
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sucks when friends pull stuff like that. I totally agree.

But, it wasn’t really a wedding related trip, afterall your invited your brother and Fiance as well, so I just don’t think that you are justified in feeling like you should have been the center of attention. You can’t really play the “accomodating bride” card at completely unrelated events – it just doesn’t make sense.

Post # 6
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Im sorry your feeling down, but i really dont think they intentionally made you feel that way!! Its your wedding soon!! This should be a fun time dont let this keep you down!

Post # 8
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

So sorry.  I feel very alone in all the wedding-ness too…and it sucks when friends don’t give us the support we expect…or family doesn’t give us the support we expect, for that matter.  I’m just resigned to the fact that I’m planning the whole bloody thing myself (FI is a doing a small bit but the MAJOR things are falling on my shoulders), and have no family, no friends, no one to help me.  I’m not even having a bridal shower thrown for me.  So, yeah, I feel pretty crappy too. 

I also think all the stress we have to deal with planning the wedding just makes everything worse than it would be if we didn’t have to deal with all this.  🙁

Post # 9
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

People will get excited/make a fuss again as it gets closer to your wedding, I promise! It’s in the middle where nobody’s really thinking about it yet since they aren’t the ones actively planning like you are.

Post # 10
374 posts
Helper bee

Angelique:  How do you know you’re not having a shower?  sometimes they are a surprise!  Get back to us if you do have one.

To address the original concern again, the Maid/Matron of Honor can buy her ‘wedding gear’ anywhere and I think the focus of the trip was NYC and hanging out.  It’s alot of money to go to NYC and you don’t want to over burden your bridesmaids with spending money for transporation, lodging and food; all out of their pocket; just for you.

Unless you are having more girls in the wedding; and, unless you are waiting for your Maid/Matron of Honor to buy her stuff so others have a direction, I’d let it ride.  Don’t bug her.  Maybe she’s waiting because she wants to shed a few more pounds.  She’s not going to want to look stupid the day of the wedding; she’s going to want to look her best; and secretly want to upstage you.  She’s most likely insecure and wants to make sure she looks great.  She is not going to wear anything that doesn’t flatter her.  if it’s not important to know her dress style, don’t ask.  6 weeks before casually ask her the color of her dress so you can coordinate the flowers.

Have you sent her a note thanking her for being your MOH?  Maybe she wants a little limelight here.

Best of luck,

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