(Closed) Sad because we can’t afford a house

posted 10 years ago in Home
Post # 3
4005 posts
Honey bee

How much debt does he actually have? Maybe it’s time to see a financial planner to help him get on a budget, b/c making $100K/year is certainly a nice paycheck.

Is all of his debt on credit cards or is some of it student loans/car payment? Understanding what he’s exactly in debt for will help to pay it off. Paying the credit cards with the highest interest rates first is best, and then go from there. I think you just need to understand exactly what he’s paying off and how will help you help him get out from under his pile of debt.

Post # 5
4005 posts
Honey bee

@caribbean_lover:  Ah yes…I definitely remember that post!

I think having him meet with a tax specialist first might be the best thing for him to do. Though he has the lien on him for $60K right now, he might be able to get that reduced if he can show that he’s making a good faith effort to pay it off. He definitely has to talk to someone who specializes in that though rather than just trying to do it on his own. Any tax bees out there that can help on that? 

I’m sorry that things seem bleak right now, but try to help him as much as you can. The worst is the tax lien which he needs to get to work on first. He needs to make some cuts in his life though if he wants to get out from under this. It’s going to be pretty tough for a few years, but you guys can do it!

Post # 6
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Palma Sola Botanical Park

I’m so sorry your timeline got pushed back! I think it’s great that you guys are working on his debt first, though, before moving to the next stage. It will be such a relief to have that cleared off the table and have his credit in a better position before you start looking for a home and trying for a kid. I know it’s hard to wait, but it will be worth it!

Post # 7
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re in a similar situation. After we get married, Fiance will attempt to finish college, and from there, I’ll probably head off to grad school (hopefully!) A house likely won’t be in our future for a few years. Also, I’ll be 3 days shy of my 29th birthday when we get married so we’ll likely TTC a year after that….I just tell myself that instead of having a “starter” home, we’ll save up more money renting an apartment (and not needing to pay for any home repairs/issues!) and we’ll move into our dream home first…just think of it that way…but for me, not owning a home isn’t the end of the world so we’re okay with it!

Post # 8
2570 posts
Sugar bee

Sounds like your Fiance has a plan, I think it would help you feel better if you participated in the planning.

Like a PP suggested, and a great suggestion!, seek some tax advice and financial consulting. 

Then look at how you currently live and what can you cut back on to put towards the debt payment. Even moving to a cheaper location could be a huge savings over the course of 2-4 years.

Also, you say you are not making that much right now. Are you expecting to make more? If not, can you try to find a job that makes more? Then anything you make above what you currently are making go immediately towards the debt payment- paying it off that much faster.

I think having a hand in the planning and paying would make you feel more in control.



Post # 9
4497 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well to be honest home ownership is a MONEY PIT! Be prepared to have something for the rest of your life that is at a constant rate of deterioration, with no mercy! 

Renting is awesome , and allows you to really control your finances and do what you need to do. I personally think there is no reason you couldn’t have a child as a renter? If you start after your august wedding (5 months away), add a few months of trying(1-4 ?) , plus 9 months of baking in the over, you going to be more than a year out. Unless of course kids aren’t in your budget and its a chain reaction kind of deal then thats a different story.

Also is this 4 years like eating rice and beans and being thrifty or is it going to take 4 years because your husband prefers to live a certain lifestyle ( i remember in your last post he lived quite the life! )? I also recommend selling stuff ( any toys like motor bikes, jetskis, etc etc) it helps take a chunk out and you can snowball your debt faster.

Best of luck! I’m glad your on a plan and looking to change the financial situation. Time flies!

Post # 10
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Honey  i am 54 and just got my first house a year ago! I was a lifelong renter and  I LOVED IT. quite frankly, as far as  i am concerned, mortgage is just really expensive rent and you are responsible for all the repairs.     A person is born with nothing and dies with nothing and everything in between is temporary.  Home ownership does not guarantee happiness! Focus on creating a happy home life!

Post # 11
761 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@2PeasinaPod:  you always give such good advice:)  I think you’ve hit the nail on the head by suggesting trying to speak with financial professionals to see what their recommendations are.


View original reply
@caribbean_lover:  is not having a home what you’re most disappointed about or is it not being able to have children for 4 more years?  If you work out a plan to knock THAT MUCH debt out in 4 years, I think that you shouldn’t feel that you HAVE to delay trying for that long.  While I know that having a home you own is a nice comfort to have, I certainly don’t think it’s a must before having kids.  Do you think DH would be willing to discuss the possibility of having kids before owning a home?

Post # 13
7038 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You don’t need to be in your forever house to have a kid.

Also, it’s nice to see you guys being so realistic and responsible about getting that serious debt paid off! I know it sucks to delay things, but you guys will be so much better off in the future for it! The housing bubble was created by people buying houses when they weren’t in a good position just because they really wanted one…and look what happened!

Post # 14
7038 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@caribbean_lover:  kids won’t be able to enjoy a yard until they are at least 2 years old. And, that’s what parks were made for! Kids successfully grow up in urban environments.

Post # 15
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Can he move into some cheap apartment or back in with his parents for a year or two? With his salary and living in a cheap place the debt should be taken care of within a few years.

Post # 16
9986 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry you’re going through this.  You really should both meet with a financial counselor and tax specialist to sort this out.  The advice about renting forever is interesting, and worth considering IF you live in an area where renting is more viable. Where I live, rent pushes $2,000 a month, and mortgages can be significantly less.  There are some good caluclators online that will take your numbers into account and figure out if it’s better to rent or buy for you.  You should check those out!

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