(Closed) Sad, bitter and angry

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think you know what you need to do ):

Post # 4
Member
2718 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Unfortunately, I agree with @nikix.  

Post # 5
Member
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I, too, agree with @nikix. You need to do what is best for you. You have already been with this guy for 7 years and he has not changed his mind. I’m sorry you are going through this 🙁

Post # 6
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If getting married is THAT important to you and not getting married is THAT important to him, you guys are not meant for eachother. I also think it speaks volumes that he can’t sit down and have a normal, adult conversation about his thoughts and feelings on the topic. Has he ever given you a valid reason for not wanting to get married?

Post # 7
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@nikix:  +1

Post # 8
Member
8444 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@nikix:  +1

Post # 10
Member
2755 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so, so sorry but it seems like you’ve already made your mind up and you know deep down that he doesn’t share your vision for the future. It’s so hard to come to that conclusion – I’ve been there. My ex-FI didn’t really want the same things I did, but went along with what I wanted just to go along. Finally, when he told me he didn’t know what he wanted and he definitely wasn’t ready for marriage or a family now – maybe ever – it was devastating, but I’m SO happy now. And you will be, too.

I know leaving is hard. But it’s going to be so good for you, especially when you meet a man who does want to start a family and a marriage with you. *hug* Be strong, you can do this. Any man who sulks after 7 years together when marriage is brought up is NOT a man you want to try starting a life and a family with.

Post # 11
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Purplefurrydice:   You’ve spent (perhaps wasted) enough of your time on this relationship – it’s time to move on and find someone who wants the same things in life that you do.  I wish you all the best!

Post # 12
Member
5001 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ugh, what a tough situation, I’m so sorry! If you are going to walk, I would make it very very clear to him so he knows that you’re serious. I wouldn’t do it behind his back thinking maybe he’ll coincidentally propose before you go. I would rationally explain it all to him, tell him you love him but you can’t stay with him if you aren’t getting married, tell him he has a month to think about it, and stick to your guns. Good luck!

Post # 14
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

I think if he were willing to discuss it and explain his fears or seek counseling or something I would be a little more understanding, but sulking and not willing to discuss things doesn’t really sound ideal. I know how badly this must hurt you, and I truly am sorry. Trust that you will find someone who is worth your time, and don’t give up on your desire to get married. If it might be helpful, feel free to PM me. Sending lots of girl strength your way in the mean time!

Post # 15
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with the PP here.  You’ve invested a lot of your life into this relationship, but he’s asking you to compromise on one of your dreams (getting married) while still wanting you to allow one of his dreams (having children).  Not only is this incredibly unfair, but also it shows that you are on totally different pages in terms of how you view family and your worldview.

You mentioned a March walk-date.  What would keep you from walking, or have you begun to map out your responses if he tries to talk you out of it?

I’m sorry OP.

Post # 16
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@nikix:  +100

Sorry, but you sound like your mind is made up. If that’s something that’s so important to you and he’s not willing to oblige after 7 years, you have to let him go.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. (((hugs)))

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