Post # 32
Thank you everyone for the supportive comments. I need until March to tie off the loose ends to do with my dad’s estate, save money, and find out what is going on with my job (my department is being restructured).
im going to make a list of things I need to do before we have the relationship conversation tonight. The breakup is going to take some planning as I am currently living in different city from where I work (which I don’t like living in anyway) so when we break up I will need to find somewhere to live closer to work. My Boyfriend or Best Friend won’t be able to stay in the house as he doesn’t earn a great salary (I earn much more than him) so he will have to move back in with his parents!
Unfortunately, I don’t have any family so I can’t leave now with no where to go to.
Post # 33
I understand your feelings and it is sad. I also would feel the same way – how can you expect the relationship to be perfect when you are hurting because you feel rejected. The longer he waits for you to be the perfect mate the more resentful you will be. There is a man out there that will be sooo excited to be with you. You are with a btn (better than nothing) and the right man won’t be able to be with you when you are with someone else. There are great men out there or even by yourself for a while to learn to enjoy life and be happy.
Post # 34
I was with my ex for a very long time and we lived together for five years. He had commitment issues, and I finally left. It was hard, but honestly, the last year I grew to resent him so much that by the time I finally did leave I didn’t love him anymore and I didn’t care. I didn’t miss him and was never tempted to go back. That last year was very difficult and I was miserable, but the break up was a lot easier for me than it was for him because I was done with the relationship while I was still in it, and by the time I moved out I was happier and excited to start a new life.
Post # 35
+1. Good luck.. and remember to be kind to yourself during the tough times.
Post # 36
Don’t compromise on what YOU want for YOUR life. And at this point, he’s made it clear, even if he does mention marriage again, it’s not in earnest. He just is afraid to lose you. You are better than this. Keep your chin up!
Post # 37
I lived with my ex for EIGHT years. I too know what it means to be bitter about the relationship. It finally ended when I discovered the bastard was cheating on me.
In the end, it was the best thing tht could have happened. The break-up was nasty, but in the end very much worth it. In less than a year I met FH, and I wasn’t even looking for love or a relationship. Within two years, I was engaged.
Time to lose the guy, my friend. yes, things will be hard at first, but I am here to tell you that better days await you!
Post # 38
My ex and I dated off and on for 7 years…the last time we lived together for over a year. And guess what – no ring. We did some talking about marriage but nothing too serious. His family loved me and treated me like we were already married.
One day something happened – I was at a friend’s bridal shower and I realized I didn’t love my ex like she loved her future husband. So I went home and told my ex this. I wasn’t a yatch about it…but I didn’t sugar coat it either.
Here is where he could have said “Let’s work on this. I love you. How can we fix this?” But you know what he said instead? “Well if you don’t love then you shouldn’t live in my house”.
And that was it. I moved out. It was hard. Really hard. I mean I had spent 7 years with this person and here I was out on my own. All my friends where married – heck someone of them were on marriage #2. Dating was scary and it was hard to meet someone. I really thought I was going to be alone forever. No matter how bad I felt I KNEW in my heart of hearts that I was doing the right thing.
But then I met my Fiance. All it took was 2 years of dating and 4 months of living together for him to propose.
PS – the ex…yeah he called me for a year and half after we broke up trying to get me back. I ignored him at first then kept telling him I had a bf. The last time I talked to him it was about a month before I moved in with my Fiance (still bf at the time). He actually had the nerve to give me some advice. He said NOT to move in with him because it will just make him put proposing off. Idiot.
Good luck on whatever you decide.
Post # 39
Quick update. My Boyfriend or Best Friend started speaking to me when he came home from football night (so he had sulked for two whole days) but did not apologise as I had made him ‘sad’. I had a quick chat with him today and suggested we try counceling as we are arguing and making each other sad. He was like dont be ridiculous we dont need counceling. I can’t believe he doesn’t think there is anything wrong with our relationship.
Post # 40
=( I’m sorry I can’t give you a hug right now. It doesn’t sound like he understands or prioritizes your feelings. Has he always been like that?