(Closed) sad dad wont give a speech

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Do you know what his reasoning is? Is he terrified of public speaking?

Post # 5
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@jen 42713:  Did he say why? Is he uncomfortable giving speeches? My father gave a speech, but my Father-In-Law was uncomfortable with the idea and chose not to give one at the rehearsal dinner. If he is uncomfortable with it, I’d hate knowing that he was looking toward my wedding day with concern/anxiety over giving the speech, rather than excitement. I understand being disappointed, but I wouldn’t dwell on it too much. 

Post # 6
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think you should go to lunch or for coffee or something and talk to him about it. I don’t like talking in public either but I am giving a speech for my friend at her wedding. I’m sure he is just nervous but will do it.

Post # 7
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

DId he tell you why?

Is he afraid os speaking in public? I, for instance, wouldn’t do it either, just to think about it, I feel sick :S


Post # 10
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well if he’s uncomfortable you should not want him to do it.  You don’t TELL someone…you ASK them.  Maybe instead you could ask that he write down what he would say, and you can include it in the program or something.

Post # 11
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@jen 42713:  I’m sorry, I know it’s disappointing, you want to hear all of those nice things that Dad’s say at their daughter’s weddings….I get it.  But some people just cannot do it, and as someone that has been subjected to BAD speeches, it’s for the best….maybe if you ask him to write it all down in a letter that he can give to you and your Fiance to read later, all of his hopes and wishes, you still get that, but he doesn’t have to reveal it in public, which is hard for some men…well, MOST men.

Post # 12
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My Father-In-Law doesn’t want to say a prayer over us, when I asked him he winced. 

I understand the disappointment, but maybe you can find someone else to give a speech? 

Post # 15
3150 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@jen 42713:  for the record, I’ve never been to a wedding where the dad made a speech or toast. Maybe a rehearsal dinner. I’m sorry tho- it stinks. Let him off the hook tho- public speaking is a huge fear for a lot of people. 

Post # 16
7649 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I wouldn’t put him in such an uncomfortable position if he really doesn’t want to make a speech. Doesn’t sound like he wants to talk in public in front of people.

I didn’t think my dad was going to make a speech, but he did. However, it was all about my Maid/Matron of Honor because she had 90% of her speech material “taken” by the Best Man, so he wanted to make her feel better (he’s known her her whole life), lol. So my dad didn’t even talk about me or my new husband at all lol.


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