(Closed) Sad: Getting Over a Botched Proposal

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 271
5356 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016


Post # 272
130 posts
Blushing bee

Wow I’m pretty shocked to see some of the posters I used to look up to being bandwagon bullies in this thread. Holy geez. There is abso-frickin-lutely nothing wrong with expecting that your other half understands that the engagement is kind of momentous and not something you approach flippantly, which is what princessmaker’s story sounds like. Maybe some people here are just super casual about what marriage and relationships mean but if there’s one moment in life where you pause to let a decision sink in and make sure both people realize it’s super important, it’s engagement time. Not “throw a box at you…yes? ok good, that’s over” time.

Nobody has to spend money to make an engagement special. You don’t even need a ring, and I gather it was less about the size of the ring and more about the clear thoughtlessness behind it. But I feel pretty sorry for folks whose SO treated the moment like it was any other everyday household question like “did you scoop out the kitty litter today?” Sorry, NO. It could be something as simple as asking the woman (or man, if you’re more into proposing to him, or both parties mutually deciding) out on a nice evening walk, then taking the time to look into their eyes and tell them how much they mean to you and that you’d like this moment to signify that you are officially engaged. That’s all it takes. I don’t gather that atmosphere of importance went on in princessmaker’s case and she’s totally justified in feeling down about it.

princessmaker, I think people are pretty unfairly hard on you, and I don’t gather that you are ACTUALLY expecting something crazy like a flight to Paris or a 5 carat ring. You didn’t throw a temper tantrum when he asked, you even said yes, but realized at the same time that you would have liked a more traditional approach afterwards and asked him to care about it with you.

If he can’t muster that up though, you guys might not be on the same page and may not be suited for each other…differing expectations are kind of a red flag in a relationship, especially if one half is totally clueless about the other’s personality. When one person’s “ok whatever” butts heads with another person’s “this is important to me” frequently, that may be more friction than a marriage can handle.

Post # 273
147 posts
Blushing bee

The title of the post is “Sad: Getting Over a Botched Proposal”.  What is the real issue here?  Ok, I understand you want a grand/worthy proposal and ring, nothing wrong with that, according to reasons you have expressed.  But you’re sad years later, because you rejected the proposal.  Move on with the issue, it was YOUR choice to reject it so accept the consequences.    

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by sunny_bee5078.
Post # 274
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

this thread is all over the place! I stopped reading after you suggested replacing the stone in your class ring. If you were as easy to please as that then you would have accepted the proposal the first time. It’s not about HOW he asked rather the fact that he DID ask! I will not waste any more of my time trying to make sense of your problem here. The problem is you.

Post # 276
14490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m going to go ahead and close this now. Enjoy your evening ladies. 

The topic ‘Sad: Getting Over a Botched Proposal’ is closed to new replies.

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