(Closed) Sad. My mother told me I look fat in my dress.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 152
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I very rarely leave comments but I stumbled across your post and actually teared up! You look blooming beautiful in that dress, and your smile says it all. Truly stunning dress and you certainly do not look fat! I think your mum is jealous, seeing as she’s made such an effort with her outfit it sounds like she wants to upstage you! Which is laughable cus as soon as your guests see you they will be blown away, and certainly no one will be looking at your mum with such admiration! Especialily if they knew how foul she’s been!! I didn’t get around to reading all the other bees posts I just skipped to comment after reading your first post, but I really think you look amazing, and that was at a fitting/trying on! I can only imaging how beautiful you will look on the day! with regards to Christmas, I’d stay well away. she seams to have some vendetta to ruin your wedding, don’t let her!! 🙂 best wishes and keep your chin up 🙂 x

Post # 153
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
@Wellington Bride:  oh no! I wrote my comment and hadn’t seen this update. I was referring to the one a couple of pages back. 

I absolutely do not think you should call her back and apologize. That was her suggestion and not yours. It is horrible that she is playing with your emotions that way but I would stand strong and not give in. Sorry you are going through this and wish I had better advice. I would just continue to let her push you away if that’s what she wants to do.

Post # 154
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish

@Wellington Bride:  well I think your mom is just jealous. My mom says the most awefull hateful things when shes mad or jealous. Honestly I think you look beautiful and perfect in that dress. I’m jealous of you cause I actually tried that dress on I litterally looked like I was being eaten alive lol. But you it looks awesome on. So just do like jayz and brush the dirt off your shoulder. Another words let them be jealous cause you shine.

Post # 155
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish

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@Wellington Bride:  To the last update no i think you shouldn’t plead for her forgiveness. Just let her suffer through a christmas without you. she’ll learn not to do it again.

Post # 156
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You look absolutely beautiful and glowing in your dress. I really hope you’re feeling a bit better about things xxx

Post # 157
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

No! Don’t beg her for forgiveness! She needs to be begging for YOUR forgiveness. I’m so sorry you are going through this. For the record, you look amazing in your dress and I’m sure your fiance is going to think you are stunning. stay strong gorgeous!

Post # 158
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

MY MOTHER has been extremely negative as well!  First you look soooo beautiful in the dress, be excited and proud bc u deserve to not only look amazing but feel confident as well! I haven’t found the dress yet but scared to even show my mother.  She critisizes every idea from flowers to venue to cake, amount of bridesmaids, colors, …. Seriously the list is constant.  She is happy w nothing.  I am sick to my stomach reading her texts .  Today I told her that if she can’t be positive I won’t share any more information w her.  She has been nice for a few hrs but she also  lives 3000 miles away so time will tell.  Anyway I am venting also!!! But know how u feel!  U r gorgeous in the dress!  Enjoy and celebrate!!!!

Post # 159
Member
440 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@Wellington Bride:  You poor love!! Ok,

1. I’m just gonna copy and paste what I wrote to you on another thread:

Stormchild (message   September 6, 2014   London, England
Oh I’m a little bit in love with your look! Think I just saw your make up trial too. You’re so beautiful!! Jealous!
 
2. Your H2B is clearly a right cutie. Awwww.
 
3. Personally, I don’t think you should call your mum back and apologise. Let her sit it out and reconsider.
 
Hope it works out – I LOVE your dress!!

 

Post # 160
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

View original reply
H2B of @Wellington Bride:  Well that just made me cry!

View original reply
@sassy411:  Your comment has the beginnings of a poem…

Your Mother is a Shrew

The Dress looks stunning on you;

Anyone who disagrees

Is obviously talking poo.

Post # 161
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Wellington Bride:  Well, since you’ve been to therapy, I’m sure you know that the reason you feel this way is because of your mother’s unhealthy obsession with weight. I mean that’s obvious, but you should also come to terms with the fact that if SHE has a warped view of weight and image, then you should take her comments as being warped and not correct. 

First of all, no one in their right mind would say that you are heavy, or that you don’t look anything but incredible in your dress (as you now have 4 pages of comments reiterating) but that’s not the point, the fact that your mother said this means that there is something in her that wants to hurt you and make you feel bad. 

Why would she do this? Who knows. Jealousy? Resentment? I have no idea what your history is with her, but it clearly has nothing to do with your actual appearance. 

I’m sorry you had to go through this. As a recovering bulimic myself, planning this wedding has been an insane trigger for me. Every day has been a battle, but I am exercising my butt off and trying to remember, “This is my body, it is healthy, it gets me around, and I love it for that.” Plus, your fiance loves you for the way you are, and you KNOW he is going to be floored when he sees you!

Congrats pretty lady!

Post # 162
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You look STUNNING.  Not just nice, not just pretty, STUNNING.  Like royalty.  The gown is beautiful, but I can also see that you glow when you wear it.  Don’t let her, or anyone else, steal that glow!

This is your gown, for your wedding, to your husband.  Don’t invite her in to help you get ready if you don’t want to.  Or, tell her flat out that if she wants to be in that room, ONLY positive comments will be welcome.  Assign a bridesmaid to take her aside if anything else happens. 

Whatever her motivations, her words are just plain inaccurate.  Maybe she’s feeling like she’s losing you, and she’s reacting out of a need to exert control over things (and you).  It isn’t OK, and it definitely isn’t true what she says about the dress. 

Maybe write her an email and tell her that you love her and you really want her support and positive presence for your wedding.  Ask her to please join you in your excitement about your plans and your dress, and to not be critical of those things as you get closer to the wedding and deal with other stresses.

And, for goodness sake, put that dress on, look at yourself in a mirror, and do a dance of joy.   The woman wearing it is strong, healthy, and drop-dead-gorgeous!  And, she’s going to marry the love of her life!

Post # 163
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You look. Stunning….. No worries. enjoy your day!

Post # 165
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Amazing!! I didn’t think it could look any more beautiful than your first photos… But wow.  Just wow.  🙂

Post # 166
Member
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Wellington Bride:  Can you un-invite her? What a cow.

It’s good if moms say “darling, that dress doesn’t flatter you, maybe try something else?” when you’re trying on dresses for the first time, but for her to say those mean things right before your final fitting is awful. Ugh.

*Hugs*

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