(Closed) Sad. My mother told me I look fat in my dress.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
Member
866 posts
Busy bee

You look absolutely beautiful and your dress is gorgeous. Obviously your mother has some issues she is trying to work through but don’t let it get to you! Your finace loves you as you are and he should, you are beautiful!

Post # 33
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My grandmother told me, on the weekend I got engaged, “You’re going to lose some weight for the wedding, aren’t you?”  I’m definitly on the curvy side and have always battled with my weight and she just broke my heart.

You look lovely.  Don’t doubt it and Don’t give your mom’s opinion the time of day on it.  It sucks that your mom has such a poor attitude, since i think most girls dream of having their mom be entirely present – emotionally and physically- for them for their wedding.  It took my mom a long while to come around to the idea that I was getting married, and longer to realize that just because I was getting married didn’t mean I was going to pack up, move to the other side of the globe and never speak to her again.  Maybe your mom’s cruddy actions are driven by not wanting to “lose” you like, or maybe she’s being cruel, but either way, know that she’s your mom and loves you, she just seems to struggle to show it. 

Post # 34
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Given the way your mother spoke to you about your weight, I’m not surprised you’ve previously had bulimia. I worked for a few years at an eating disorder unit and a lot of the kids there had unsupportive parents, sometimes with undiagnosed eating disorders themselves. Take no notice of what she said – you look really beautiful in that dress, it makes you look a million dollars. Also, look at your face and how happy you look in that photo!

Post # 35
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

She’s acting insane.  You look beautiful!!!!!!!!  And that dress is very flattering!

Post # 36
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano\'s Humble

omg. that’s horrible!

FWIW, I think its absolutely astonishing on you! you’re glowing, as a bride should be. your mom sounds like a class a beech! no offense.

i can’t even see your hips. but, long before I got pregnasnt the first time, I made a complaint about having wide hips. several of my guy friends said any man would be happy to be with me. I had child bearing hips O_o  that a guy would already know what I would look like after kids. and that back in the day, a “good” prospective wife, would have strong hips to bare many sons *eye roll*…buttheads! but, it totally made me feel better!

I know that was irrelevant. but I want you to know, you look perfect, your FH thinks so too. that’s all that matters. at the end of the day, you have to love yourself. in the meantime, buy duct tape, trash bags, and a shovel. PM me and we’ll figure out where to hide the(her) body 😉 hahaha!!

Post # 37
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My mother told me i looked pregnant in my dress.  It made me sad, and doubtful and it made me feel fat and unsexy.  And then the wedding day came and my husband looked at me and i didn’t think about her hurtful words again.  I know what a blow a mothers dissapointment can be, even when you know that you shouldn’t take them seriously, they’re your Mom! Every girl wants her moms approval.  Not all of us get it. You look lovely, and your partner will think you’re the most beautiful girl ever.

Post # 38
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano\'s Humble

ugh, can’t get text box to scroll and edit. BUT…bc I’m a beech myself, if my mom said that, I would buy her a scale for Christmas, and simply whisper “Mom, I’m not expecting. Perhaps you’re jumping into grannymode too quickly”. ladies, I’m 5’4″ and 184 pounds. I luuurve my curves. own em!

Post # 39
Member
8880 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I don’t even know what to say, I am so insulted by your mother’s comments. You are not fat, nowhere near it. You are beautiful and you AND your dress look absolutely stunning!

Post # 40
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

First, you look totally gorgeous.

Second, your mother is clearly a deranged, evil woman who clearly has nothing better to do than make other people feel horrible for no reason. Cut ties after (or before) the wedding, she’s bad news and will continue to make you ill. I’m certain she was the reason you developed bulimia to begin with.

Post # 41
Member
2297 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

you look radiant and your dress is to die for; so lush and romantic! congratulations on your recovery, and your committment to being healthy. i’m sorry that you’re dealing with your mother’s criticism, i know how much that can hurt.

stay positive, focus on how YOU feel, and remember that you look amazing!

Post # 42
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Oh my goodness, I am so very sorry that you had to endure those awful, hurtful comments from your own mother.  I am sure that her words were devastating to you, and they are not words that any daughter should have to hear.

You look so, so, SO beautiful in your dress.  You have such feminine features and such a lovely figure, and your dress is incredibly flattering to you.  Don’t let anyone, not even your mother, make you think differently!  Her comments are not indicative of a problem with your appearance, by any stretch of the imagination.  They are indicative of a problem with HER mental state, and nothing more.  She is obviously a very troubled lady, and I hope you do not take her criticisms to heart.  They are unfounded…you are really, really pretty.  🙂  I hope your mom gets the mental help that she so clearly needs.

Post # 43
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mothers can be cruel – mine gave me hell over gaining weight until she figured out that if she wanted to be in my life, she had to drop it (I “trained” her – I warned her that I didn’t want to hear it, then started walking out of the room if she brought it up or hanging up on her at the first mention).

You look beautiful! The problem is your mother, not you! You will be a gorgeous bride and I LOVE the dress on you.

 

Post # 44
Member
11369 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

How can I put this nicely?  Your mother is a shrew.

The dress is stunning on you.  No you do not look fat. 

The last person I recommend you listen to is that horrid mother of yours.  I’m sorry you have had to deal with her at all.

 

Post # 45
Member
11267 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

your mom is blind.  ignore her.  you look gorgeous.  that dress is perfect for you.  i love the bodice detail.

Post # 46
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I love the dress! You look great in it! Your instincts about not inviting mommy dearest were correct… IGNORE HER!

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