(Closed) Sad. My mother told me I look fat in my dress.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Before I even read your post, I saw the photo and thought. WOW. I love that dress on her. You really do look breathtaking. The neckline is perfect for you and the cap sleeves are prefect. I am not one who likes cap sleeves. But damn girl, you pull those off. The criss cross on the front of your dress really gives you a nice look and don’t you DARE take any volume out of that dress… it is amazing. You really do look beautiful hunny… this from a total stranger.

That being said. I grew up with my mother and grandmother. So when I went dress shopping I picked a few dresses that I loved and took both of them to look at what I liked. My Grandmother ripped me to shreds. I was fat. I looked homley. My rib cage was too big. I stood there and took it because my daughter was there too. Then I tried on dresses my Gram wanted which were way away from what I liked. I looked like something out of the 80’s. Then came the line. “I don’t know why we are here. You don’t deserve a white dress anyhow. I don’t think you should be having a wedding this is all a sham”. (I was pregnant at 21 and our families pushed us into getting married. I lasted 5 years and left him due to HIS drug problems. I went thru a horrible divorce where I was accused of everything HE did because HE lied to my family. they even tried to take me to rehab, who wouldn’t accept me because I didn’t have ANY drugs in my system the 3x they tested me). So when I found someone new I took my time, and 6 years later we are having a small destination wedding. But it is still his first so I would like to do somethings traditional, like the dress and such.  

When I got into the car, my kids (6 and 8) gave wise words. My daughter (6) told me I was beautiful no matter what because I was Mommy and Fiance loved me. Then Son (8) said “he doesn’t love you because of a dress, he loves what is IN the dress. Kind of like birthday presents. We don’t like the wrapping paper, that is for the cats, we like the stuff inside.”

There will always be someone who has SOMETHING to say. But it is a special day for you and Fiance… so focus on that and let her stress. You look amazing.. you truly do. Your Fiance is going to love it… Good luck.

Post # 48
Member
11369 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
@LadyCupcake:  

You’ve got yourself some very wise children.  Looks like you managed to break the cycle of craziness that your mom and Groomsmen have.

Well done, Lady Cupcake.

Post # 49
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ugh i’m so sorry hun. as someone who has struggled with an ED in the past I know what you’re going through. Your mother is ill herself and her comments are based in that and not based in any truth. You look stunning in your dress. I think it flatters your figure very nicely! I’ve seen pregnant brides and you my dear do not look like one of them!  DOn’t let her get to you. You’re stronger than her words and your ED!

Post # 50
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@Wellington Bride:  this makes me so mad!!!

you look perfect. absolutely beautiful. I cannot imagine why she would think it ok to say such things to you, especially given your history. But even without the history its just plain wrong. And very very inaccurate. She needs her eyes checked becuase all I see is a lovely bride who looks happy and stunning in her dress. Please please try and let her comments go and not get into your head anymore. When she starts (if she does again) just cut it off, roll your eyes and move on. Don’t give her more attention than she deserves. How horrible of her, reading your post actually made me like see red. Im so sorry she made you feel so bad.

Post # 51
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Wellington Bride:  Are you kidding?? I think you look amazing! I’m sorry your mother is doing this to you. As difficult as it might be, try to ignore her. Don’t let her ruin this for you. Your dress is gorgeous, and you look wonderful in it. Look at the big smile you have in your picture – that says a lot!

Post # 52
Member
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@LadyCupcake:  I loved your sweet story…your kids sound absolutely AMAZING.  What an incredible Mom you must be!  🙂

Post # 53
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

I think you look beautiful in it 🙂 not pregnant or fat. you have a pretty happy glow. mothers don’t always say the right things. I know it’s hard to ignore what she said. but you do look beautiful yourhusbands going to love it!

Post # 54
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You look stunning! And that dress fits you perfectly.  Please don’t let what your mother said get you down.  You are going to be a beautiful bride!!

Post # 55
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

Wow your mom is a bitch! You look amazing in your dress (which is gorgeous BTW!). Don’t listen to her and enjoy your upcoming wedding day!

Post # 56
Member
644 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Your dress is beautiful and you look great in it!!!!!

Post # 57
Member
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’ve seen this picture before and every time I do, I think, she looks like a princess.

I’m sorry your mother is this way, from your description of her, it sounds as if your bullemia may have stemed from having an overbearing, narcisstic, critical mother. It’s hard because she’s your mother, but sometimes the best thing to do is realize that someone else is a sick person and no matter how much we love them, they are caustic to us. I think you made the right choice to exclude her from the final fitting and I wish you the best of luck and all happiness.

Post # 58
Member
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

hugs. I think you look gorgeous and that smile on your face is priceless. You can certainly tell that this is YOUR dress… (not hers, or anyone else’s for that matter). This dress is very flattering. She probably has some issues somewhere down the line to work out, let it roll off if you can. This is YOUR day, YOUR dress and you look amazing 🙂

Post # 59
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

You look stunning. I know exactly how you feel, because my mother has done the exact same thing to me, through the whole dress process. I sent her a photo of me in my gown, and all she said was add sleeves because my arms are enormous and it’s all she can see in the photo. She went on and on about how disappointing it is that I haven’t lost weight and blah blah. 

mothers can be the most awful bitches. Worse than any high school mean girl. Especially when They have their own body image issues to throw into the mix. Please don’t let her get to you. Your dress is beautiful and you look beautiful in it. ive decided To keep my mother out of the whole process, including getting ready. If they can’t behave like a mother should, they don’t get the privilege of being the MOB. 

please feel free to PM me for solidarity! 

Post # 60
Member
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

i think youlook fabulous…..i love the top of the dress!  and i agree w pp your creamy skin looks amazing with the dress

your mom doesnt have a clue! sounds like she is jealous…..is she married?

Post # 61
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You look absolutely beautiful in your dress!!!  You definitely have a bridal glow in that dress – you look so happy!

 

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