Post # 1
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
Let me preface this by saying that the most important thing to us is our friend’s health, not our ceremony…
To make a long story long, my Fiance and I met on the dude ranch that we’re getting married at. The owner of the ranch, let’s call her M, was going to be our officiant as she basically introduced us and has done a few before. She’s an incredible person and would have done an excellent job.
However, last week M was flown by helicopter to a hospital because of a brain injury. I don’t know the specifics, but she had some crainial bleeding and is now in the ICU with doctors trying to relieve her brain pressure. She’s had thousands of people reach out to her and is in incredibly good hands. Our hearts and prayers are with her now.
This puts us in a pickle. We were planning on driving up to the ranch (6 hour drive) over Memorial Day weekend (May 25) to meet with M and go over other details. Right now, I don’t think we’ll even be lucky enough to bring her flowers. So I don’t know what to do for our officiant, as I’d like to meet with him/her then.
I have a few options: A) wait for doctors to tell us if she will be healthy enough to perform our ceremony (which I’m not thinking is likely, B) ask another friend/ ranch person to get ordained to perform it (although he will be incredibly busy with M out, or C) try to get recommendations from friends on someone (keep in mind we’re getting married on a Sunday) or find a random person online who has done thousands before.
Help! While we just want M to get better for herself, we really would love the honor of having her confirm our marriage.
Post # 3
Member
360 posts
Helper bee
- Wedding: September 2009 - Westwind YWCA camp
wow. Let me preface this by saying I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My fiancé’s grandma is going to officiate our wedding, and I can’t imagine anyone else doing it!
I think you should seriously start considering other close relatives/friends to officiate. Just in case. If things do take a turn for the worse, at least you won’t have to think about scrambling around for a new officiant..
{{hug}}
Post # 4
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
Oh no! I’m so sorry! Did they fly her to Denver or up to Montana?
As hard as it is, I voted for waiting to see what the doctor says. You still have just over 4 months so I wouldn’t stress about your time frame too much yet. I think she’ll be able to tell you sooner rather than later whether she’ll be recovered by then.
Sending lots of good wishes her way!
Post # 5
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
Thanks Miss Rye Bread. It is really hard, so thank you so much for the hugs. The only issue with asking another person to get ordained is his lack of experience/ stress with managing the ranch while M is out. I don’t want to add too much onto his plate, but I do think he could do a good job… (plus it’d save us some money!)
Post # 6
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
Thanks Caitlanc! You’re such a help…
They flew her to Billings from Buffalo. I’m just worried that she won’t ever recover, but that could just be the pessimist inside of me. I think we’ll find out tomorrow what the doctor’s plans are.
Post # 7
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
I just wanted to give an update for the day- M is slowly getting off the sedatives and is yawning and moving her arms. She’s also breathing on her own (with a backup ventilator)! So exciting!
Maybe we won’t have to get someone else afterall! Here’s hoping!
Post # 8
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
What about asking someone else as a backup, letting them know the situation and that it would only be if she can’t make it? That way you still have the option of her doing it if she’s well enough. I’d think that a back up person would be understanding, especially if it was a friend.
Post # 9
Member
15 posts
Newbee
I would consider asking someone else. Although M might be better, it might be stressful for her to perform your wedding. Brain injuries take time. It might be a nice idea to have 2 people perform the ceremony, M and someone else. Share the duties and responsibilities. Help ease your mind and M’s. Just a suggestion. My prayers are with her.
Post # 10
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
So glad to hear she’s doing better! Keep us posted!
Post # 11
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
Thanks Ladies! We’ve heard that she is out of the ICU and will probably move into a full time rehab facility next week. So great news there.
The bad news is that she’ll need 3-4 hours of rehab 5 days a week for a few months (maybe longer). This definitely rules her out to be our officiant, as she might be well enough but it will definitely be too much stress.
We are going up to the ranch in two weeks and at that point I think my Fiance and I are going to ask the manager, J, if he’ll do it for us. He’ll also be our DOC in a way, so I hope it’s not too much to ask. If it is, we’ll find a local justice of the peace or something.
Thank you so so much for the kind words. M will get better slowly. I am just so thankful that we didn’t lose her forever.
Post # 12
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
It sounds like it would be wise to go ahead and find somebody else. If she is better in time for the wedding, perhaps you can honor her in another way. Better to go ahead and find someone whom you know will be available, and I am sure she would more than understand.