Post # 1
Hello Bees, I have sad news….My Fiance and I have recently separated. He has recently been hospitalised for 3 weeks and diagnosed with severe depression (something I have suspected for 2yrs) and sadly 2 days before his discharge he began to isolate himself from me. I have struggled and fought for the last few weeks to save our 5 year relationship however he is now acting quite manic and unrealistic. He is now been arrogant and dishonest (very out of character) and I have reason to believe he has already started a sexual relationship. It is very hard to watch him not grieve for what we had and what we have lost. I am overwhelmingly sad a lot of the time and miss him terribly and feel broken hearted at the thought of living my life without him. I have managed to get all of our deposits back or credits given. But I am grieving the loss of our marriage not the wedding that never was. So if you see me commenting around the boards etc. It is no longer as a bride-to-be. Part of me feels like I should stop coming on the bee, but so far it’s not causing me to feel worse, just nice to hear what you are all up to 🙂
Post # 3
I’m sorry to hear this 🙁 please stick around, there’s a lot more than wedding talk on the bee!
Post # 4
@Berrymagick: Please don’t stop commenting. Just because you’re newly separated doesn’t mean you have to stop. We are a large community, and we are here to help and to listen.
I’m so sorry for what’s happened. I sincerely hope things work out for you.
Things like this happen for a reason. Maybe something good will come of this.
Post # 5
@Berrymagick: You definitely don’t need to stop coming to the Bee … As @deetroitwhat: said, there’s a lot more going on here than just wedding talk.
As for what happened, I’m so sorry. As someone who suffers from depression, I know it can be very tough on those who love you. I hope you’re able to move on and find happiness again.
Post # 6
@Berrymagick: I’m so sorry to hear this.
It is always so incredibly heartbreaking to watch someone you love disappear into a mental illness or depression. I watched a friend slowly develop bipolar with psychotic symptoms and it was absolutely heartrending knowing that you could do nothing.
I echo the others you should definitely stick around. I think the Bee is a great community filled with strong caring women.
My heart goes out to you. I hope you continue to be strong.
Post # 7
@FEDORAble: It is very hard to watch, and even harder to accept that I can’t stop/fix it; I’ve spent a long time frustrated and fighting for him to get the best care and right treatment. It was much easier when he was depressed and wanting help, but now that he is rejecting me and other important people in his life it is becoming far less possible to help. I tried to pass along certain behaviours (I believe point to bipolar) to his outpatient case manager, but I feel like I wasn’t taken seriously. So now I have to walk away and hopefully he will one day take charge and responsibility for his recovery.
Post # 8
@Berrymagick: When you said manic I thought bipolar as well.
I hope you can find solace in the fact that you went above and beyond for this man but now it’s time for you to take care of yourself.
Your own emotional health is important too and I think by doing so much for him you were neglecting yourself!
I’m so sorry that you had to experience this. I hope the pain will subside and that you will find comfort in knowing that you did so much!
Post # 9
I am so so sorry, please stick around! I can imagine it must be hard for you fighting for the relationship so long when he is suffering from this illness. I myself was diagnosed with major depression a year ago, and was diagnosed with bipolar a couple of weeks ago. It is hard for family members and loved ones as well as those suffering from the illness. I am just lucky that my Fiance is choosing not to give up on us, and is sticking by me through it all.
Can I recommend a book: “How to cope with mental illness in your family” by Marsh and Dickens. I know he wasn’t technically your family yet and that now you two are separated so it is slightly different, but the book is focused on looking after yourself and how to cope mentally and emotionally when someone you care about has a mental illness. It might help you. It help me understand more of what my family is going through seeing me battle this illness.