Post # 1
I finished my last pack of BCP and AF just left town. I have purchaed TCOYF and have not had time to get into it yet. Hoping to start it this week.
Is there such thing as “safe days” of the month were Darling Husband and I can go about our business without any protection and be fairly confident we would not end up pregnant?
We are planning on waiting to officially TTC starting in August, due to a big trip planned in Sept and we are just kind of hoping to enjoy the spring/summer and then start trying for a mid-2013 baby.
When i met with my doctor, she said to BD every other day from days 10-18 to increase changes of a BFP. Now, if we are hoping for BFN’s (who hopes for that?! LOL!) until we are ready, are we okay to use the PO method until after ovulation? Is there a way to know that I have ovulated and we are safe to use no PO/barrier/other methods for the remainder of the month? Safer to use PO all the time until we’re ready to start TTC?
I am sure reading TCOYF will help answer these questions, but now that AF has come and gone and i’m off the pill… I am needing answers for this month before I get that book read LOL.
Any suggestions/advice for me?
Thanks ladies, you are all wonderful! (i am addicted to this board, btw :))
Also – we would not be dissapointed/sad/shocked/upset if we got a BFP not trying/happened in the meantime. It would be a welcome surprise however, if we can hold off until we “planned” to start trying that would be most ideal. 🙂
Post # 3
If you KNOW you’ve ovulated, then you’re “safe” starting 3 days after that. The rules to find out “how” you know that are a bit more complicated than I or probably anyone feels like typing out, so you should really just read the book.
As for the PO method…well, some people have had it work “successfully,” but many people have also had that fail…either through “user-error” or just b/c there IS some sperm that comes out earlier. As for the people who swear it “works,” well, unless they’ve also gotten pregnant successfully, then there is no way to prove that they’re just not infertile. And, it may just be a matter of time for them. So, if you’re using the PO method when you are *most* fertile, well, then it’s even more likely that you’ll get pregnant, same with a condom breaking. (if it does.)
Post # 4
@StaceyA: Is there a reason why you and your husband don’t want to use condoms? If the issue is a latex allergy, there are polyurethane condoms available that are just as effective. Inconvenience is an issue, but you are only looking for a short term fix for the next few months right? As for breakage, the likelyhood of that is so small. I have never actually seen one break myself, nor have I heard form any of my girlfriends that this has happened to them. Breakage comes from incorrect storage and incorrect use, which won’t be a problem if you spend 1min reading the instructions. IMO this is your best bet, lowest risk, pretty low cost.
As for predicting your safe days, there’s this thing called a “ladycomp” that takes your temperature and stores the data, uses some algorithyms to predict your fertility, then tells you if it is “safe” or not. Once you start trying to conceive, you can use it to try to see when you are most fertile. Anyway, something to consider…
Post # 5
As far as I know, there are no guaranteed “safe days” even if you know when you’ve ovulated. It is possible to ovulate more than once a month so you can never really know for sure.
As for the pull out method – I have two cousins who are the result of it not working. Sperm is released even before ejaculation so pulling out does not guarantee that none is in there.
Just use condoms. It’s easy and cheap and there are many alternatives for every kind of allergy.
Post # 6
@Black-Eyed-Susan: It is possible to ovulate more than once… but only within 24 hours of the first egg being released. (which is why there is the extra 3-4 days tagged on.) Perhaps some people who are unfamiliar with their mucus might *think* they have ovulated, if they don’t know the rules very well, but especially if you have verified it with a clear temperature shift then you are safe. (once again, just read the book.) It is IMPOSSIBLE to randomly ovulate again after this point. I don’t know why you are advocating condom use, since they are one of the most likely contraceptive measures to fail. If you are correctly following the rules laid down in TCOYF, you are FAR more likely to have a condom break while you are fertile than to get pregnant with using the TCOYF rules!
Post # 7
@red_rose: Thank you for the advice, much appreciated! I’m sure once i read the book things will become a little clearer. I have heard that their “rules” are great to follow and can help answer my current questions. It’s amazing how everything can change so much after relying on the BCP so heavily for the past 15 years!!
I want to learn about all this so I never have to go back on BCP and avoid using condoms. There are no allergies etc but I honestly don’t want Darling Husband to have to go back to them, ever if possible. I know PO method is also not 100% safe (or anywhere close, perhaps) but we are okay with that. Hopefully once i read the book and figure out how this works we’ll be able to safely do things until we are ready.
Post # 8
@red_rose: I meant to use condoms as an extra precaution instead of the PO method. If the OP is already doing everything in TCOFY and still wants extra protection, I believe condoms to be the best option because the physical barrier is more reliable than pulling out.
Though I do understand not wanting to use condoms. My SO and I hate them!
Post # 9
@Black-Eyed-Susan: Thanks BES! I just started reading the book (more of a textbook really LOL) and seeing where that takes us. Hoping to avoid condoms at all costs – something about being married and still having to use them just doesn’t work for me LOL. It sounds totally silly, but it’s the truth!
Thankfully Darling Husband already agreed to get the snip after we’re done kids so this becomes a non issue. LOL!
Hoping the book gives me some answers and while we may not be the safest with our PO method plan I think for now it will be the one that works for us during this time. And again, if we were to get pregnant in the meantime it would not be a bad thing at all 🙂