princessbelle: There’s a landmine coming your way with this. He has rigid expectations of how things are going to go; you’re telling him that it may not be possible to have all of that done all of the time. Some of the more recent threads surfacing here shows just what happens when this finally comes around.<br />
More frightening is that he was pampered by mama; did he ever live alone in between going from her to living with you? That’s one of the worst possible signs. They’ve always had someone else to take care of the housework, so they don’t fully realize how grating and exhausting it can be.
Now is probably the time to start thinking about a realistic housework schedule; maybe 3 – 4 nights a week, you’ll get dinner on the table. I’d go over with him how many feedings, diaper changes, etc., you’re likely to be facing in the first several months (by 3 – 6 months, some of that WILL taper off, but feedings generally take at least 15 minutes…and it can be difficult to do something else while you’re holding a bottle or breastfeeding). Giving him a realistic look at the time expenditure of caring for that baby could pay off (i.e., you may spend 2 – 4 hours per day changing diapers, giving the baby bottles, calming the baby down, etc., if not more).
What I think would really remedy this? Maybe every Saturday, it’s his responsibility to watch the baby for a few hours. It’ll give him an eye-opener into what it’s really like. It’s sad to me that your husband seems more focused on the tit-for-tat rather than on making this work for BOTH of you.
We have agreed that I’ll be getting up in the night to care for our baby the majority of the time. However, weekends are fair game for either of us. He’s agreed to let me have 1 -2 nights a week when he gets home from work to go out, go to the gym, etc.
He will, after all, get to have breaks, go out to lunch with friends, have some down time here and there throughout his day. If I’m not raising our kid, I’ll either be working (I work from home part time) or I’ll be doing housework. Not much time for going out to lunch or fooling around during the day.