(Closed) SAHM Bees (Past or Present) I’m just curious…

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 4
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

OK, not a Stay-At-Home Mom.. but there are LARGE variables

1) where you live (housing cost, public education)

2) your own expectations of education and other items (sports, college, etc)

3) other lessons (piano, gymnastics, mommy and me gymborees, etc)

4) soooo many other expectations (vacation, flying to visit grandparents/parents vs driving, birthday parties, clothes, etc)

What someone makes is so variable depending on where they live and what they expect their life to be

You have to decide what you want, what you can afford in your area and what it will cost

Post # 5
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well I don’t mean to hijack the babiness of this thread, but right now I am a stay at home puppy mom!

Its about living below your means, frugality and sacrifice!

Take a look at your bills that are an absolute and then compare them with what one income would make. From that you can adjust like would downsizing to one car save you on insurance bills, maintenance & gas etc? You can plan as much as you want and save for a lifetime, but we have no idea what tomorrow brings!

Get rid of the fancy stuff like special hair appointments,  gym memberships, eating out once a week, starbucks- whatever things can be done by yourself or replicated cheaper! There are thousands of tips on how to save online with meal planning, making your own things from scratch ( laundry detergent, deodorant, tooth paste etc) It all adds up and can be the difference between Stay-At-Home Mom and working ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am a Stay-At-Home Mom right now because I lost my job :S I love being home, but finacially it is tough! We are making it by not buying ANYTHING that don’t absolutely need. I also look for coupons, and buy those items (no, I’m not a crazy couponer!), I don’t leave the house and drive anywhere unless I absolutely have to. I make dinners, and that is what my Darling Husband takes for lunch. I am trying to get on WIC because I am also pregnant right now, and it would really help out with food right now, and when the baby comes. We don’t go out really, unless we have saved some extra money to do so. We find fun things to do at home, or around our home, or have friends or family come over and play games, etc.We lowered our cell phone plan so our bill is cheaper, got the cheaper Netflix, I stopped getting coffees and make it at home now,I don’t get my hair done, or my nails anymore, I don’t buy the expensive shampoo and conditioner, etc. Because I was a single mom to start too, when summer came, I cut my son’s jeans into shorts. They still fit in the waist, but were too short, so it worked perfect. Same with his shirts into tanks. He doesn’t know the difference, and I couldn’t afford to buy new wardrobes every season!

I think the smartest thing you could do to see if you could make it finacially would be for you to start putting all your paychecks into savings, and trying to live off one income.

Post # 9
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@Rosie Girl:

I think the smartest thing you could do to see if you could make it finacially would be for you to start putting all your paychecks into savings, and trying to live off one income.

Great idea. If you cant do this, you cant be a Stay-At-Home Mom because with a kids is even more expensive.

Post # 10
Member
1040 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would love to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. I would never mention this to Fiance though, for the same reason, that we probably couldn’t make it. He’s a paramedic and makes awesome money, BUT with a house payment and daily needs, it just wouldn’t work. ๐Ÿ™ FI’s mom is a Stay-At-Home Mom but his dad owns a business. I’ve heard that kids are crazy expensive, so that doesn’t really help things. ๐Ÿ™

Post # 12
Member
14656 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think we could make it work if we HAD to, but I know he would not want me to, and I dont think it would be very realistic either.  We make about the same so we would basically be cutting the income we are accustomed to in half, wouldnt be able to max out our 401ks and Roth IRAs, travel, or save very much.  We both dont want to continue the grind of work or delay retriement so as great as being a Stay-At-Home Mom, unless he LOVED his job and could make at least double, it just wont be possible.

Post # 13
Member
361 posts
Helper bee

Being a Stay-At-Home Mom is about being completely selfless. You give up your identity, your frivolous obsessions, and partially your independance. Of course, what you gain in return in well worth it. Yes, starbucks and eating out and shoe shopping and spa days with the girls and [insert random thing here] all goes buh bye if he doesn’t make a ton of money. But – in return, you learn to get creative. You meet other moms and make plans with your kids. You don’t need 30 pairs of heels, the sand at the park will screw them up anyway. Spa days become mani-pedi nights at home with little fingers and toes and big doe eyes looking up at you like you’re the queen of the world. Wanting to see every movement of you putting on lipgloss, because she wants to be just. like. you. Learning to make DIY natural beauty products is fun too. You don’t have to DIY things like deodorant unless you want to. The biggest change is learning how to live with what you have. You cut back, you make sacrifices. You find out just exactly what you can indeed live without. You learn to bargain shop. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible. I’ve been a single mom for almost 5 years, was a Stay-At-Home Mom before that. 

If you want to know if you can do it, do what PP suggested. Put your paycheck into savings. Live off his. See what it takes. If you can do it, bravo. If you can’t, you either need to learn to, or get ready for daycare expenses (which depending on where you live, could be the same as what you’re earning). 

Post # 14
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was a Stay-At-Home Wife for a year and it was super tight.  I could barely buy anything for myself because we were still trying to save a decent bit and my husband was making $40k at first.

Post # 15
Member
2190 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@AmeliaBedelia: So I’ve been a Stay-At-Home Mom for 2 1/2 years but I was suppose to go back to work next month, I think I’m going to decline because I’m pregnant again. Darling Husband makes around 80k gross and we have about $3000 a month in bills so sometimes it’s tight but we’re still saving and paying off debt. I’ve never felt financially unstable though…

Post # 16
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MeAndDubby:That was really sweet…

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