(Closed) SAHM or Working Mom?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Will you be or are you...
    A Stay At Home Mom : (40 votes)
    26 %
    A Full-Time Working Mom : (72 votes)
    46 %
    A Part-Time Working Mom : (38 votes)
    25 %
    A Casual Working Mom : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Stay-At-Home Mom with a flexible home-based job (I’m a writer/editor) would be best for me. I’ve tried doing the intense-careerist thing, and it was disastrous, I was so miserable! I’m also a homebody; I really need my alone time and space, and am perfectly content being at home most of the time.

    But I wouldn’t be able to *just* raise kids (as simplistic as that makes it sound), because I wouldn’t be feeding my passions through it.

    No one should make themselves miserable trying to do something that doesn’t satisfy their soul, whether it be full time parenting or full time working!

    Post # 48
    Member
    2239 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I didn’t vote because I will be working full time from home when we have a baby but that wasn’t an option. So kind of both? I am a wedding photographer but I also hold a full time “corporate” job. I will forgo the corporate gig when we procreate lol. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I have a Master Plan, but I know that it is idealistic: I want to take 6 mo. to 1 year off after the first baby, then start working from home part-time and send the baby to part-time preschool/daycare. Ideally, it would be a freelance/contract type thing with a lot of flexibility. I currently work in social media marketing, so I am hopeful that there will be opportunities for me to do this. I just hope we can afford for me to go part-time.

    Post # 50
    Member
    1932 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2008

    I will be a Stay-At-Home Mom for several reasons. 

    I only have my AA degree (no student debt) and JUST finished it (this month, it’s just a gen ed), and every job I’ve done in the past (retail, childcare, food service) would only bring in the equivalent amont of $$ for childcare. So, it’s cheaper is my first reason.

    Secondly, while my baby is young I think it’s very valuable to be with him full time and raise him on my own. The only way I would do differently is taking a PT job with different hours than my husband so that one of us would be with out son. I think 6 weeks is too soon for any parent to return to work/leave their baby FT. Just personal opinion 🙂

    However, I agree wholeheartedly with what @MrsWrangler: said. I think it’s SO important for a woman to be able to support herself if the need arises. That’s why I knew I needed at least my AA before getting pregnant, and I plan on finishing my BA within the next five years. I want to be able to help out financially if anything happens. 

    IF I had a four-year+ degree with debt – this would be completely different. I would keep working. If I had a four year degree, I might work part-time. I have been considering getting a BSN so that I can work part time. I would eventually like to work part time so that we could do more financially – like take vacations, buy a house, etc. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    1509 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I actually quit working about a month before I got pregnant.  T-11 weeks until I turn from a stay at home wife into a stay at home mom! 

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    1932 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2008

    @Mrs. Louboutin: I did the same thing, everyone thought I was crazy for it, but I couldn’t imagine working through this pregnancy. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be! And we really did need this time to learn how to adjust our finances. I’m glad that I have had this time “to myself” at home to prepare for baby.

    Post # 53
    Member
    3586 posts
    Sugar bee

    @miss-spunkin: YES! I worked while pregnant-teaching 4yr olds.(back at it  now after she was born in Sept) It was hell, wobbling after them. Lord, it was rough.LOL

    Post # 54
    Member
    3798 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’d love to work part time. I guess it will just depend on the situation when we get to that point. Not sure if after getting a grad degree I want to stay at home and not use it, but I have a feeling I’d be so in love with being a mom, that I won’t want to work!

    Post # 55
    Member
    2302 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Full time working mom. We might be able to swing it on just husband’s income, but it would be a drastic change. Not so much for me, I’m already pretty frugal, but husband is a spender. We would probably have to downgrade at least one of our cars, and stop eating out 5-6 nights a week, and not take vacations (I love vacations!), and scale back other ways. And there would be no money for savings, no college fund, no emergency fund. That kind of life scares the crap out of me. If husband and I don’t have X amount of money in the bank, we both flip out.

    All that being said, if we could swing it without any major change in lifestyle I still don’t think I would. I took my job out of desperation and spent 2 years miserable and feeling like a failure compared to all my CPA friends from college. I busted my ass trying to change my job description and volunteering for more work, and 4 years in (and 7 years post college) I am finally at a point where I am doing interesting work and making decent money and I can’t stand the thought of blowing it. Honestly, in this economy, I think by staying home you are taking a risk if it’s someday your intention to come back to work. Great for those who worked it out, but I bet for every one of them there’s another 10 that were permanently left behind and had their careers take an irreparable hit.

    I love my baby and miss her like crazy all day at work and live for the weekends when I can be with her, but I don’t think being a full time Stay-At-Home Mom would make me happy.

    Post # 56
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I will probably be a Stay-At-Home Mom in the beginning and go back to work part-time when the kids get older. I don’t have much of a career right now… I had trouble finding a job when I graduated and am an admin assistant. I don’t make much money and with the cost of daycare it probably wouldn’t make much sense for me to go back to work. I would be more than happy to give up this crappy job to stay home and raise our children. 🙂

    Post # 57
    Member
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I would LOVE to be a Stay-At-Home Mom and I’m really hoping that we can swing it.  I’m a teacher, so I’m thinking that maybe I can supply teach once or twice a week?  It pays pretty well so here’s hoping.

    Post # 58
    Member
    1509 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @miss-spunkin: OMG that is the same with me!  Had I not quit working and gotten pregnant, I would have quit pretty quickly.  My first trimester I was sick that I was almost hospitalized, this lasted until week 19.  Weeks 20 – 29 were actually pretty good, other than the fact I was put on bed rest since my baby is so freaking small (she is only 4% in size – grow grow grow!!!).  Once I hit week 30, I got the first migraine of my life and the only thing I can take for it is tylenol.  It subsides during the day somewhat, but comes back with a vengeance every morning around 3:00 am and I wake up in tears.  I get so tired from not sleeping that I basically nap most of the day now if my migraine subsides.  Bascially, there is no possible way that I could have worked during this.  I envy those who have the super easy pregnancies… sigh.

    Post # 59
    Member
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I will be a Stay-At-Home Mom once our first baby arrives.  I feel satisfied in my career and work experiences and feel comfortable leaving them for a while.  I have two master’s degrees and have worked in both of my career fields for nearly ten years (total) since grad school.  Half of that time has been spent working in international settings and having amazing experiences, and the other half was working with a not for profit organisation I’d dreamed of joining for ages.   I also work in two fields (teaching and social work) that are pretty easy to return to once the kids are in school full time.  

    We are also in the very fortunate position that Darling Husband has an excellent paying job so it is not essential for me to work right now.  We live a comfortable life and have significant savings.  I haven’t worked since our wedding when I moved back to Australia full time so it shouldn’t really be much of a change to our finances once the baby arrives – with the exception of maybe not putting quite as much towards our savings every month.

    I may also pursue another master’s degree whilst I am home with the kids as I love studying and can further enhance my skills whilst I’m off work.   

    I just love the idea of staying home with my kids and enjoying them.  I’m not saying this happens to everyone, but I have a few friends who went back to work full time right away and they just don’t seem to enjoy their kids.  They’re always stressed out and complaining about the demands of the kids etc.  I know they love their kids but they don’t seem to enjoy them.  I know that’s not everyone but I just wouldn’t ever want that to be me.  

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