Post # 1
I was wondering if I could get some advice / opinions from the other mom Bees. My DD is almost 4 months old and I have been very lucky and fortunate to stay home with her this whole time. When I found out I was pregnant I was working full time in a management role. DH and I talked and agreed I would leave my current job as daycare would leave me only bringing home a small amount each month. The plan was for me to stay home for 12 weeks and then find something part time because still being home with DD was very important to me. DD and I had breastfeeding/ weight gain issues and I got hit pretty bad with PPD / PPA. DH has been very supportive and patient and said for me to take care of myself and her and we changed the plan of me going back to work part time to 6 months.
My old employer contacted me and has an opportunity for me to work part time beginning mid August when DD would be almost 8 months old. I will work 2 days a week for 8 hours and I can pick the days and change them up each week. After factoring in childcare gas etc. I would bring home about $500 a month. DH thinks it’s perfect although he wishes I was making a bit more money and thinks I should definitely do it. The problem I am having is now I don’t want to go to work at all. I know a big part of it is I still have yet to leave DD with anyone. So thinking of leaving her regularly for that long of time seems very overwhelming to me. Also because of DH job schedule all the preparation to go to work will fall on me getting her to a sitter picking her up etc. The other thing i an struggling with is DD is still so dependent on me. She only naps when I lay down with her, likes to be constantly held, and her taking a bottle has been a hit or miss. I know August is a few months away and maybe she’ll be more independent by then it’s just something I’m thinking about. 2 days a week is not much at all and I am fortunate that is all I have to work but I can’t help but want to stay home full time with DD. DH said we could talk about me staying home full time for longer but I know he wants me back at work and would feel more comfortable with me contributing. Him being the sole provider is a big burden to carry and I recognize that. I also realize a lot of my thoughts and fears regarding returning to work are stemming from my PPD / PPA and I plan to bring them up and get the opinions of the counselor and other moms at my support group today.
Just wondering if any other mommas had any advice or insight for me. Is working part time worth $500 a month? Should I try to stay home longer? I don’t think I’d find another job making as much as they are offering me so I’d have to work more hours to bring home the same amount. The only other option is working opposite schedule from DH to eliminate childcare however that is tricky bc he works over time at a moments notice and family time is important to me. What are your thoughts?
Post # 2
For me personally $500 a month would not make it worth it for me. I am a stay at home mom but I do think working part time is a great option..it gets lonely for me at times as I don’t leave the house much with two toddlers. But for $500 a month it wouldn’t be worth the dropping off/picking up of daycare etc. I would speak to your husband about realistically how much money you need to contribute and go from there. Some people want to continue their careers despite making very little after childcare costs so that is something to think about…not sure if taking a break from your job for a few years would make it hard for you to go back someday if you wanted to. Working opposite schedules I doubt would help your PPD/PPA…I agree family time is important. It seems like you want to stay home so I would talk to your husband about it. If you can afford it there’s nothing wrong with staying home!
Post # 3
I don’t have a lot of advice except that this board stretches across countries and I think cost of living varies so much that it’s hard to tell if $500 is worth it bc it’s such a relative number.
How much of your budget is $500?
Post # 4
I’m a stay at home mom and I would probably do it. It is very flexible and you already know the job so it should be easy to slip back into. If you are going to go back anytime soon I think you should take the opportunity.
Post # 5
Thanks for the replies. $500 a month would be about 15% of our budget however it would be “extra” as we are living fine without it now. We pretty much break even every month and that’s with DH working some over time. We do not have anything left over to put into savings right now but have close to 10k saved already. DH said if I took a part time job he would still work over time as it is almost triple what I make a hour so it’s not like if I take the job he would work substantially less.
Post # 6
To be honest, if you can’t afford to save on your husbands’s salary alone then you can’t really afford to not work. What if an emergency comes up? Do you never want a vacation? That 10k in savings will trickle away pretty fast.
It may only by 500 a month, but also do not forget the value it will bring you in terms of getting your out of the house, having contact with adults, not having a career break etc.
Post # 7
In your case I would probably do it but that’s because I don’t consider having nothing leftover each month to save as “fine”. Do you own your home or cars? If so that $10k savings could be drained quickly with one emergency repair. What’s the annual out of pocket maximum on your health insurance? Ours is $10k and if yours is similar one major accident or illness would wipe out your entire savings.
A 15% increase in net income is pretty solid. Some people who make more money than you might say “oh $500 isn’t worth it” but if they compare it to what 15% of their income is and realize how much they’d be giving up I think more people would say to take it.
Post # 8
For me, working part time feels like the best of both worlds. I wouldn’t like working full time but being home full time isn’t good for me, either. I don’t make a lot of money at my job (although the extra income is certainly nice), however, I really enjoy my job, seeing people, getting out of the house and having a purpose other than parenthood, etc. I also do shorter days. Being away a full eight plus hours when my son was still breastfeeding frequently would have been stressful for me as well as he didn’t take a bottle well, either. Could you do four four hour days or do you have to do two eight hour days? Although an eight month old will be eating a little solid food which will help. We also started my son on a sippy cup of pumped milk around that age and that worked great. In terms of naps, I do think it is good for a baby to have other adults that can care for her, and bond with other adults besides the parents. My son has been going to the same babysitter since he was a baby (he’ll be three in July) and they have a great relationship! She’s become a family friend to us. I’m due next month with my second baby and she’s at the top of our list of people to call when I go into labor. She just lives a few minutes away which is awesome. It really does “take a village” and having more people in your village is always a good thing, IMO. Anyway, best of luck with whatever you decide! Going back to work was hard for me at first but ultimately the best thing all around for our family.
Post # 9
You’re very, very lucky to have this opportunity, and I would do it if I were you. Most part time jobs will pay you minimum wage.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
I think you should take advantage of this unique opportunity. Like a pp I could never be comfortable having no money leftover to save each month, especially with children in the family. Thats not fine at all. $10k is a nice start but it can go quickly in an emergency and if you won’t be able to continue saving at least a little bit every month I don’t think passing up a job where you can still contribute while only working 2 days a week is worth it. Plus it doesn’t seem like your husband is thrilled with the idea of you being a permanent Stay-At-Home Mom and his opinion is important since this isn’t what you previously agreed to and places all the financial responsibility on him. Also, if you ever decide to work full time again or find a different job it’ll be a lot easier with continuous experience vs. a long gap in your employment history. Maybe sit down together and go over the pros and cons to see what will be best for all of you.
Post # 11
This sounds like a great opportunity for you and your family–for you to maintain contacts and skills should you need to return to the workforce full time (life happens) and for your family to be able to save some money.
There are great benefits to getting out of the house to interact on a professional level with other adults and you would still be able to devote most of your time to your family. It may be on you to get yourself and DD out the door those two mornings but there is no reason your DH can’t be responsible for getting anything that needs to go with DD ready the night before.
Post # 12
This sounds like the perfect opportunity. TBH you sound a bit selfish and dismissive of your husbands concerns. $500/month of pure savings is a great amount. Thats $6k per year, which will definitely help your savings account, or help offset any costs should anything happen (roof repair, illness, car troubles, college savings account, etc). I think you should talk to your husband and really HEAR him. You say family time is important to you – but you don’t seem to care that he doesnt get a break? Only that YOU get to put your daughter down, and that YOU dont have to leave her with anyone and that YOU would be the one picking her up/dropping her off. There are 3 people in your family now, don’t ignore your H!
It’s also a great way to keep your skills and contacts updated, so you aren’t so far behind when/if you go back full time.
Post # 13
If his income is just about breaking even each month, then $500 is nothing to turn your nose up at imo. I would persoanlly not be comfortable not working if there was no room in the budget for any savings with just him working.
Post # 14
You’re not breaking even if you can contribute to retirement accounts, car/house maintenance savings accounts, college savings accounts, etc. Where I live most SAHMs send their kiddos to preschool part time to aid in socialization and eventually pre-K curriculum so it sounds like this job offer would be a perfect way to get your baby the socialization she needs and make some much needed money.
Post # 15
Income, outlet and flexibility. I’d jump on it. Sounds ideal. Babies are very adaptable. Of course you’re not comfortable with the thought cause your haven’t been open to it. You daughter is not dependant its simply what she’s used to. August is more than enough time get your child used the transition.