(Closed) SAHM vs Working Part Time

posted 4 years ago in Babies
Post # 16
Member
2876 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

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jellybellynelly :  <– this

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MrsJet :  “Pretty much breaking even every month” with your husband working overtime is not being in a good financial place IMO.  It sounds like he HAS to work overtime – how is that fair that you get to stay home all day while he has to work extra?

I would take the part time job and relieve him of some stress.  It’s really, really hard being the sole bread winner.  Your daughter isn’t going to be a baby forever.  I think keeping your foot in the door is really important. You never know what can happen.  Saying your daughter will only rest with you is a bit of an excuse. if that $500 is pure extra, then take that money and invest it. Add it to your IRA or get a money market account.  While it doesn’t sound like much, it adds up over time.

Post # 18
Member
7161 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would definitely go for it for all of the financial reasons that PPs have listed.

I’d also do it because getting out of the house and having things you need to take care of that are separate from mothering can be really beneficial, especially in dealing with PPA- seeing that your daughter is okay with other people and the reminder that you are an accomplished and capable woman- it can be so deeply healing. Working part time is the best of both worlds, to me.

I was a Stay-At-Home Mom for 2 years with my son and then transitioned back to work starting with working part time and it helped a lot of my mothering related anxieties.

If I were you I would say yes and start planning for it now- that way your daugher can learn to take naps on her own, you have time to find a great daycare (I’d even begin looking now and maybe start her with a couple mornings a week this summer if you can), you have time to ease yourselves into this new arrangement. Then give it a few months and if you’re finding that it’s really exacerbating your fears then revisit with your husband. But you can’t let your worries about the possible future make your decision for you right now because you can’t actually trust what your worries are telling you.

I was an anxious mother so I sympathize with you. But I will say that, for me, the very best thing was getting myself out of the house and handing the baby over to someone I trusted and then coming home and seeing he was well. Once that became our regular routine I was able to see how much my fears had been clouding my perspective.

Post # 19
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2177 posts
Buzzing bee

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MrsJet :  I would definitely try it. 15% is a decent oercentage of your family income and frees you to save up for all kinds of things, plus gives you an active resume when/if you’re ready to start looking for a different job.

One question: if it turns out to be as hard for you to go back as you’re anticipating, is there some freedom with the company to leave relatively shortly? As in, if you accept this job and in 6 months decide it’s not working for you, will you damage your references there? If I were in your shoes, knowing that I could try it without feeling commited long term would make it easier to go back to work.

Post # 20
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I agree with PP that it sounds like a great idea for you (adult interaction, prevents a lengthy break in your career timeline) and your baby (more socialization with someone other than you and your DH). There are so many areas that $500 would be useful to you – pad your savings account, save for a car that will eventually need to be replaced/repaired, save for health insurance deductibles or medical expenses, increase retirement contributions, or just allow your husband to have a couple of weeks where he doesn’t HAVE to work overtime, and your $500 can cover some of the bills. 

We are planning on TTC soon, and running the numbers of daycare, changing hours at work, increasing the health insurance to family plans etc makes my head want to spin, and I would love nothing more than to stay at home with our future kids but it isn’t feesible for our family at this time. Sometimes you have to make some sacrifices that make you a little uncomfortable that help you or your family out in the long run. I think this may be one of them for you, bee. Good luck!

Post # 21
Member
1977 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’ve been at Stay-At-Home Mom for the past 21 months. We are now thinking about putting my son in part time care as we feel like he needs more stimulation and socialization then I can provide. (I also need a break, toddlers are crazy little people!!!) He is SO attached to me, I know once we do it, it’s going to be pretty brutal. I so wish we would have done it earlier. So I vote yes. Take the job. If it’s not working out for you, you can quit. Having extra income is never a bad thing and your daughter will develop a little independence. Sure there will be an adjustment period but the longer you wait, the harder it will be (true with anything baby related!…and why my almost 2 year old still has a bottle 🙄)

Post # 22
Member
4251 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I think it comes down to priorities and what you want…  I did not want to work.  Me staying home was more important to us than certain other things, so we made changes that made me staynig home possible.  $500 extra a month is a fair amount of money, so it comes down to is that trade off of time with your baby important enough to you?  It is really personal.

Post # 23
Member
7623 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

In this situation, where you are saving nothing, I would absolutely take the job.

$10k is really not that much if you’re not able to add to it at all. Just think about if your heater went out and you needed a new car in the same year, savings would be depleted and you would have no way of building it back up again.

I also just realized that you break even with your DH working OT. I would never count OT as part of the budget because it isn’t always guaranteed. I would probably be asking to start earlier than August TBH.

Post # 24
Member
2121 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m not a mum yet but I think you should definitely go back to work. You said you’re doing fine financially but then said you’re breaking even with your H working overtime – that is not doing fine financially. 

I am also if the opinion that with your PPD/PPA the longer you stay out of work the harder it will be for you to get back – not just in terms of opportunities, but your mindset. That distance between you and normal adult interaction will keep increasing. 

Now, whether you take this job is an entirely different question. Do you want this job? Did you like your team? Or are you ready for change? If I have read this right you will be doing 16 hours a week at about $8.00 an hour. Is that good money for the job? Or can you get that elsewhere? The reason I ask is that you might feel more comfortable working say 4 mornings per week. Then you’re not away from your little girl for full days. Or doing 2 half days, and one full Saturday. That would give you Sunday as a family day, you would get some adult time at work on Saturday, and DH would get baby time. 

Just a few different angles to think about. 

Post # 25
Member
739 posts
Busy bee

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jcent :  “so it comes down to is that trade off of time with your baby important enough to you?”

 

That’s fine for you, however it’s not really fair for OP to prioritise her time with the baby over her husband. Currently he works full time and overtime just to scrape by with the bills, which would leave him with hardly any quality time with his child.  

If they could afford for her to stay home then sure it’s more of a question of what she wants to do, but she’s not the only one in the family.

Post # 27
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I would jump on that offer.  

  1. You know you like the company/people enough.
  2. You get flexibility of scheduling which two days a week.
  3. You’ll have $500 a month extra for savings, emergencies, fun outtings, god forbid your husband lose his job, etc.
  4. You’ll keep your foot in the door of the work force so if you ever have to go back to full time you won’t be lowballed.  
  5. You’ll get a break from the kid(s) and get adult interaction.  The time you are together with the kids/hubby will be better because you will have taken a break.
  6. Dropping the kid(s) off and pick up isn’t that bad if you don’t have the threat of working late (like I do).
  7. The things your kid will learn at school will amaze you.  They learn so much that you can’t even possibly think to teach them.  

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