- 7 years ago
This is my first time posting here. I have been lurking for a while and really enjoy reading everyones insite on things. I am just curious if someone else is or knows someone who is going a similar situation.
My boyfriend – N
His brother – J
I have been with my boyfriend for over three years. Two years ago we seriously talked about getting engaged. He said he had “a lead on the ring.” I was fine with that because it seemed like a proposal was on the way. WRONG. After a year -with a broken heart- I asked what was up. He did not want to get engaged yet because I didn’t know what I was doing school and career-wise. That hurt. I also felt like it was a lie. Then every holiday and anniversary I waited sure it was coming. NOPE. So pair these feelings with what comes next.
N’s brother decided he wanted to start dating around a year ago. He met one girl, but she just was not interested in something as serious as he is. OK I understand where they are both coming from. So he meets a girl with the same name as me -Jessica. This was a little weird but I was mostly ok with it. Last forth of July was when the whole family got to met her. I was ready to go; I may not be the only Jess anymore, but I was certainly going to be the best. She couldn’t cook, bake, and was not friendly or interested in talking with the parents at all. I found this to be a poor first impression. I figured she was not going to last long and I had nothing to worry about. She would tell J he couldn’t wear hats, his gamer tees, play video games. It was crazy. I was sure now that she was not going to stay. But soon enough N’s mom tells me they are engaged.
And there, in that moment, my dreams were shattered. The name promised to me two years ago, was never going to be mine. It was snatch away from my tiny little fingers, I couldn’t hold tight enough. But then again, who would have expected this. I would no longer be the only Jess in that family. I will forever be confused with a rude, snobby, less awesome Jessica.
I was finally becoming ok with my name. I have always hated the name Jessica. There were too many of us growing up, so I got used to going by my initials. I never introduced myself to N’s parents by JB because I was serious about their son, and felt my proper name was what should be used. Now they have known me for three years and been calling me Jess. I don’t know how or what I can ask them to call me so we do not get confused.
J is getting married next weekend. We are going to the wedding and I am less than excited. It feels like the universe is torturing me. Forcing me to watch someone I don’t like, getting the name that should –in my opinion, be mine.
I was never happy with my name as a child, and always wanted to change it. But I never did because that is what my parents named me and it seemed disrespectful. Now that I was mostly OK with my name, I feel like that feeling slipped away when she appeared in our lives.
What would you do in this situation?