(Closed) Same Name as Future SIL

posted 10 years ago in Names
Post # 3
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m sorry you’ll have teh same legal name as an inlaw, we all want to be unique.

Could you possibly go by a nickname for your first name instead?

Or use both your first and middle names? I new a girl Who went through all of school being refered to as Margeret Ann, and she didn’t have a hyphen.

Or you could hyphenate your last name if your not intent on changing to his name, that way you can be distinctive from her while still maintaining your own identity.


Here’s a chart I made of all the name options I could think of for a couple getting married, maybe it’ll help you make your choice:

Post # 4
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I know how you feel.  FI’s cousin (on his dad’s side) would have had the same name as me after we got married!  I love it, but it’s frustrating sometimes at family functions where we’re talking as a group.  We’re usually like Melissa2(“melissa squared”) in the house!! 

Fortunately she just got married so her name changed.  I’d say don’t worry about it.  She’ll probably get married at some point and assume a different name.

Post # 5
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@smileyd: LOVE the chart!

View original reply
@French horn: Honestly, do you know many people outside of your in-laws that know both you and your FSIL? I don’t think its going to be that big of a deal. You already have the same first name, which is what your FIL’s will call you in conversation anyways, so unless you change your first name, there will always be the name similarity thing between the two of you. I don’t think the last name will be a big issue either. Its not like your IL’s call you Jessica ______ now, so they won’t be calling you Jessica Smith after you get married. I would say go with what you always wanted- taking your husbands last name!

Post # 6
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I agree with missapis, the issue will be there regardless because you’re both still Jessica. I’d start going by a nickname with his family? or just suck it up and be jack’s jessica or whatever. 

Post # 7
5109 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Ok that sucks 🙁 im sorry!! But in the long run oh well if you have a common last name its bound to happen.. I will be a Robinson.. ya thats unique lol. Its a little different bc its not a random person, but someone in your family. But honestly it will be fine!!! And you dont have to be excited about your name change just be excited about marrying the person you love 🙂

Post # 8
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ugh- I’m in an even worse situation.  I share a name with my FI’s sister- except my name is spelled one less letter, so they have taken to calling me “No- (that letter).” I am trying to come up with ways to solve this problem, too. Maybe a nickname? My name doesn’t really lend itself to nicknames at all, though. Wish I had a solution!

Post # 9
1919 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t let that deter you from taking your husbands last name. As PP said your first name is still the same so you will always be dealing with that. And the family may make jokes but its all in good fun. And there are tons of people who share the same first and last name as other people. Just type your name into facebook and see how many. Doesn’t mean you’re not unique.

Post # 10
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Does she live close by, like in the same city? How often are you around her? If not a lot… then I would take his name. But that’s just my opinion 🙂

Post # 11
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I share the same name as my step-sister and although at first it was a little confusing at first I don’t think anyone even notices now.  We go by first name middle name.   So for example Amy Sue and Amy Anne and that works.   To make it more ridiculous, my other step-sister’s brother in law may be marrying another girl with the same name. 

Post # 12
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Huh-I kind of know how you feel.  My brother married a girl with MY FIRST name-and it is NOT a common name at all.  So now she has my original name-which wouldn’t be SO bad, but without going into a lot of crap-WE don’t like her-(or him for that matter either).  But we have different middle names, so when we were together with family we got called by our first and middle names.

Post # 13
2025 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My SIL just married last month and will be sharing her name with her husband’s brother’s wife. They even have the same maiden name inital, so that makes it even more complicated. I think they (the family) are just going with calling her first name maiden name, when they need to differentiate.  

Post # 14
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m in the exact same situation – my future SIL and I share a first name (spelling and all). I think she has more cause to feel weird about it, actually, since she’s been Firstname FI’sLastName all her life and there will suddenly be another one! I’ve decided to take FI’s last name regardless and I’m glad that I have a first name that sounds natural with his last name.

I’ll also use my middle name/initial more (especially in email addresses) and who knows – she may have a different last name herself in a few years!

It will work out! It’s still a new and special name to you.

Post # 15
36 posts
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m in a similar situation…. my FI’s cousin has the same first name as me, and it’s uniquely spelled which makes it even weirder (e.g., Jessyca instead of Jessica).  They also don’t have a common last name, so it’s unique first name plus uncommon last name.  I’m hyphenting my maiden name with my married name, I haven’t decided yet how I feel about it (I’m a little sad as I always figured I’d just take his last name).

Post # 16
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Aww! I understand why you’re upset!

If it helps, we have about 34928 Davids in our family.. And I almost had a sister and a sister-in-law by the same name. Talk about confusing.

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