(Closed) same old "no one wants to come to my wedding" post

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m so sorry you are feeling like this and going through this.  You are completely correct that StDs give time to plan and it makes total sense that you are feeling down right now.

But just remember:  There is one person you care a lot about who wants to be at your wedding – your FI!  Focus on the getting married to him part – that’s the most important anyway!

Post # 3
559 posts
Busy bee

awwww you poor thing !

I haven’t even started planning yet and I don’t plan to use it as an alternative work-out 😉

Do you know something, the wedding is about you. It’s about you and where you are at now (the realisations you have made to date, rightly or wrongly), your relship with your Fiance and your core family’s attendance. Flyby night friends won’t make your day.

I guarantee that even strangers watching (maybe you don’t know every one of your FI’s friends) will be happy for you and need to realise that everyone who DOES come -whether through your invitation or your FI’s are supporting both of you in your next chapter and the friends who wanted to come but couldn’t will be thinking about you. I guarantee it.

The wedding is about what you carry with you in your heart through your wedding and your future. Don’t let it be a burden you carry, don’t let it be the weight of people who have let you down, you have to move forward. You will find other, truer friends and remember that some of your friends will have genuinely not been able to come. Don’t group everyone in the same category, which is easy to do when you are down. Over time it will become evident who your friends are. Just remember the best way to have a friend is by being a friend yourself. If you are ever despairing about the world: never sink with it, instead always carry a flag of hope and positivity and do what you can to better yourself. Then you will find happiness within always and what the others do will have no bearing on how much you enjoy a day.

Best wishes to you

Post # 4
8483 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014


TrousseauHorse:  Ugh, yes! I definitely feel that way. At this point I’m convinced that maybe half of our already small guest list will show up.

My most recent upset was by a friend of 5 years. She never sent in her RSVP card, so I called her to ask about it, because I need to send my caterer a final list before the 26th. She immediately says that she’ll be working, but I know she’s on a set schedule of working 6-2 on Saturdays, so I said “oh you’re working nights on Saturday now?” And she sort of hesitated and then goes, “oh uh, what time was it again?” So I told her the ceremony starts at 5:30, and then she just kind of mumbled and said she’d see. Really? Ugh.

Post # 5
658 posts
Busy bee

Is your wedding a destination wedding? A low attendance rate is pretty much standard for those types of weddings compared to local weddings, so if that’s the case I wouldn’t take it personally.

Post # 7
559 posts
Busy bee

TrousseauHorse:  Maybe a bridezilla is just someone who knows what she wants and will go to any length to achieve perfection and won’t settle for less.

When you’ve tackled a wedding, you’re ready to be a Company Director 😀

Post # 8
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Did you just send out your invites? I think oftentimes the people that know for sure that they can’t come either send them back right away or wait til the very last minute (because they feel bad).  So this might just be a large majority of the no invites and you’ll get more yesses later.  It’s annoying how human psychology affects how fast/slow people RSVP, but it definitely has an impact!

Also your wedding planning should not be having a negative impact on your health.  Maybe give yourself a break for a few days and try not to do any planning so that you can get yourself to a better place psychologically. Best of luck with everything going forward.

Post # 9
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Sometimes we all need a little self-pity party to get through the hard stuff. Have a cookie or indulge in some Ben and Jerrys…do something for yourself for a day or two and try not to stress about the wedding. In the end, the only people who needs to be there are your Fiance and you.

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