(Closed) Same old thing!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It sounds like you love him but you aren’t in love with him. I didn’t read any other posts, so I could be wrong. Do you think it’s worth continuing over the summer? Would there be any chance it will improve? Would councilling help?

Post # 4
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I just went over some of your threads and I’m sorry you’re going through. 

Here’s my advice, from someone who was engaged (we ended our engagement April 1, 2012 and we were supposed to get married this September) I think that you guys should take this time apart. Take the summer, take a couple of months to just YOU. I can honestly say that ending our engagement was one of the best things for our relationship. It was messy and confusing and hurtful but now we know what we want and we’re aiming for it. We found that though we aren’t ready to get married now, we still want to be with one another. It’s been 2 months and in those 2 months we learned a lot of ourselves and each other.

I know it’s easier said than done but it has to be done. Take this time for you. hang out with friends and family. You’ll get through it. Don’t settle. You are extraordinary and you’ll figure it out. 

Post # 5
Member
1575 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It doesn’t sound like you want to marry this guy at all. Trust your instinct. Sometimes it is scarey to change because we are used to the situation and the unknown can be scarey. I agree with PP that a separation might clarify matters.

Post # 6
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012
Post # 7
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree but you need to know that if you decide to get back together you run the risk that he might not want to get back together. It’s the risk you take. It sounds a little like you both feel a little eehh about your relationship. Sometimes the time apart helps to clarify how you feel about each other. If things are already back to the way it was then it sounds like no one is working on things and that’s part of maintaining a marriage. It takes two people actively working together to make things work. I hope things work out for you both.

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