(Closed) Same week! Two weddings! Same church!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Rude or Not?
    I think it is fine : (29 votes)
    27 %
    She is being rude : (29 votes)
    27 %
    She should move her date : (17 votes)
    16 %
    Im just being incredibly oversensitive : (33 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    281 posts
    Helper bee

    That is VERY rude. See if you can move the date up. If a friend or relative got engaged after me and did it at the same venue as mine, I would not attend her wedding. That’s just very disrespectful because you booked the place first. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    764 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @MissYoungBee:  I mean did she know your plans? I am guessing she did. Is she good friends with you? If not then I do not think it is rude of her, cause she may have her obvious reasons of picking that date (there may not be another time that she could). I understand your frustration, especially for decorating purposes. But almost every venue you go to there will be another girl getting married the day before. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    6215 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    Honestly, if it was a sibling it might be different, but since she is a church friend, I say you are overreacting.  Surely she didn’t do it just to make you mad.  How many guests will you have in common? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Personally, I would find it rude assuming she already knew your plans, and was close enough to you that she wasn’t likely to forget. I’ve got friends who keep forgetting when/where my wedding will be, simply because it’s not the kind of thing that people remember – no one is as excited about your wedding as you are!

    If she knew your wedding date and location and still picked that date regardless, I think it’s rude. Perhaps try talking with her and see whether she’s likely to change it or what else can be arranged. There’s a good chance it’s just a mistake on her part.

    ETA: I just noticed that she’s a church friend that has only been going to this church for a few months – how long have you known her/how close are you? Are you guys close enough to invite each other to your weddings? If you’re not that close, then this most likely isn’t even an issue.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8438 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @MissYoungBee:  Her wedding her date, your wedding your date. Sorry it is as simple as that.

    If it is going to cause issues for you then you have two choices: change your date or accept that she doing it on the same weekend and try to not let it spoil your day. At the end of the day there is nothing you can do about it besides move your date.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7736 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    This is totally fine. While I understand a spacing between relatives, friends a day apart is no problem, because the overlap of guests won’t be large. We often have weddings close together at my church. Not on 2 days in a row I admit, but I still don’t see a problem.

    I’m sure she chose a date that worked for her, and it has nothing to do with you.

    Post # 11
    Hostess
    7561 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    You said it yourself that there were no other October dates available – what was she supposed to do? Does her not going to the church as long make her less of a member? I think you’ve got a serious case of bridal brain and are not seeing the big picture here. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    1578 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

    While the situation stinks (you can’t decorate the day before), you get ONE day to be a bride. You can’t dictate when other people have their weddings. :/ 

    Post # 13
    Member
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MissYoungBee:  I don’t understand why how long she has been attending the church matters.  You don’t own the church, or get special dibs because you went there first.

    It is NOT rude for a couple to select a date that works for them.  They can choose any date they like. 

    There seems to be a HUGE misunderstanding of rudeness is.  Just because something upsets you, doesn’t make it rude.  You can not like it, but this other bride is being perfectly polite.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I know it’s upsetting.  But really it’s just one date.  It shouldn’t matter how long she’s attended the church.  She’s your friend see what you can do to help her out, which i would imagine won’t be much with your own ceremony going on, and your rehersal dinner the day of her wedding.  But I would try to be the bigger person, she is a friend from church so maybe you could talk to your officiant about your  feelings and get some counseling.   It’s a happy time for BOTH of you stop sucking the joy out of it all.

    Post # 16
    Member
    814 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Honestly, who cares? She’s not your close friend or sister, just some random person at church. I really don’t see why this could possibly be an issue.

    The topic ‘Same week! Two weddings! Same church!’ is closed to new replies.

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