(Closed) Sans Mother of the Bride/groom

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow… *hugs*  I’d be mad about her getting to wear “your” dress.  Is there anyway that you can salvage what remains and have it sewn into a new dress, or at least have some of the lace sewn into the underdress. Can you find your mother’s veil and wear that?  What if you carried a framed picture of both moms down the aisle instead of flowers.  Good luck and I hope you find other brides that have similar stories to be your sounding board:)

Post # 4
581 posts
Busy bee

When your mother dies, and it doesn’t matter what age you are, a void is left that can never be filled. It is only natural that you feel melancholy as you prepare for a special day in your life.

You mother would be so proud of you!  You have acquired an education, commited to a fine man, created a family and are soon to complete the construction of your home. You and your family deserve happiness, and I know your mom wants that for you.

I hope you find something else of your mothers that you can carry on your wedding day.  The love you are able to give your fiance and children comes from your mother.  You carry that with you every day.

Best wishes as you prepare for your wedding, and congratulations on your new family home.  (((HUGS)))

Post # 5
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m so sorry for your loss.  I lost my mother before my senior year in high school so the entire wedding process was filled with me missing her and wanting her to be there to share her experiences with me.  My dad wasn’t able to find my mother’s dress (I wasn’t going to wear it but maybe use it for a project or something).  If I have children later, I know I will be wondering about what her pregnancy was like.

Post # 6
2641 posts
Sugar bee

First, I’m so sorry you lost your mom.  I admit I don’t know what that feels like. 

Second, I think I need to vent about the whole situation with your dad.   He married three months after your mom died??  Did he even ask to let his wife use the dress.  If not, that’s even worse.  It belonged to you.  Also, she cut it up!!!!  Let’s get this straight, she is wearing the wedding dress, of her husband’s late wife’s mother (how creepy) and has the nerve to cut it up????  That’s beyond ridiculous to me.  Did you at least claim it back?

What I would do at this point, if you are looking for some closeness: 1) take what you have left of your grandmother’s dress and either make  handkerchief, pursse, garter or something for you to carry on your wedding day.  (Or you can have it made into some kind of Christening or Communion gown if you have anymore kids).  2)  Maybe you could borrow your SIL’s dress, if it’s meaningful for you to wear a dress your mom had seen.  I would think your SIL would be understanding, and maybe feel honored??? 3.) Does Fi’s family have his mother’s gown?  Maybe you could look into wearing that?  

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