(Closed) SANTA…is it a bad lie??

posted 4 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
341 posts
Helper bee

jily:  My parents “lied” to me about Santa and even did some things to trick us into thinking that Santa had just been there on Christmas Eve. I don’t remember how I found out the truth, but I think it was around age 7 or 8 and I never felt lied to or disappointed. 

I’d feel bad keeping up the ruse for too long, but I think it’s fun to do it when kids are little. At one point one of my uncles convinced me that I could boil water if I held it under a light fixture for long enough. And that people could come out of the TV screen. I feel like that’s all in good fun.

Post # 17
2122 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m genuinely still upset that santa isn’t real. I found out 20 years ago. Before that were the best years of my life. Santa is magical.

Children should have that. My kids will leave out cookies and brandy and carrots for his reindeer.

Post # 18
4096 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

When I was old enough to realise there was no Santa and told my mom, she said to me “Santa might not be a real person, but the spirit of Santa is real”. That is what I will tell my kids.

The one thing that makes me hesitant about Santa is when I think of kids whose parents can’t afford to get everything they want for Christmas (or even anything at all). I know my Darling Husband was one of those kids, and it’s shitty to feel like you were good all year but Santa still didn’t come, but came to the houses of your friends….

Post # 19
11519 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think it’s a good lie.  Children deserve to have some magic in their lives.

I also don’t think it’s a total lie.  Sure, there’s no guy who flies around the world delivering presents, but Santa is the spirit of giving and joy at Christmas and many people give in the spirit of Santa every year. 

I found out when I was really little.  I caught my parents wrapping a present that ended up under the tree from Santa when i was 5.  I didn’t buy their coverup story but it never ruined Christmas for me.

We always got presents from Santa and presents from mom & dad.  Santa usually brought us things that mom and dad didn’t ‘approve of’ which made it more fun.

Post # 20
1497 posts
Bumble bee

I agree with PP! I was “lied” to as a kid and I don’t regret it at all. Without the magic of Santa, Christmas just isn’t the same. I most definitely want to give that to my kids.

If my parents hadn’t done the Santa tradition, I think I would have resented them for that!

Post # 21
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Oh please I am 42 and still believe in Santa.  Santa is about the magic.  Seeing the wonderment in a child’s eyes. The magic of the season.  Santa is not just about the man but the spirit of the season.  My child is 4 and he is SOOOOO excited to go visit Santa.  I wouldn’t miss that excitment for the world.   

Post # 22
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

jily:  We don’t/won’t have children, but you can bet I’ll be playing along with Santa for all my neices and nephews! I loved it as a child, and loved it even more watchign my sisters and cousins love Santa even after I knew the truth.

Post # 23
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

+1 for LOVING the magic of Santa growing up! Some of my best memories, couldn’t imagine my childhood without these lies, lol

Post # 24
6890 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

princessinwaiting:  That is what we do. And what my parents did.  There were presents from Santa and then from mom and dad. That is what we do for our son also.  

Post # 25
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’d like for my future children to believe in Santa. I have so many memories/traditions I had with my parents setting out cookies for Santa, and spreading food for the reindeer in our front yard.  Kids are only kids once.

That being said, I don’t plan to go crazy extravagant on presents for Santa.  I’d save the expensive presents to be from Mom and Dad.  I don’t think it’s fair for kids to go back to school with a crazy long list of extravagant presents from Santa, while other kids didn’t get as much.  I don’t want my kid to be the reason another child thinks that Santa must not like them as much. 

Funny story, when I found out Santa wasn’t real, I cried and yelled at my mom “HOW CAN YOU ALL JUST LIE TO YOUR KIDS!!! THAT’S SO WRONG!!” Granted, I was more upset over the embarassment that I found out at school after showing off my “letter from Santa” and realizing that I was basically the only kid in my grade who still believed.  Mom was good at doing little things that made me believe in all those things.  I even swore I had seen Santa in my house when I tried to sneak a peek once…it was really my dad in his red sweatpants and sweatshirt bent over putting things under the tree.   

Post # 26
49 posts

I agree with a previous poster who said the spirit of Santa is real. He teaches children about giving. I’m 31 and my mom still gives me gifts from Santa. I don’t really see it as a lie although I guess that’s what it is. My Christmases were magical because I believed in Santa. 

Post # 27
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Outdoor

My kids will absolutely get presents and stockings from Santa. I hope they will have a similiar childhood to me- I exisited in a state of simultaneously believing in Santa and also knowing that Santa was made up, for several years. The magic of the idea of Santa is what’s important.

Post # 28
7873 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

We do the whole Santa thing in our house, although my 12 year old now knows the truth but she totally plays along for our 4 year old. One thing I did always do though was tell them that the only real santa is at the North Pole and only comes on Christmas, while the ones in the mall are just his helpers. Because seeing different Santas all over town would confuse them and lead to the truth sooner. So now my 4 year old just knows that the mall Santa is really Santa’s assistant who basically just takes requests!

Post # 29
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

jily:  My parents never did the santa thing- they said they weren’t ok with lying to us and pretending something was real when the real meaning behind the holiday is so often lost or overlooked (no easter bunny, no tooth fairy, etc). We did do santa stuff, but most of it was dressing up for kids at the hospital over the holidays or playing along with the stories other kids in the extended family were told about santa. Honestly, I don’t feel like I missed out on anything magical or amazing about christmas. I think their focus on the real meaning is what sticks with me- helping out others, not taking things for granted, finging more joy in giving than receiving…

If it’s not obvious I grew up pentecostal so that had alot to do with it, I’m not pentecostal or religious anymore but I don’t think I will be doing santa/easter bunny with my kids either…

I will say that they lied about plenty other more important issues that in my mind negates the whole “we didn’t wanna lie to you about it” argument but whatevs, no parent makes perfect decisions 24/7. 

Post # 30
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My mom was never into Santa or the Tooth Fairy but my dad was. They never straight out told me they were real or said anything like “you have to be good for Santa”, but they never denied it, either. They would label one present as from Santa, but the rest were from them. We did Easter baskets and I got money for my teeth, but I I think I realized they weren’t real at a younger age than most kids, I was always pretty skeptical haha I think my dad was sad about it because he thought it was fun, but my mom always hated the idea of Santa.

I remember one of my friends has a lot of younger siblings and so her parents never told her they didn’t exist so she wouldn’t ruin it for her siblings, so she kept thinking Santa was real until like 5th grade which is pretty late… and I always felt a little embarassed for her!

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