(Closed) SANTA…is it a bad lie??

posted 4 years ago in Parenting
Post # 121
Member
276 posts
Helper bee

gbee:  soooo it’s cruel and isolating to be Jewish? Or any other religion that doesn’t celebrate Christmas? Okayyyyy. 

Post # 122
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Next christmas I will have a 7 month old and I absolutely cannot wait to take him/her to see Santa. We will absolutely be doing the Santa thing. I agree that Santa should only being one gift, nothing too extravagant. 

I do have to say I’m glad I’m not the only kid that believed until I was 12. My mom still makes fun of me, so thanks ladies for not making me feel like such an odd ball. 

Post # 123
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

itsssmeee83:  I don’t think your sarcastic response is really necessary.  OP clearly celebrates Christmas since she and her Darling Husband were saying the other option would be that presents would come from mom and dad, and I wrote my response with her in mind.  I’m really not sure how non-Christian families handle explaining Christmas and Santa to their children.  To be honest, I do imagine it would be kind of isolating as a child to not celebrate Christmas if everyone around you did.  Anything that marks you as “different” can be difficult growing up.  Luckily, we live in a time where things are becoming more inclusive, so “Christmas pageants” at school are more likely to be “holiday pageants,” etc.  With that in mind, I would hope that non-Christian families would use the opportunity to emphasize the importance of their own traditions rather than delegitimizing the traditions of others.

Post # 124
Member
3474 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Serious question: are there any bees who plan to teach their kids that Santa exists, but simultaneously plan to raise them atheist? If so, I have a followup question for you.

Post # 125
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 1997

Please, please lie to your child about Santa.  I’m a first grade teacher and it makes me so angry when parents tell their child the truth about Santa. Then, I’ve get to listen to that kid proudly announce his new found knowledge and ruin Santa for everyone else! I honestly don’t know why parents would not want their kids to have something wonderful and magical to believe in.  Kids grow up way too fast as it is.

 

Post # 126
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Overjoyed:  what’s your followup question?

Post # 127
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

i’ll tell my kids about santa as a myth and story bc my kids will learn all the myths, greek myths, religious myths, story myths. they’ll know its for fun and its just pretend and they’ll enjoy it all . I wont lie and have my kids believe in fictatious crap then tell them its not true and crush their spirit.. they’ll know its myth and participate and have fun taking pics with santa and writing letters to santa but they wont have a fit because they’ll know its just a game/for fun the whole time.

Post # 128
Member
836 posts
Busy bee

chloees_mom:  thats how religious people happen. its not my problem that parents want their kids to be ignorant and believe in shit that doesnt exist… i wont lie to my kids about shit that doesnt exist to please stupid people…

Post # 129
Member
585 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Overjoyed:  Also curious about your follow-up question. I won’t have kids for a while, but I was raised non-religiously while believing in Santa. I wasn’t raised atheist, but Jesus wasn’t really involved in our holidays or anything. 

Post # 130
Member
3474 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

flip_flop:  babeba:  My follow up question is based on the premise I usually hear from atheists that they don’t believe in God because there’s no proof He exists and that the religious beliefs that people hold are essentially myths, made up in order to inject a measure of “mystique” into otherwise mundane life occurrences. Most atheists I know have also said something along the lines of “I don’t need to believe in God to be a good person/be a good parent/have a meaningful life, etc.” So my follow-up question has to do with how atheist parents reconcile decrying religion as the opiate of the masses and simultaneously teach their children about Santa Claus, who is literally a fictional character which exists for no other reason than to–as some PPs have put it–create some fleeting magical-ness in a child’s life. Does a child need to believe in Santa to have an enjoyable childhood or maintain their innocence anymore than he or she needs to believe in God for infinitely more life-changing reasons?

ETA: now that I think about it, I can’t see why an atheist would celebrate Christmas at all, so there’s a chance my questions has just answered itself.

 

Post # 131
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - City Hall!

We don’t do Santa.  I didn’t have Santa growing up.  I cannot stand when people say there’s no magic in in Christmas anymore with no Santa.  My kids LOVE Christmas. Kids love Christmas.  Santa or none. Christmas = magic regardless.  The lights.  The tree.  Presents.  Know why most don’t remember when they stopped believing in Santa?  Because it isn’t a big deal.  

Post # 132
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - City Hall!

chloees_mom:  elephantear:  I’m religious and it’s not the reason we don’t do Santa.  Also I refuse to lie to my children for the sake of other chikdren.  

Post # 133
Member
276 posts
Helper bee

elephantear:  right?! It’s not my (or my kid’s) responsibility to uphold the lies people tell their children. I’ll definitely teach my kids that we all have different beliefs and should respect them, but if a kid is allowed to share their belief in Santa (or God or anything else), others should be able to share their beleif that there is no Santa or God. Free speech, it’s only fair! 

gbee:  whether you celebrate Christmas or not or are Christian or not isn’t really relevant to your comment that it’s cruel and isolating for your child to keep the secret from others. But anyways, as the token Jewish kid in Catholic school I can assure you I never felt isolated or different. Maybe I just didn’t go to school with assholes, though idk. I highly doubt any non-christians are sitting around telling their kids their traditions are better than others. It’s really not that hard to teach kids about different beliefs and respecting others. 

Post # 134
Member
276 posts
Helper bee

HoorayLouLou:  totally agree there can be magic in the holidays without santa! From everyone who had Santa growing up, most seem to say it all changed and wasn’t as fun after they found out Santa wasn’t real. Wouldn’t it be better to have traditions that make the holidays magical and fun that will last even as you grow up?!

Post # 135
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Overjoyed:  because there is nothing wrong with a sense of magical-ness, so long as the message accompanying said feelings and mythology are not specifically designed to blind people to their own oppression. 

I think the thing you have to remember about atheism and its counterparts like agnosticism and religious apathy are that it comes in as many flavours as there are people. So while I reject those tenets of religion that are irrelevant to today’s modern world and I abhor the attempt to use religion as a reason to prop up flawed systems of structure or unequal human rights for, say, women/minorities/LGBTQQIA people – I acknowledge the search for answers we don’t yet have is powerful. There are militant atheists and brilliant minds like the late Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins who don’t have that same tolerance for what they see as spiritual poison. 

the other thing to remember is that many atheists in the English speaking world are culturally Christian.  And as such, we take the meaning we wish out of cultural practice and let it adapt/evolve to fit our needs. No one religious or cultural group is in a vacuum, like where I grew up (mainly Jewish neighbourhoo) Christmas day had meaning to my friends who went to synagogue: you could go out to the movies and pretty much everyone there was someone you knew, and then everyone had Chinese takeout for dinner. 

So the flip side of “why do atheists celebrate Christmas” is actually “why do Christians celebrate Mithras? And why do they claim Jesus died over Passover? And what the hell does any of that have to do with the Germanic/Teutonic/anglo saxon goddess Eostre, and her bunny that laid colourful eggs?”

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