(Closed) SASE – Etiquette with Online RSVP Option

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I need to Include a SASE?
    YES - No matter what : (16 votes)
    59 %
    NO - Online option makes this optional : (9 votes)
    33 %
    Other - Please Comment : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @Elky:  yep, we put our contact information on there too (phone number), so if they really had to they could call us.  Nobody called, but I think you have to know your guestlist.  All except one invite recepient (elderly aunt and uncle on FI’s side) had internet access/email that they use on a regular basis.  Plus the online rsvp made it super easy to do escort cards (the guests have to spell the name of who is attending) and count up my numbers.

    Post # 19
    Member
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    To save money, we didn’t print RSVP cards at all.  People have to RSVP online on our wedding website.  If they really can’t do that for some reason, they can call us.  But everyone we know can use a computer, even our grandparents.  I tested it out and it’s super easy.  I can’t imagine anyone will have trouble.

    If you’re including an RSVP card, you must include a stamped return envelope as well (which I assume refers to the SASE acronym everyone’s using??).

    Post # 20
    Member
    1692 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am sure that your mother has all the best motives, but I am afraid she needs to broaden her horizons. Making your guests fill out commercially-prepared paperwork to register for your wedding — sorry, I mean to “R.s.v.p.” for your wedding — is NOT “the traditional way.” Yes, by the end of the twentieth century etiquette was tolerating the idea of these nasty little pre-printed cards, but “the traditional way” is to trust your guests to be socially sophisticated (or at least competent) adults who a) own stationery, b) know how to write legibly that “Miss Aspasia Phipps / accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of / Mrs Elky’s Mum”, and c) can buy a stamp at Safeway if they don’t already own a roll that they use for Christmas Cards and other social correspondence and the occasional bill payment.

    It is kind of your mum to make allowances for us decrepid old folks who are all too behind-the-times to know how to use email and the internet. I’m not seventy yet, so I can be considered an exception to that universal geriatric computer-illiteracy; but the fact is I have friends in their eighties who use email (because it’s just too hard to find that roll of stamps in the desk clutter) and my brother who is in his late seventies runs a retirement business cleaning viruses off his neighbours’ PCs. Most of us can figure it out, and those of us who cannot, can use the telephone — or do what is proper, and actually write you a note on our own elegant stationery that we have so few modern opportunities to use.

    By the way, since “less is more” in formal correspondence, the most elegant invitations are not an “invitation suite” (however much the printer$ love to $ell $uch $uite$ to young bride$) but a single heavy folded page, engraved in black ink, with “R.s.v.p.” (or the more formal and proper “the favour of a reply is requested”) in the bottom left corner of the invitation, optionally followed by your email, website, phone number, and/or I suppose, QR code.

    Post # 21
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @Elky:  Since you have a good idea of who will not be using their computer, can you just give those folks a stamp (i’m assuming that’s what a SASE is?) and then don’t worry about the rest of them? I wish your RSVP didn’t say either or, that way you could have RSVPs for the computer/internet saavy peeps that just direct them the website, and then the other folks will have a standard RSVP.

    Post # 22
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @housebee:  So did you put your wedding website on the invitation? How did you work that out? I hadn’t thought about this seriously until now…I’m thinking of considering this myself….

    Post # 23
    Member
    322 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Anyone who really wants to RSVP through snail mail will get their stationary out and send you an RSVP. In fact, some find it rude that you assume they cannot be bothered to RSVP without you providing them the means to do so. Mailing RVSP cards to guests is a very new thing. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    8439 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @JoolyBee:  We put “Please let us know if you’ll be attending by visiting <the wedding website>.  Respond by clicking the RSVP tab on the left”  and our phone number underneath that on the RSVP insert (we had pocketfolds), in a clear easy to read font (calibri I think, the rest of the invites were in blackadder).  Then we listed the events on our website (ceremony, reception, etc) under the RSVP tab.  I used mywedding.com, but I think most wedding websites have this.  Then I checked my email neurotically for a few weeks and the RSVPs were back.

    Post # 25
    Member
    553 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @housebee:  Thanks, that sounds fabulous. I’m going to seriously consider this option.

    Post # 26
    Member
    13861 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If there’s a response card, there should be a SASE. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @Elky:  fold it?  

    I’d only include it for the elderly guests though. 

    The topic ‘SASE – Etiquette with Online RSVP Option’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors