(Closed) Save the Date addressing etiquette

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
1112 posts
Bumble bee

klc4417:  For married couples, both ways are correct. It’s personal preference. I prefer to identify the woman in the relationship rather than lumping her in under her husband, so my invitations were Mr. Anthony & Mrs. Ashley Smith.

For couples who aren’t married, the man come first. UNLESS the female has a special title (like Doctor). Her title would then outrank the man’s social title and she would come first.

However, when it came to my girlfriends and their dates, I always put my girlfriend first. Not proper etiquette, I know, but it seemed wrong to put their boyfriend, many of whom I haven’t met yet, first. 

Post # 3
241 posts
Helper bee


Married: Mr. & Mrs. [husbands name] [last name]

Couples: Mr. [man] & Ms. [lady] 

**Change out Mr/Ms for Doctor, Reverand, Judge, etc… and agree with PP – put ‘fancier’ title ahead if it’s the woman.  And if you are inviting a girl friend of yours who has a Boyfriend or Best Friend, I also put her name first, followed by the man. 

One other thing to keep in mind, to avoid stress later: make it clear who is invited.  For example, if your guests have kids and they aren’t invited, only address the parents.  If They are, you can say the XXX Family.  For single friends, if they are invited with a date, definitely let them know (Mr. John Smith and Guest, Ms. Jane Smith and Guest). It sounds minor, but most people on this site will admit to having at least one invitation confusion woe for their wedding.  Better to be clear up front 🙂

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