Post # 1
Happy Monday 😛 I hope it’s warmer where you are than here!
So, Fiance and I went back and forth deciding whether STD were necessary however, because our wedding is on a long weekend, we’ve decided to send them. We would have liked to have sent them by September but due to school and, well, life we’re super behind so I want to get these out this month.
Here’s my issue that I know many of you are also dealing with or have already dealt with:
Everyone who is invited to the ceremony is invited to the reception BUT not everyone who is invited to the recpetion is invited to the ceremony due to seating restrictions. Would you send STD to people who are only invited to the reception? If so, would you change the wording or add an insert that clarifies it’s the reception only?
Also, we’re having zero children under 12 at the wedding. This is partially due to lack of seating and also due to me witnessing so many weddings where children and screaming during the vows causing guests to miss the best part! Should I adress this in the STD?
Should I add that:
“due to in intimate nature of the event and lack of seating the ceremony is an adult only event?”
Blah! I’m so confused. I want to give people enough heads up but I’m worried it’s going to cause more problems.
**RECAP for anyone who doesn’t want to read my long winded question:
-How do I send STD to people ONLY invited to the reception? should i make that clear on the STD that the invitation coming to them later on is only for the reception?
-I want to let people know that children are not invited to the ceremony but they are welcome at the reception…Do I address that in the STD?
Post # 3
Hi @Tallulah_: Lol, I am a bit of an Etiquette Snob here on WBee… in so much as I know too much about all the Rules of Etiquette (and how to break them gingerly)
Before I help you thru this…
You’ll want to start the process first by considering if Save-The-Date Cards are even necessary… I just did a post for another Bee that can be found here = http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/are-stds-necessary#axzz2l1RVUzYF
Read that, determine YES or NO… and have you covered the 4 MUST KNOWS BEFORE SENDING STDS and then I’ll reply to the Questions you have above.
Post # 4
@This Time Round: haha well i definitely need som etiquette help here!
Yes, I do have those 4 items completely decided on with 100% certainty.
However, my biggest reason for sending them was to give people a heads up that my wedding is on the long weekend and I’d love for them to be available. I’m worried people will make other plans before.
Do you think this is a plausible worry?… Or should i try word of mouth? haha
Post # 5
Well you are about 7 months out now…
So you can go either way… altho if it is a Long Weekend (now going to assume you are Canadian) then you’ll want to YES get the word out, be it via an STD or some other way (word of mouth – Wedding Website – Christmas Cards etc)
Lets go over some of the Wedding Basics…
The general rule of thumb is people in North America are invited to all the events… and if the Wedding is “tiered” then the rule is once you are there, you are there for the duration…
So Ceremony – Cocktail Hour & Reception Dinner – Dancing
OR Cocktail Hour & Reception – Dancing
Generally speaking, you only exclude someone from the Ceremony IF you are planning to have a very small intimate Wedding Ceremony (ie a handfull of people) or the Ceremony is at another time (ie Day Before)
In so much as IF you are having a Church Wedding, you cannot really turn anyone away if they show up, as a Church is a Public Venue open to ANYONE who wishes to enter it (even other parishoners or people off the street… however that is rare)
Your Save-The-Date Cards should only convey Date =OR= Date & Location
The Wedding Invite takes care of the rest… and a Wedding Website can cover the details
It is considered RUDE to write NO CHILDREN anywhere… the best you can do is put “Adult Reception to follow” on the bottom of your Invites… and then drive that point home by utilizing Inner Envelopes (only names of those invited appear on them)… and by creating an RSVP Card that uses the line ” X Seats have been Reserved in your Honour”
Hope this helps,
Have more Questions… ask away
Post # 6
@This Time Round: That helps me so much. Thank you! 🙂