(Closed) Save the date but no invite?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Invitation didn't come after the save the date. What to do?
    Assume uninvited : (15 votes)
    28 %
    Ask step-dad of bride : (39 votes)
    72 %
  • Post # 3
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    In this case, i would ask.

    A Save the Date is an informal invitation.  They would be MAJORILY in the wrong sending one and not intending to send a proper invitation.  It sounds as though the invitation may have actually been lost in the mail.

    Post # 4
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @RedWine13:  Is the mother-of-the-bride NEWLY terminally ill?  Maybe they’ve changed their plans.  

    Post # 7
    12247 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would call and ask, because that is really bizarre!

    Post # 9
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @miller_party_of_2:  Don’t do this! It’s not very nice to ask someone to “hold” a date for you when they are only being deemed important enough to attend the ceremony portion or your day.  In general, you can do a private ceremony and then invite more people to your reception, but not the other way around. 

    Post # 10
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    I think a call to the step-dad is fine.  A save the date gives a heads up for preparation for wedding guests, so they have every reason to think they are still invited.

    Post # 11
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

    @MmeVT:  Agree

    Post # 13
    2715 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would call and ask.  The invite may have gotten lost in the mail – we definitely had a handful of invites that never made it to their correct destination.

    Post # 15
    2553 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @KateByDesign:  I would say as long as their plans havent completely changed, then yes they are in the wrong and it probably got lost in the mail. My biggest etiquette mistake was sending save the dates and then we had to cut the wedding down to only 25 extremely close family members and 2 friends for reasons too long to explain. We are still going to throw a reception bbq in both of our home towns and send invites (for that) to everybody who got a STD. …but everybody has known that we changed plans for a few months.

    Post # 16
    7673 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @RedWine13:  I would call and ask the step-father, because it sounds most likely to me that there was a mixup and they forgot to send the invite. (And then they would be wondering why you haven’t RSVP’d). But I would ask in a way that I am understanding if their plans have changed.

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