(Closed) Save the Date – Can you put Regrets Only?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

No because you don’t RSVP to a save the date. It’s just so your guests will hold the date open for your wedding.

Post # 4
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

never seen a STD with an RSVP to it. 

Post # 5
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You don’t put anything on a Save the Date. It’s too early to ask people to RSVP in any way.

I did put “Regrets Only” on our rehearsal dinner invitations though, as a totally unrelated note. Since most of the people invited are in the wedding party, I’m assuming they’re all coming unless they tell me otherwise.

Post # 6
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Save-The-Date Cards don’t have an RSVP. 

Post # 7
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m not sure what that even means?

Post # 8
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t understand why you would put “Invitation to follow. Regrets only.” What are you trying to accomplish? Do you mean that when they receive the invitation, they only need to tell you that they’re not attending?

Post # 10
Member
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Alexa586:  People will mention when they see you, but you can’t formally request that someone RSVP to a save the date, because technically, it’s not an invitation.  It’s just an announcement that their invitation will be forthcoming

Post # 11
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d be really confused seeing “invitation to follow. Regrets only.”  That makes it an invitation, not a STD.

ETA: A pre-head count is useless, really.  I’m 2 weeks away from my wedding and I have people who’ve had family emergencies come up and others who had schedules change, so the guest list numbers still aren’t completely final.  I can only imagine how much your numbers would change from now until May!  And trust me, the ones you think will definitely attend the wedding and the ones you think definitely won’t attend the wedding… yeah, they’ll all prove you wrong.

Post # 12
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No, I have not seen this.  You don’t RSVP to a STD.  I understand why you’d want to get a preliminary head count, but honestly, it’d be worthless anyway.  Save-The-Date Cards typically go out 6-9 months in advance and that is way to early for someone to know their plans.  And even if they currently did have a conflict, a lot can happen in 6-9 months and their plans might change and they could find out they can attend your wedding (this is why you always send out invites even to those who say they can’t come).

Post # 13
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@Alexa586:  A STD is not an invitation, and no response is required.  It is a heads up, an FYI.

You cannot expect people to know one way or the other if they can attend your event months ahead of time.

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