Save the Date "drama"

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
571 posts
Busy bee

honeybee16 :  Be annoyed. roll your eyes. you didn’t do anything wrong. don’t say anything. send them their god damn STD. And if they happen to decline the actual invite later, feel free to have a WTF?!! moment, because that would just be perfect! LOL

Post # 17
1479 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Ugh I feel you. I had unanticipated save the date drama too. As previous posters have mentioned, they aren’t a requirement at all, and also not a requirement for every guest. I talked to my fiancé about sending Save-The-Date Cards to our family members and OUR friends (i.e. Not all of our parents’ friends). I bought the Save-The-Date Cards, I collected addresses, I bought postage, I addressed the 70 Save-The-Date Cards, and I mailed them, all by myself. Next thing I know I’m being pestered by my fiancé’s parents about not sending Save-The-Date Cards to their friends and the children of their friends and the children of their second cousins, who I didn’t even know existed. I was so frustrated that I was getting criticism about the Save-The-Date Cards, when no one had ever offered to help with it. Furthermore, I had gone over the invite list with them, and most of those people weren’t even on the invite list, let alone the STD list. 

All you can do, is just shrug it off. Don’t make apologies, just say you weren’t done mailing them yet and they will receive it in a few days.

Post # 18
745 posts
Busy bee

annabananabee :  I was thinking a lot of what you said. A std is not a invite, so not getting one does not automatically mean you won’t be invited. The whole thing sounds like such a silly thing to get so upset over. Wonder what their reaction will be when they actually get their STD and invites? I’d feel pretty silly over my behavior if I was them.

Post # 19
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Canvas Event Space

Um, even if they did go out at the same time, mail doesn’t all arrive at the same time so they need to chill.

We had people living in the same house who got their invites within a couple days of sending them and others took two weeks to arrive and some are still waiting 3 months after the wedding for theirs to arrive lol

I wouldn’t deal with it at all tbh. Let it arrive when it arrives and it’s their problem to feel some type of way between now and then.

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