(Closed) Save the Date etiquette

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

The great thing about Save-The-Date Cards is that you address them to just one person and then add more on the actual invites later.  Of course, the reverse isn’t true, you can’t disinvite from STD to invite.  Other brides have posted on this, too.  They have send a STD to a couple, couple has bad break up and both assume they are still invited, but because of conflict, the two can’t both come to the wedding.  I would send it to the person you are closest to and then add the second person on the official invite.

Post # 4
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

If you don’t really know the significant other, address the card to your friend only. It leaves the situation ambiguous about whether they are invited. Most people will assume a +1 anyway…and when you send the actual invitations it will be clear who is invited, and if anyone asks in the meantime you can address their situations individually.

Post # 5
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Save the Dates, Just like Engagement Notices are not an invitation, they are a notice.  So you need not write more than one name, Niki (previous poster) is absolutely correct.  

Arguably it would be odd to write 2 names unless you were equally acquainted with both.  As a good example, In sending one to my very own sister, I did not write her name and that of her Children–simply Mr and Mrs John Doe.

Let me also clarify one question that may come up for you–what about an affianced?  Indeed when you send out an invitation to an engaged friend you MUST also include their fiancee.  However, you should not include the fiancee on the STD or Engagement Announcement unless they reside together, and are doing so openly.  


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