Post # 1
Save the dates will go out 1 yr in advance of our domestic destination wedding to 80% of guests (the ones we’re sure we’re inviting). For the guest list kinks we’re still trying to work out, we’ll send those save the dates as soon as we’re sure or we might end up sending those ppl invites only depending on timing.
I was thinking invites should go out 5-7 months before the wedding and we’ll probably send a second round of invites (just to work out capacity issues) out a few months before the wedding, so those guests still have time to plan on coming. (they will have a different rsvp deadline that’s a month or so after their invites are out and they will not know any of the guests who received invites earlier)
When would you prefer to get an invitation for a domestic destination wedding?
What rsvp deadline makes sense for a domestic destination wedding? It seems like it’d be bad to send invites out 6 months in advance, then not request rsvp until 3 mos in advance (too much time to misplace invitation or forget to rsvp)?
[both invitations and save the dates will be snail-mailed and will also be emailed in a format that links directly to our website and rsvp if you click on it.]
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
I am also sending STDs to OOT guests 1 year in advance. I am, however, only sending formal invites 3 months prior to the wedding, and the RSVP deadline is 3 weeks before the wedding date. I think if you send the formal invites any more than 3 months out, you run the risk of people forgetting. I know sometimes I receive RSVPs and think, “i’ll get to it later”… but when I have soooo much time, I will forget.
EDIT: I am still noodling whether or not to shorten the time between mailing formal invites to my RSVP deadline (perhaps 2 months?).
Post # 4
@Shkragoldfish: I think the purpose of the STD’s is to let your guests know they are invited to the wedding and to start making travel plans, if they plan to attend. It is good you are sending those out 1 year in advance. BUT since you are doing the STD, I think you should follow traditional etiquette and send out the invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding and require an rsvp 3-4 weeks before the wedding.
I would not send the invites out any earlier than 2 months in advance – people will lose them, forget to respond, etc. And they obviously already know about the wedding because they received the STD.
Post # 5
@Sea_Ashley: I thought sending invitations 6-8 weeks in advance was only for non-destination weddings? and that the timing was earlier, even up to 6 months in advance for DWs?
I might be wrong, but I thought that often guests feel uncomfortable making full travel and hotel arrangements off of only a postcard and a website (which most guests don’t look at) and they wait until they get the full invitation to make their final arrangements and plans? @LMD: giving 3 months seems like enough time for that to me, but I’ve gotten many non-DW invites 3 months in advance, so it makes me want to give ppl full invites a bit earlier for my DW.
Not trying to be argumentative, just want to see what bees think.
Post # 6
Hmm most sites say to send DW invites out 2-3 months before wedding (Instead of traditional 6-8 weeks). Doing a b-list or multiple rounds of invites might bump the timeline to 4 months. But I’ve seen so many DW brides post about sending invites 5 or 6 months out- they’re just really early it seems?
Post # 7
@Shkragoldfish: My guests are almost all from Indiana or Michigan and I am having a DW in FL June 19th. The STD’s went out in September, Invitations went out in March and the RSVP was due back three weeks before the wedding (with the final headcount due 2 weeks before). I think that you will probably end up knowing almost everyone who is coming before you get the rsvp’s back through word of mouth. You really don’t want to pressure someone into deciding yes or no 3-4 months out, because I had some last minute (like 1-2 months out) guests decide to come.
Post # 8
@Shkragoldfish: P.S. out of 125 guests invited, almost 400 DID view our website, they won’t wait until the actual invite
Post # 9
@Shkragoldfish: I sent out my STDs one year prior, and sent my invitations out 4 months ahead of the game. The reason for this is twofold: 1) A LOT of our guests did not understand that a STD meant they were for sure invited to the wedding, and many lost them before they wrote down the wedding information, etc. so they were ZERO help in planning their trips; and 2) the place where we are getting married has limited accommodation options and we needed to get that sorted out ASAP so we wanted to get our RSVPs back sooner for OOT guests.
We’ve received 99% of the OOT guests RSVPs already, which is perfect because those are the ones that are the most time sensitive and we’ve also received plenty of the other RSVPs for more local guests, too, which is a bonus.
You just have to do what feels right for your situation. I posted on here about it and most people told me to wait because I’d sent out STDs. It didn’t make sense to me, and we wouldn’t have had anywhere for people to stay (or wasted money on accommodations we didn’t end up needing) so this is what worked for us. Nobody is judging us, and we won’t have too many people to chase after later because so far we’ve had a great response rate.
Post # 10
We are also having a domestic DW in the US but a good number of our guests are flying in from Asia and Europe. We sent out STDs 9 months before the wedding, and invitations went out 4.5 months before, with RSVP deadline at 3 months. We had to make our RSVP deadline really early because the hotel would only hold the room block until 2 months before the wedding and I fully expected people to drag their feet on making their reservations. Even with the one month buffer, this totally happened and now the hotel is sold out and a few friends have to bunk in with other people!
Post # 11
I also had all of these questions – also have a domestic destination wedding where about 90% are traveling over 2 hrs and staying overnight, including us.
I sent STD’s about 10 months out (meant to do 1 yr out, but it was the holiday season so had to choose my mail date carefully so people would be home)
Then I sent invites out 4.5 months out, and a second round about 3 weeks later after we started getting some word of mouth declines due to other summer travel plans.
Our RSVP date is 2 months in advance. So far, about 45% have RSVPed with 2 weeks left til the due date.
I will say that if I had to do it again, I would’ve made one of those mini-magnets. We didn’t bc I thought they were kind of imposing, but I have a feeling I’m going to have to remind half our guests about our wedding very soon. I thought they’d appreciate the extra time to make travel plans before it gets expensive, but I’ve come to the realization that most people are procrastinators and not budget-savvy travelers, and of course they have a lot else going on and are not really thinking about it.. Even half of our wedding party and my parents have yet to book their plans, and it’s about 10 weeks away. But this is why I’m glad I made the due date 2 months out, I knew that in spite of my best efforts, I’d probably have to chase people down. :-/
Post # 12
I VOTED as follows:
# 1 – I PREFER GETTING THE INVITE 5 TO 6 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING
This is true for me IF the Wedding is really far away from where I might expect the Bride & Groom to get wed… so not her hometown, where the couple lives now etc.
Particularly useful if it is a Destination Wedding to a spot that requires me as a Guest to put some forethought into my Planning to attend… such as a far-away / exotic / expensive Destination… OR a case where I have to make specific arrangements for time off, or airfare… OR it is a long weekend etc.
So being a Canadian… places where this might come into play would be…
A Caribbean Island Destination Wedding – It is at the other end of the USA… such as Miami, LA, Alaska – I am a relative of the Bride lives in Canada, Groom is from the UK, and Wedding will be in the UK – It is a Cruise Wedding – It is a Disneyland Wedding – It happens over an American Long Weekend
# 2 – I PREFER GETTING THE INVITE 3 TO 4 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING
This is my go-to choice for most Weddings these days (altho 2 months can work if it is a local Wedding… in that the majority of the Guests are in the town where the Wedding is to be)
3 to 4 Months and I can make arrangements for most Domestic situations… including the other side of Canada.
# 3 – THE RSVP DEADLINE SHOULD BE NO MORE THAN 2 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING
This timing works well for most situations… in that the majority of Venues need their numbers 7 to 30 Days out.
This also allows for a round of B-List Invites if that is something that the couple needs to look at (those RSVPs being somewhere in the 14 to 30 Day mark)
Hope this helps,
Post # 13
EDIT TO ADD – Sometimes Save The Dates can be more trouble than they are worth… so make sure you have all your ducks in a row (Guest List – Numbers – Budget etc) BEFORE you send those to someone.
STDs tho are great for TRUE Destination Weddings… so as to give Guests a “Heads Up” that things will be a tad different than they might expect when you marry.
See my Point # 1 in Reply # 11 above.
Hope this helps,
Post # 14
@swisea01: okay that sounds great. I really wonder where this 6 month in advance invite idea came from.
Post # 15
@This Time Round: very helpful. I knew I didnt make that 5-6 month idea up. Even though it’s domestic, this is a true destination wedding. Ppl seem to love the city and venue but it’s nowhere near where FI and I live or where we’re from (Or any of our guests). It’s an expensive and popular area that requires hotels and flights more than 2 months in advance typically. It’ll also require a tiny bit of time off (which guests okayed in advance). So I think I’m timeline 1 for you.
and, yes, no save the dates will be sent to any guest unless we’re 100% sure we’re inviting them
Post # 16
@This Time Round: one follow up question- even for type 1 weddings (w invites out 5-6 months early) do you think rsvps shouldnt be due until 2 months or less before wedding? so ppl would have invites 3-4 months before RSVP deadline? if so, should we send any reminder out (we have A site that sends out matching emails that look just like the real paper correspondence)?